us Page 692 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Which Guitar Solo Should You Fuck To?
Music makes sex even awesomer. But while there's a genre for every type of inter-personal physical expression, it's less clear how to match your accompaniment to specific sex durations. We're here to help....
German Player's Perfect Strike From Center Circle Makes Great Own Goal
It takes a special kind of calmness to lob a ball from the edge of the center circle with enough accuracy to find the back of the net. Unfortunately, Christoph Kramer so calmly played this pass because he expected it to find his own keeper, not sail over his teammate's head and into the goal....
UConn Wins Conference Soccer Championship, Flips America The Bird
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....
Army Beats UConn After Pick-Six On Would-Be Tying Touchdown Pass
Tonight's UConn-Army game from Yankee Stadium gave fans an especially unique experience: watching the first West Point win in the Bronx since 1960....
Australia To Stop Using Flamethrowers After Almost Flambéeing Cricketer
Cricket Australia will no longer set off flamethrowers at its matches after nearly burning its own captain to a crisp as he attempted to retrieve a ball past the boundary line....
Real Housewives Of Kenya: Jeptoo's Husband Alleges Doping, But Proves Blackmail
You can't make this stuff up. Kenyan runner Rita Jeptoo's estranged husband, Noah Busienei, produced a letter dated April 2013 from his lawyer to Jeptoo threatening to reveal her doping, which he alleged had been happening since September 2011, to Athletics Kenya and WADA unless she paid him off. T...
Marcus Smart Carted Off Floor After Suffering Leg Injury
Medical personnel wheeled Marcus Smart off the court on a stretcher tonight after the Celtics rookie severely rolled his ankle early in the fourth quarter of tonight's game against the Pacers in Boston....
Cops Looking Into Domestic Assault Allegation Involving Kurt Busch
Police in Dover, Del., are investigating a domestic violence case involving NASCAR driver Kurt Busch. Cops said they were getting "numerous media inquiries" about the driver, and in response released the following statement:...
Don't Worry, DeMarcus Cousins, Omri Casspi Has Your Back
A good friend always makes sure his buddy's headband situation is tight. Here, allow Omri Casspi to demonstrate:...
Marcus Lattimore To Retire Due To Persistent Knee Problems
Marcus Lattimore, once a star running back at the University of South Carolina and a current member of the San Francisco 49ers, is retiring from football at the age of 23 without ever having played in an NFL game. ...
Damning Emails Show The NCAA Was "Bluffing" On Penn State
Who wants to read some internal emails that make the NCAA look incompetent, reactionary, and completely unable to justify its own authority? ...
Kings And Nuggets Present A Very Special Triple Flop
DeMarcus Cousins, Rudy Gay, Kenneth Faried, let's see what you've got:...
Nerlens Noel Stuffs James Harden, Shits In The Graves Of His Ancestors
James Harden went for a buzzer-beating dunk to end the third quarter tonight in Philadelphia. Nerlens Noel had something to say about that. Specifically: "Fuuuuuuck no."...
The Beast Of Brazil: A Savage Trip To The Dark Heart Of The World Cup
This feature appears in the new issue of Howler, an independent magazine about soccer produced in the United States. You can order a copy here....
Throwback: Gus Malzahn Breakdances To "U Can't Touch This"
Someone uploaded a glorious video of then-high school football coach Gus Malzahn breaking it down to "U Can't Touch This." Witness the current Auburn coach bust moves like it's nothing. ...
Eagles Lineman Jason Peters Didn't Know Nick Foles Got Hurt
Eagles quarterback Nick Foles exited today's game in the first quarter with a collarbone injury after a tackle by Whitney Mercilus; former Jets hostage Mark Sanchez replaced him. Jason Peters, however, didn't immediately know about the switch, so he was in for a shock when he realized Foles didn't t...
Watch Prince's Electric Performance From Tonight's <em>Saturday Night Live</em>
Prince served as tonight’s SNL musical guest in one of the most anticipated appearances on NBC in recent memory. Here’s his balls-out, unprecedented eight-minute-long performance in its entirety; note that, for once, the Saturday Night Live sound mix sounds great....
Russell Westbrook Out Four Weeks With Broken Hand
There goes the Thunder's plan for keeping the ship afloat while waiting out Kevin Durant's injury, as they will now be without Russell Westbrook for at least a month. Westbrook broke a bone in his right hand in the team's second game of the season against Thursday, and had surgery Saturday to repair...
How To Roast Mushrooms: A Guide For Reformed Fraidycats
An opinion common to the children of America is that mushrooms are bad. They express this viewpoint with crinkled little noses and furrowed brows, picking mushrooms out of their food with chubby little fingers. "I don't wike these," they say. "They'we gwoss."...