us Page 697 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Danny Green Is Sorry About The Bad Caption On His Holocaust Selfie

Since the San Antonio Spurs are in Berlin to play an exhibition game against Alba Berlin, Danny Green used his free time to explore. He went to the Holocaust Memorial in Berlin and took a photo, which is fine. It's not like he's smiling in it. But the caption—"You know I had to do it one time lol #H...

Cardinals Fans Get Ugly In Clash With Ferguson Protesters

This guy right here, the one with "I am Darren Wilson" taped onto the back of his Cardinals jersey—an homage to the Ferguson, Mo., police officer who shot an unarmed teenager named Mike Brown to death in August—was at the Cardinals game last night. He, along with many other Cardinals fans, clashed...

You Like Bacon Because <em>They</em> Told You To

You are a North American, and probably a male, and so you like bacon. Bacon good, you say, making that Tim Allen caveman face: Me like bacon. Me not want to eat unbacon food. Bacon make food better. Me put bacon on burger, in chocolate, around scallop. Me brush teeth with bacon toothpaste. Me make l...

USA Swimming Suspends Michael Phelps For Six Months After DUI Arrest

Michael Phelps's comeback, with an eye on the 2016 Olympics, will be a little more difficult. After his DUI arrest last week, Phelps is now suspended from competition for six months....

Rugby Fan Celebrates Title By Swinging His Dong Around On TV [NSFW]

The South Sydney Rabbitohs won their first National Rugby League Grand Final in 43 years, and their fans were quite happy. One guy celebrated by taking off his pants with the quickness, and waving his dick around in the background of a live Channel Nine Australia broadcast....

The Cowboys Will Not Suffer Your Silly Celebrations

Get that shit outta here....

Yusmeiro Petit Was Essentially The Giants' Second Starter Last Night

Yusmeiro Petit has a weird position on the Giants. He was passable as a spot starter, but couldn't earn a place in a strong San Francisco rotation. The Giants don't need him to close out games, either, and Petit is capable of pitching longer than only an inning. But last night, in the longest MLB ...

Nebraska Lineman Gets Pancaked By All-American DL Invisible Man

Lou Holtz Doesn't Know What Ameer Abdullah's Name Is

Nebraska running back Ameer Abdullah is among a short list of players worthy of early-season Heisman talk, but ESPN college football analyst and race-baiter advocate Lou Holtz doesn't even know the Cornhuskers star's name—inserting, instead, something we're sure he finds appropriately "Ay-rabbic."...

The Most Important Passers On Every Premier League Team

Coming into this weekend, Yaya Toure, Manchester City's all-everything central midfielder, leads the EPL in passes per 90 min with 92.8. That is a lot. It would be logical and intuitive to conclude that Toure is the most influential passer in the EPL. But that distinction actually belongs to West...

Houston Lost To UCF On A Heartbreaking Play At The Goal Line

There was a crazy amount of sports on TV last night, so nobody should be blamed for missing a college football game between two unranked teams from the American Athletic Conference. But UCF's 17-12 victory over Houston featured one of the more dramatic endings you'll see all year....

Oregon QB Marcus Mariota Catches Trick Play Touchdown

Oregon's quarterback Marcus Mariota is a leading Heisman candidate because he can throw better than most college quarterbacks and run better than all of them. Now we can add receiving to that list, as he hauled in a 26-yard touchdown to put the Ducks up 7–3 on Arizona Thursday night. Mariota pitch...

NFLRA Accuses NFL Of Throwing Refs Under The Bus On Controversial Calls

In a statement, the NFL Referees Association accuses the league of privately confirming a pair of recent flags were correctly thrown, after publicly announcing the calls were in error....

Stevie Wonder Is Not Blind: The Truthers' Case

Earlier today, my esteemed colleague Drew Magary dropped "A Field Guide To American Truthers," in which the Big Daddy flamboyantly summarized some of the most common conspiracies in American culture. Within minutes, of course, readers took to Kinja and Twitter to add conspiracies we left out. One ...

Watch Scenes From Stephon Marbury's Weird-Ass Chinese Musical

Stephon Marbury is still hanging out in China, where he played basketball well enough to get a statue made for him, and he is now acting in a musical based on his life. The musical is called I Am Marbury, obviously....

Genius Bear Is Too Smart And Strong For Bullshit-Ass Electric-Deer Gag

Some scientist or whatever decided he wanted to hang an electrified deer carcass in the woods in order to see what would happen when a bear tried to eat the deer. Why did he do this? I don't know, man. Because he's a dickhead. But the good news is that this experiment was quickly and thoroughly torn...

WVU Football Players' Wrestling Matches Are More Fun Than <em>WWE Raw</em>

A group of West Virginia football players apparently hold WWE-style wrestling matches in their locker room. They're pretty good at selling moves!...

Dude Faints Three Damn Times While On Slingshot Amusement Park Ride

Videos of people freaking out while on the slingshot ride have become an entire YouTube genre, but aside from the one in which DMX rides the slingshot with a stranger, none of them have made me laugh as much as this one did....

How Hulk Became The World's Most Underappreciated Superstar

If there's one good thing about the handful of great players plying their trade in Russia—and it would be the only good thing, mind you—it's that their home Champions League ties often start a few hours before the rest. That timeslot gives their abilities at least a modicum of the attention they des...

How A War Over Tackle Football Consumed America's Most Elite Prep School

The tide has turned against the marginalization and "sissification" of the rich American white boy. Or, at least, intramural tackle football is back at the Lawrenceville School....