us Page 788 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Justin Rose Wins The U.S. Open
Justin Rose won the U.S. Open, but since Phil Mickelson came in second (again) it'll play like Phil lost it. But Justin Rose (basically) kept it together while everyone else fell apart and deserves some credit for succeeding where they all failed. He shot even on the day when most of his competition...
You Won't See Jungle Bird At This Year's U.S. Open Trophy Ceremony
Last year's U.S. Open trophy ceremony was improved with the appearance of a man squawking in front of the camera....
Phil Mickelson Eagled 10 To (Momentarily) Regain The Lead At U.S. Open
It's felt like the entire field has crumpled at the same time during the final round of the U.S. Open today at Merion. Luke Donald went from hitting out of the water to hitting out of the sand. Rory McIlroy broke a club and while it looked like perpetual sad-sack Jason Dufner was going to make a pu...
Vladimir Putin Says He Didn't Steal Bob Kraft's Super Bowl Ring
Yesterday, we wrote about how Russian president Vladimir Putin Deboed Patriots owner Bob Kraft for one of his Super Bowl rings. The story felt too good to be true, which means it might be too good to be true. Kraft's recount of the exchange and Putin's quote, for example, approaches something resemb...
Sometimes You Run The Dog; Sometimes You're The Dog Who Needs Running
My wife's butt is quickly pulling away. My dog's tail, though already small to begin with, looks like a peppercorn in the salad green of the forest. And I am hydroplaning through the muck of the trails. It is raining, I am running and I am hungover. Fuck....
Shawn Stefani Hits Hole-In-One At U.S. Open
Stefani's ace on 17 was the first ever at a U.S. Open at Merion and the 43rd in U.S. Open history. What sets it apart from most is that Stefani flew his tee shot completely over the green, landed the ball in the rough and then watched it trickle down into the hole. ...
"Bad British Commentary" Makes All Baseball Highlights Exciting
Who knew Joseph Gordon-Levitt was so good at getting on base?...
U.S. Open Spectators Are Heckling Sergio Garcia With "Fried Chicken"
Oh, for the quaint days of just a few weeks ago, when the Sergio Garcia-Tiger Woods feud was about disruptions on the playing course instead of racial remarks off it....
Roy Hibbert Can Never Play For Team USA, And It's All Jamaica's Fault
The United States Olympic basketball team, finding itself short on centers, wanted to add Indiana Pacers big man Roy Hibbert to its roster before the 2012 summer games. There was just one problem: Hibbert belonged to the Jamaican national team. On this week's excerpt from Slate's Hang Up and Listen ...
It's A Turd! It's Plain! <em>Man Of Steel</em>, Reviewed.
1. On the surface, it seems obvious why you'd attempt to reboot the Superman franchise using the Christopher Nolan-Batman model. Nolan's Dark Knight films are terrific, brooding and powerful, and, oh by the way, they grossed a combined $2.5 billion worldwide. But their trying to make a tortured-supe...
Trolley Driver Beats Up Old Man On Crutches, Because Russia
Another one for the archive of the absurd thanks to Russian drivers and their all-seeing dashboard cameras. There's plenty of suspense here, so be sure to watch this video all the way through....
Yasiel Puig Is The Inspiration Behind A New Grindcore Band
OK, so I'm not sure if you can really call these guys a band, as they have only released one 48-second song so far. Still, the members of Puig Destroyer are big fans of Dodgers phenom Yasiel Puig, and they aren't afraid to express their appreciation of his skills as loudly and proudly as possible. ...
Hey, Here's A Dildo That Is Also A Ceramic Jesus Figurine
How do you feel about the ceramic Jesus figurine pictured above? It's pretty nice, right? If you saw that figurine at a flea market, you would probably consider buying it for your religious grandmother. It would look great on her nightstand! You would just need to make sure that she never, ever turn...
Carl Pettersson's Ball Got Struck By Another Ball On His Backswing
Pettersson was finishing up his first round at the U.S. Open this morning, addressing his ball on the fifth fairway. An errant shot from the neighboring 2nd tee ruined all that....
Grand Master
Here's Rick Reilly on Jack Nicklaus' incredible performance at the 1986 Masters:...
Lee Westwood Hits One Right Into The Gallery, Checks His Eyes
Despite the steel-colored hellstorms that have consumed most of the northeastern United States during the past week, the U.S. Open did begin today, albeit with a few rain delays here and there. And thank heavens that it did. Because this happened....
NBC's Fake <em>USA Today</em> Pages Actually Text From The <em>Chicago Sun-Times</em>
You may have noticed NBC running these stupid, horribly-Photoshopped USA Today pages on their sports broadcasts recently. The mockups were inane enough before we realized the text was plagiarized from a Chicago Sun-Times article about this year's Notre Dame-Michigan football game....
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Why'd It Have To Be Snakes?
Gordon Wright, another lover of classic sports writing, suggested this fun piece of work by Jeff MacGregor. From Sports Illustrated back in 1998, dig "Snakes Alive!"...