us Page 791 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
A Treadmill Is The Vestibule Of Hell: Recovering Fatass Soundtrack
This week was the kind of week that tests even the most capital-R of Runners' dedication to not being a total waste-of-life fatass: it rained a lot and when it wasn't raining it was hotter than Mrs. Reilly tongue-bathing some shrimp vindaloo. Here's a Spotify playlist that assisted in braving the el...
This Own Goal From Chivas USA Defender Mario de Luna Makes Us Sad
Midway through the first half in last night's MLS clash between the Seattle Sounders and Chivas USA, Sounders midfielder Mauro Rosales broke free down the right flank and lofted a ball into the box towards an open Obafemi Martins. But Rosales overshot his target, and the cross floated all the way to...
Taste Test: Uncrustables. What Does The Crustless PB&J Say About Us?
One of parenthood's myriad challenges, as any parent will attest, is finding the time in one's overscheduled, playdate- and tedious-errand-choked day to make weirdo peanut-butter-and-jelly-stuffed pierogi to foist upon our frightened and sobbing children. Thankfully, somebody at The J.M. Smucker Co...
Watch This Russian Bear Do Tricks, Because Russian Bears Are The Best
This video has been popping up all over the internet the last few days, so if you haven't seen it yet consider this your chance to amend that mistake. Nobody should go through life without having seen a Russian bear play the trumpet, use a hula hoop, and sit in a chair like a human being. There are...
Map: Do You Live In IHOP America Or Waffle House America?
America might be a fast-food nation, but at least it's a rich, greasy tapestry of fast food. In-N-Out Burger is the jewel of the West Coast. Massachusetts seems to breed Dunkin' Donuts franchises the way it used to breed Kennedys. Oklahoma and Wyoming are the only states to have both Hardee's and Ca...
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Here Is The Paterno Family's Lawsuit Against The NCAA
Though delayed by overtime hockey, Costas Tonight eventually devoted a whole hour last night to a re-examination of the Freeh report. Bob Costas said at the outset—and at the end of the program—that he had invited Louis Freeh and NCAA president Mark Emmert to participate in the discussion. They decl...
This Gallery Of Adrian Beltre GIFs Will Make Your Day
GIF maestro Drew Sheppard went and did us all a huge favor by creating a gallery of Texas Rangers-era Adrian Beltre GIFs. The gallery is full of all the things that make Beltre so damn GIFable: From-the-knees homers, slick defensive plays, and plenty of Beltre's patented don't-touch-my-head freakou...
Bear Gets Hit By Moving Car, Gets Up Like It's No Big Deal
Here's a little something to help you get your morning started right, courtesy of yet another Russian with a dashboard camera and an indestructible bear....
Here Are The 2014 Olympic Medals
Today at the IOC executive board meetings in St. Petersburg, the medals for the 2014 Sochi Olympics were officially unveiled. Uh, Russia? It looks like a big chunk is missing....
He Punches like a Fucking Mule Kick
Here is a good story from "Second Wind: Memoirs of an Opinonated Man," by Bill Russell with the historian Taylor Branch (1979, Random House; currently out-of-print). It’s about Russell’s grandfather and his mule, Kate. Russell’s family was from Monroe, La., and he lived down there until he was about...
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2 Former Chivas USA Coaches Say They Were Fired For Not Being Mexican
Two former coaches for MLS side Chivas USA’s youth academy have filed a discrimination lawsuit against the club, claiming they were fired because the team wanted to purge all employees who “were neither Mexican nor Latino.”...
Here and Now
Ali. The Greatest. There is an entire body of sports writing devoted to him. For more than a generation it's as if every writer worth his or her salt had to tackle him at one point. ...
Sad Dortmund Greeted By Peppy Flash Mob After Champions League Loss
Mere hours after a hard-fought, heartbreaking 2-1 loss in the Champions League final, a dejected Borussia Dortmund trudged to the airport for the miserable flight home. They just wanted to be left alone with their thoughts, and their regrets. That's when the beatboxer piped up....
Mariners Manager Says Sabermetrics Made Dustin Ackley Suck
The Seattle Mariners optioned once-promising second baseman Dustin Ackley to Triple A yesterday because Ackley has been having a miserable season at the plate. But what's to blame for Ackley's .205 average and .266 on-base percentage? Mariners coach Eric Wedge has a theory, and it has to do with all...
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TMZ: Keyshawn Johnson Chased Down Justin Bieber For Driving Too Fast
Where even to begin with this one? "BIEBER VS. KEYSHAWN: INTENSE SHOWDOWN At Singer's Mansion." Bieber. Versus. Keyshawn. Intense showdown. It's tabloid Christmas, thanks to TMZ. And it gets even better....