us Page 805 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

This Year, Iditarod Mushers Will Be Peeing Themselves Mid-Race With The Help Of Science
The Iditarod kicked off over the weekend, and it'll be more than a week before even the best mushers complete the race. That 1000-mile trek through the Alaskan wilds is tough enough, even without having to take bathroom breaks at rest-stop Hardees or pee off the back of your sled, giggling as the st...

Kirk Gibson And Dusty Baker Are Already Feuding Like Schoolgirls
We're still more than three weeks from the start of the MLB regular season, but that completely nonexistent heated rivalry between the Diamondbacks and the Reds is already starting to simmer. Yesterday, before their Cactus League cage match, managers Kirk Gibson and Dusty Baker met at home plate to ...

Bigoted Israeli Soccer Fans Walk Out After Muslim Player Scores For Their Team
Beitar Jersualem, one of Israel's most popular soccer teams, added two non-Israeli players to its roster this year. Zaur Sadayev and Dzhabrail Kadiyev are both Chechan Muslims and are two of the five non-Israeli players to have ever suited up for Beitar throughout the team's existence. Unsurprising...

Brittney Griner Threw Down This Dunk, And Women's College Hoops Had A Very Good Night
Last night in South Bend, Ind., a women's college basketball game between the sports' Nos. 2 and 3—Notre Dame and UConn, respectively—went to triple OT to decide the Big East. The Fighting Irish defeated UConn, 96-87, to earn its second straight regular-season conference title and become the first...

Matt Schaub Says The NFL Will Never Evolve Beyond The Pocket Passer
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Schaub thinks Wilson, Kaepernick, and RG3 are just aberrations....

The Golf Boys Have Returned To Rap Horribly At You
It was almost two years ago that the Golf Boys—a group consisting of PGA pros Bubba Watson, Hunter Mahan, Ben Crane, and Rickie Fowler—released "Oh Oh Oh" onto the world. Their follow up, cleverly titled "2.Oh," sees the Golf Boys taking a huge leap forward in production value while bringing the w...

Report From The Future: Colby Rasmus Says His Quotes About John Farrell Were Taken Out Of Context
We can probably start a countdown because this will likely be walked back shortly. That's usually what happens when a quote starts "I'm not trying to bash anybody by starting up crap..." and does not end in a period. It's the "but" that gets you....

The Philadelphia District Attorney Trolled Andrew Bynum's Bum Knees
Today Philadelphia's district attorney got on the Twitter to muse about opening an investigation into Andrew Bynum's lack of contributions to the local basketball club. This fellow Seth Williams did so because Bynum, a very talented and thus very expensive professional basketball player, has earned ...

The NFL Appears Totally Ready For An Openly Gay Player, So Long As You Overlook Its Teams And Players
One of the most unintentionally hilarious sentences currently in print can be found on this SB Nation post by Robert Wheel, a.k.a. Bobby Big Wheel, called "What the NFL can do to support gay players." Beneath, a comma-spliced subhed reads: "The NFL is ready for a gay player, the problem is the rest ...

Here's A Weird Arnold-Schwarzenegger-Themed Music Video We Found
The Arnold Classic, one of the biggest stops on the professional bodybuilding tour, is going on in Columbus, Ohio, this weekend. To mark the occasion, here's "Arnold," by Australian DJ Luke Million, spliced with clips and samples from 1977's Pumping Iron. It's strange and we like it....

Zach Galifianakis Is Nikola Pekovic's Ventriloquist Dummy
If the two people in this photo weren't famous, it would be quite the optical illusion. Is the guy on the left some kind of bearded mini-person, or is the guy on the right a gigantic mutant? I can't tell!...

Coach K Hates Fun And Games
A wonderful thing happened in Charlottesville, Va., last night: the Virginia Cavaliers defeated No. 3 Duke, 73-68. Duke losses are always something we, united in our reasonable hatred of the Blue Devils, can collectively appreciate; that this one came against an unranked bubble team playing on it...

Brewers' Racing Sausage Thieves Took Their Prize On A Boozy Bender
More details about the recent theft of Guido the Italian Sausage have emerged, and they come courtesy of those who carried out the heist. Ted Berg of USA Today Sports received a message from the sausage thieves, and under the condition of maintaining their anonymity, they told him all about the grea...

Yet Another Weird Baseball Injury: Elvis Andrus Sits With Tattoo Soreness
Rangers SS Elvis Andrus is not in the lineup today, having been scratched with "Silly Non-Baseball-Related Malady." It's very common, especially in spring training. This particular incidence took the form of muscle soreness, caused by a giant tattoo....

Chris Kluwe And Brendon Ayanbadejo File A "Cockmonster"-Free Marriage-Equality Brief With The Supreme Court
Vikings punter Chris Kluwe and Ravens linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo have been the most outspoken proponents of gay marriage in the NFL, if not in all of sports. This fall, they found themselves on the right side of gay-marriage referendums in their respective states, Minnesota and Maryland, whereupo...


Today's The Anniversary Of That <em>Other</em> Miracle On Ice
Last Friday was the anniversary of the Miracle on Ice, the U.S.'s semifinal win over a terrifying Russian side at the 1980 Olympics. It was noted, as it is every year, since it's the greatest moment in American hockey history, and marketable too—Mike Eruzione took the auspicious day to auction off...

Monta Ellis Wins Game With Ridiculous Buzzer-Beater, Immediately Exits Court
Steph Curry wasn't the only one doing what he was put on Earth to do last night. Monta Ellis, one of the league's most renowned chuckers, had himself a quintessential Monta Ellis game in Houston. He scored 27 points on 9-24 shooting and hit the crazy, game-winning buzzer-beater you see above. It's...

Mickael Pietrus Interrupts NBA TV Segment With Dancing Routine
NBA TV Canada broadcasters Paul Jones and Sherman Hamilton were just trying to get in a few league news and notes before Toronto's losing effort in Cleveland tonight when in came Mickael Pietrus....
![A Hero Emerges In The Milwaukee Racing Sausage-Napping [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18fzhpk4dbfedjpg.jpg)
A Hero Emerges In The Milwaukee Racing Sausage-Napping [UPDATE]
We told you earlier today about the theft of beloved Brewers Italian racing sausage, Guido. The whereabouts of Guido and his thieving conspirators—it's got to be at least a two-man job at this point—remain a mystery. Their days may be numbered however thanks to one brave woman's plan: free mustard....