us Page 666 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Is Lifetime Getting A Discount On Its <i>Full House</i> Cast Or Something?
Well, Lifetime either got some kind of insane deal on these actors, or found these people in a random parking lot, or the casting director involved suffers from face blindness. Because this is the cast of its upcoming fictionalized Full House movie. Cut it out! ...
Houston Astros Plan To Raze Center-Field Hill
Tal’s Hill functions as Minute Maid Park’s designated artificial quirk, but there’s good news for center fielders everywhere: the slope should be gone by next season. The team announced today that it has received approval from the Harris County-Houston Sports Authority to get rid of the hill (and so...
UAB Football Is Back From The Dead. Now The Hard Part Begins.
If you thought watching a football program die was hard, wait until we witness one try to raise itself from the grave....
Wacky, Hilarious Guy Dwight Howard Wore A Big Hat To The Astros Game
Poop joke virtuoso Dwight Howard was at last night’s Astros game, wearing a Rockets tank top and—a big cowboy hat??...
A Potent Texan IPA That Doesn't Waste A Drop Of Water
Houston flooded last week, which is both tragic and surprising: The tragedy is self-evident, and the surprise (to me at least) is that Houston is a flooding sort of place. It turns out that Texas isn’t a giant desert, and in fact Houston gets 60 percent more annual precipitation than Seattle, and th...
Shhh, James Harden's Sleeping
A woman in bed with James Harden snapped this photo of the snoozing Houston Rocket. If he starts tossing and turning, wake him up. He might be having a nightmare about Lil B....
<i>Love & Mercy </i>Brings Brian Wilson's Legend To Life, Twice
The Brian Wilson myth lends itself easily to the biopic treatment—perhaps too easily. In clumsy hands, the Beach Boys co-founder could be reduced to his most infamous, sensationalistic qualities: genius! Recluse! Weirdo! Thankfully, the Wilson-approved Love & Mercy is several degrees smarter and mor...
Hope Solo's Redemption Tour Has Begun
The Women’s World Cup starts June 6, and, right on time, frequently-arrested USWNT keeper Hope Solo’s reclamation project is starting up, too. If you’re wondering why this campaign is happening, we have no answers for you; all we can do is point you to the first stop, a long, gushy, and somewhat con...
Minor Leaguer's First Game With New Team: Two Grand Slams, 12 RBI
Astros prospect Derek Fisher earned promotion to the California League Lancaster JetHawks this weekend, and made the most of his first game at Class A (Advanced) with a 4-6, three home run, 12 RBI performance that smashed a single-game league record that had held for 61 years....
FIFA Sponsors Double Down On Endorsement Of Slavery
If you expected this week’s sham re-election of Sepp Blatter after a massive federal corruption takedown to be the final straw in corporate slave sponsors’ relationship with FIFA, you have far too optimistic a view of the world. McDonald’s, Anheuser-Busch, Coca-Cola, Visa, and other FIFA sponsors ar...
Four Minutes Of Josh Smith Being Bad Against The Warriors
Josh Smith wasn’t absolutely horrible for the Rockets in their playoff series against the Warriors, but he did have his bad moments. Someone compiled and helpfully annotated his blunders—mostly on defense, with a few bad three-point attempts sprinkled in—in a four-minute video. There’s a nice Easter...
Is Ray Rice Being Blackballed?
Speaking with ESPN yesterday, NFLPA executive director DeMaurice Smith pretty heavily suggested that there’s a concerted effort by owners to keep Ray Rice out of the league....
Shuttered Newspaper Goes Straight For The Dick-Joke Headline
On Thursday, News Limited announced that it would be ceasing publication of mX, a free Australian tabloid that circulated in Melbourne, Sydney and Brisbane. Following this announcement, mX decided to die historic on a fury road....
<i>San Andreas </i>Is The Perfect Replacement-Level Disaster Movie
1. San Andreas doesn’t hit a single beat you don’t expect, and there’s comfort in that. It feels like a ritual, like a visit to a loud but harmless elderly aunt’s house where you know nothing exciting is going to happen, but you’re okay with that. Sometimes you just need some quiet time, no? This mo...
Whose Disgusting Baseball Chin Is This?
Welcome back to Whose Disgusting Baseball Chin Is This? a regular feature in which we ask readers to identify a baseball player based on a closely cropped image of his disgusting chin. So, whose chin is this? Use the image slider below to find out....
How Did We All Get Sucked Into James Harden's Nightmare?
He had more turnovers than shot attempts. The whole performance was bad—sickeningly bad, broadly and in nearly all its details—but the main thing to know is that in last night’s Game 5 elimination, Houston’s James Harden conveyed the ball to the Golden State Warriors more times (13, a playoff record...
The Golden State Warriors Advance To The NBA Finals
Despite the 104-90 victory, the Warriors didn’t make it easy on themselves. They shot only 41%—and a putrid 23% in the first quarter—and never got their three-point shooting on track. Andrew Bogut picked up two early fouls, and Klay Thompson picked up five pretty stupid fouls (and had to go back to ...
The Texans Will Be On <i>Hard Knocks</i> And I'm Already Bored
According to multiple reports, the Texans will appear on this season’s edition of training-camp documentary Hard Knocks....
FIFA Says There Will Be No World Cup Re-Vote
As the Justice Department arrested or indicted 14 FIFA and media officials in dramatic early morning raids, Swiss authorities announced a criminal investigation of their own, into allegations of corruption and bribery related to the allocation of the 2018 and 2022 World Cups to Russia and Qatar. FIF...