us Page 812 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Chris Bosh Continues To Be An Excellent Photobomber (White House Edition)
On Monday, the Miami Heat visited the White House in order to be congratulated by Barack Obama for winning the 2012 NBA championship. The visit was a worthy endeavor if only because it led to the creation of the photograph above....

Kari Lehtonen Made The Best Save Of This Young NHL Season
It shouldn't have come to this. Dallas's Kari Lehtonen should never have had to make this spinning, behind-the-back swipe that kept the Stars-Blue Jackets game scoreless. Even screened by Nick Foligno, Lehtonen will probably be the first to tell you he should have gloved the puck, or knocked it do...

Justin Gimelstob Would Like You To Watch The Australian Open Mixed Doubles Final
Former professional tennis player and all-world manly man—as in sex-with-ladies manly man—Justin Gimelstob is at it again (here, "at it again" is open to interpretation, but most likely means "reminding you he is a thing that exists"). Gimelstob is currently an announcer for the Tennis Channel and l...

<i>Forbes</i>'s "Best Sports Blogs" Of 2003 Are A Portal To A Time You're Glad You Forgot
The shortest increments of time known to humanity are the following, beginning with the most brief:...

Bob Costas's Eulogy For Stan Musial Was Midwestern Sports Reverence At Its Finest
The gee whiz school of sports coverage has lost ground for years to the aw nuts crowd, largely because fans and media alike don't like playing the patsy to athletes' bogus lore. Lance was doping. Bobby Thomson stole signs. Manti was mourning a photograph with a nice voice. What's the world coming to...

Tom Brady's New House Literally Has A Moat
Above, Tom Brady's new $20 million California home, which, besides being sunken into what looks like an un-traversable valley, also has a moat—literally, a moat. You can't really see it from the above angle because the massive house is blocking our view, but here's another view, where you can the m...

Villanova Upsets Third-Ranked Syracuse Because Syracuse Was Stupid
A Ryan Arcidiacono three-pointer with seconds remaining in regulation forced overtime in Philadelphia, an opportunity of which the Villanova Wildcats took advantage in shocking Syracuse with a 75-71 victory....

Lance Armstrong Lied To Oprah, Is Being Sued By People Who Bought His Book, And Refuses To Talk To The USADA
Lance Armstrong was motivated to do the Oprah Winfrey interview that made everyone hate him in part because he thought "coming clean" would be the first step toward reducing his lifetime competitive sports ban. Unfortunately, Travis Tygart, the head of the USADA and the person who could adjudicate ...

Cedric Benson's Dogs Are A Scourge Upon Local Livestock
Green Bay Packers running back and part-time strip club DJ Cedric Benson is not very good at controlling his murderous dogs. According to the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel, Benson was recently issued a citation after his two Rottweilers went on a violent rampage against some innocent livestock....

UFC On Fox 6: What Do MMA Fans Have Against The Little Guys?
One of the best things about fighting today is that it's fairly free of bullshit. The sport is beneath the notice of the big-time mythmakers, and its own media hustlers are too inept for their godding up to have any real effect, so a fight is rarely about anything so simple as redemption or salvatio...

Arizona's Justification For Trading Justin Upton Is Insufferable
The Arizona Diamondbacks' decision to trade Justin Upton to the Atlanta Braves for Martin Prado, Randall Delgado, and a handful of prospects is a curious one. Upton had a relatively disappointing season in 2012 (he still posted 2.5 WAR according to Fangraphs), but he looked like the second coming o...

Rating Every Sketch In <em>Kentucky Fried Movie</em>, The Film <em>Movie 43</em> Wanted to Be
Tomorrow, the film Movie 43 opens, and if its stars have their way, you'll never know a thing about it. As amusingly detailed in the New York Post this week, the myriad of movie stars involved in Movie 43 — including Richard Gere, Naomi Watts, Halle Berry, Emma Stone, Hugh Jackman and Kate Winslet —...

Minor League Hockey Team's Beer-Chugging Intermission Show Results In Fans Puking On The Ice
The Rapid City (S.D.) Rush of the independent Central Hockey League coughed up a brilliant idea for their intermission entertainment Friday night. It was the Rush's annual College Night, so the team's brain trust thought it would be a blast to stage what was billed as The College Olympics. The premi...

JaMarcus Russell, Who Now Weighs More Than 300 Pounds, Is Thinking Comeback
JaMarcus Russell, the first overall pick of the 2007 draft, pretty much ate and purple drank his way through $31.5 million in guaranteed money. The Raiders cut him loose in May 2010, and he had a couple of failed tryouts with the Redskins and Dolphins later that summer. Since then, the only signal...

Headline Above Newspaper's Blowjob Pantomime Photo: "Taking Hard Hit To Chin"
Yesterday, we all had a good laugh at the Columbus Dispatch's photo of the pivotal play from Monday night's Red Wings-Blue Jackets game. Something something Damien Brunner scored a shootout goal something something we think the Red Wings won something something ... oh, look: That fan in the front ro...

Can Anyone Think Of Another Reason Sloane Stephens Is Considered Serena Williams's "Protégé"?
This evening, Serena Williams plays 19-year-old American phenom Sloane Stephens in the quarterfinals of the Australian Open. The two played for the first time just three weeks ago in Brisbane, when No. 3 Williams cruised past No. 25 Stephens, 6-4, 6-3. But tonight's match has something of a differen...

New Study Reveals That CTE May Be Detectable In Living Patients
A new study, published by researchers at UCLA in the American Journal of Geriatric Psychiatry, shows evidence that Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy (CTE) can be detected in living patients via positron emission tomography (PET) scans. CTE is a particular type of brain damage that causes depression,...
![Rex Ryan Wrecked His Red Mustang After Running A Stoplight In Pennsylvania Last Week, According To Police [Updated With Photo Of Other Car]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18cb0z1cta7utjpg.jpg)
Rex Ryan Wrecked His Red Mustang After Running A Stoplight In Pennsylvania Last Week, According To Police [Updated With Photo Of Other Car]
Rex Ryan was already having a multi-car pileup of an offseason, metaphorically. Now comes word that the Jets head coach literally had one last week: A tipster wrote us yesterday to say that a week earlier, Ryan was in a three-car crash in Bethlehem, Pa....

Potential Nebraska Transfer Pulled Over By State Trooper, Let Off With 15-Minute Talking-To About How Great The Huskers Are
Pat Smith has spent three seasons kicking for Western Illinois, but he's been weighing a transfer for his senior year. Last weekend he drove to Nebraska to visit campus, but as he tells the Quincy Herald-Whig, he was pulled over by a state trooper soon after crossing the border....

Newspaper Photograph Of Hockey Game Highlighted By Fan's Blowjob Pantomime
The Columbus Dispatch's game story today tells us about the SRO crowd at Nationwide Arena, the outstanding play of goalie Sergei Bobrovsky, and the moral victory the Blue Jackets apparently earned with their close loss to the Red Wings and their aging roster....