us Page 661 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Landon Donovan Burns Jurgen Klinsmann, Gets Burned By Alexi Lalas
Landon Donovan is retired, and what better way to spend his down time than taking shots at Jurgen Klinsmann for leaving him off the 2014 World Cup roster?...

USWNT Reach Their Potential, Beat Germany 2-0
It took six games, but against Germany, the number one ranked team in the world, the USWNT finally showed how well they can play. They got a very big break from a blown call for their first goal, but the Americans played better throughout the match and deserved their victory....

An Ode to Sydney Leroux's Eyelashes
Everywhere I go, people are talking trash about Sydney Leroux’s fake eyelashes. To be fair, I’ve been in Canada, where she’s particularly reviled. I get it, she turned her back on you, Canada. You’re hurt. But through the pain, I beg you, do not bring her eyelashes into this. Because let’s be real: ...

Jon Stewart: Scalia Used The Old Man Dictionary To Write His Dissent
Last Friday, the Supreme Court ruled to recognize same-sex marriages nationwide, much to the delight of a whole lot of people. Except of course, resident crank Justice Antonin Scalia, who wrote a dissent that, from most reasonable folks’ perspective, sounded like nonsense....

How The USWNT Can Beat Germany
So here we are, at the semifinals of the 2015 FIFA Women’s World Cup. There have been upsets, trash talk, and general FIFA-inflicted incompetence. After Germany escaped France last weekend, and the United States of America triumphed over China, this match between the world’s two top-ranked teams pro...

Report: Increasingly Desperate Kings Are Trying To Lure John Calipari
We didn’t think it was possible for the Sacramento Kings to become a bigger mess than they already are, and yet here’s a new report from Yahoo’s Adrian Wojnarowski, which pulls back the curtain on a spectacularly broken franchise....

Inept FIFA Forces Women's World Cup Opponents To Share Hotel
Numerous times during the preparation for and staging of the 2015 Women’s World Cup, FIFA has made it clear that they don’t really give a shit about the women or teams involved. Here is another example. ...

Orbit Just <i>Loooooves</i> Baseball
We’re not sure what mascot Orbit is doing here, but it doesn’t much look like we imagine what the Astros planned it to....

Robinson Cano Leaves Game After Drilled In Head By Errant Throw
A bad warmup throw knocked Robinson Canó out of tonight’s game against the Angels when the Mariners second baseman got drilled in the head by a baseball....

Japan Score Scruffy Goal From A Corner, Progress To World Cup Semifinal
Look, they won’t all be wondrous moves drenched with class, genius, and magic pixie dust. But a winner is a winner, and Japan finally got theirs near the very end of their quarterfinal matchup against Australia....

US Track & Field Championships Simmering Til Done
Eugene, Ore., where the USA Track & Field National Championship is underway, is gripped in a heat wave. The steamy conditions produce a nice muscle-loosening affect on athletes whose events last less than 60 seconds, but it’s been less accommodating for the distance events. The preliminary rounds of...

A Lovely Saison For The Red Clapboard Farmhouse Of Your Dreams
Dear Drunkspin,...

Tanzania's Goat Races Are Decadent And Depraved
Slumgoat Millionaire lost his first race at the Dar es Salaam Charity Goat Races. While the “owners” (sponsors, really) were standing in the corral at the center of the small racetrack, one of the MCs asked Slumgoat’s patron if he knew the rules....

Clarence Thomas Name-Drops NBA While Arguing Some Discrimination Is OK
The summer of Justice Clarence Thomas making sports references in opinions from which his fellow justices run screaming continued yesterday with his dissent in a Texas case regarding housing discrimination. In this case, Thomas brought up the NBA and the fact that it is a predominantly black league....

Justin Gatlin Doesn't Owe You Anything
Imagine if David Ortiz were briefly suspended for doping in the minors, let off after it turned out that he had a convincing excuse, and then suspended again for four years after testing positive in November 2007, just after winning the World Series. Imagine that Papi came back a little rusty, but w...

NBA Draft Picks Choose Their Favorite Emoji; Justise Winslow Wins
Before last night’s draft, a handful of NBA prospects were asked for their favorite emoji. There were clear winners and losers....

The Kings Are Such A Mess Right Now
Big question for tonight’s draft telecast: will ESPN cut away if news breaks that Sacramento’s owner, coach, and best player are all brawling in an alley?...

Fuck This Bear: <i>Ted 2</i>,<i> </i>Reviewed
1. How sincere is Sincere Seth MacFarlane? I know I’m a dope for even asking—associating a genuine emotion with such a sniggering clown is a sucker’s bet—but I really do want to know. Because Ted 2 has moments, lots of moments, that it seems to play completely straight, as if we are watching an actu...
