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Excerpts From The Recent USADA Report That Make Lance Armstrong Look Like An Asshole
On Wednesday, the United States Anti-Doping Agency released hundreds of pages of allegations against Lance Armstrong purporting to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that Armstrong not only doped, but organized a doping ring. The question of whether or not Lance Armstrong used PEDs is basically settle...

Several Fights Broke Out And A Man Was Stabbed During The First Syracuse Basketball Practice Of The Season
Orange Madness, the Syracuse version of the Midnight Madness events that take place all over the country on the first day of basketball practices, devolved into chaos around the periphery of the Carrier Dome last night. Syracuse security told reporters that multiple scuffles broke out around concess...

Nationals Buoyed By Fans' "Magical" A-Ha Singalongs To "Take On Me"—And Tonight's Was The Best Yet
As noted earlier this week, Michael Morse's walkup music choice of a-ha's "Take On Me" has become a rallying cry for "Natitude." The intensity of the singing has increased as the series has gone on, and tonight's eighth-inning rendition was truly a sight to see. Er, hear. [TBS]...

U.S.A. Escapes From Antigua With A Win Thanks To Eddie Johnson's Last-Second Goal
Eddie Johnson scored both goals for the U.S. men's national team and helped lift his side to an enormous 2-1 upset over the heavily favored Antigua & Barbuda team tonight in North Sound....

Justin Verlander And Kate Upton Are A "Good-Looking Pair," According To Justin Verlander's Grandfather
Say, did you hear the rumor that Tigers ace Justin Verlander is dating supermodel Kate Upton? Exciting stuff, no? Well, Celebuzz says it's true, and that "multiple family members"—Verlander's and Upton's grandfathers, to be exact—"have confirmed it."...

Here's One Of The Best Beano Cook Stories
A lot of great stories about the late Beano Cook have been making the rounds this week, but there may be none better than this one, which originally appeared in the Sept. 1, 1982, issue of Sports Illustrated:...

How NHL Interference Forced One Of The Game's Best Reporters Out Of Hockey
Rich Hammond covered the Kings for the Los Angeles Daily News for nearly a decade, becoming known as one of the most respected writers in the sport—even in a town with Helene Elliott. But hockey being hockey, and dying newspapers being dying newspapers, the Daily News decided it was no longer cost-e...

Reds Catcher Ryan Hanigan Couldn't Bear To Watch Buster Posey's Grand Slam
Today's decisive NLDS Game 5 between the Giants and Reds became decisive a little earlier than Cincinnati would care for, as Buster Posey's fifth-inning grand slam gave San Francisco a 6-0 lead with the Reds finding their offense unable to do much against Matt Cain (at least until that point; they'...

Is South Carolina Hypnotizing Opponents With "Gay Techno Glow-Stick Music?"
South Carolina has had to scrap on the road this year, but has looked nigh-unbeatable at Williams-Brice, including spanking Georgia this past weekend. A lesser intellect would be content to chalk that up to typical home-field advantage. But the denizens of the SECRant message boards are no lesser ...

Dale Earnhardt, Jr. To Miss Two Chase Races After Suffering Concussion In Massive Talladega Wreck
After suffering multiple concussions in a series of wrecks—the most recent after this massive scramble at Talladega on Sunday—Dale Earnhardt, Jr. will miss the next two NASCAR Chase races following discussions with medical experts....

Justin Bieber Fan Defaces Rick Rypien Memorial In Vancouver, Faces Wrath Of Hockey Fans
The American Civil War was fought over slavery and states' rights. The Canadian Civil War will naturally be fought between supporters' of the country's two pastimes: hockey and Justin Bieber....

Sam Rockwell Is The Next Christopher Walken
There's a scene, late in Seven Psychopaths, the deliriously entertaining meta-movie that opens Friday, when Sam Rockwell's character Billy—the most psychopathic of all the psychopaths of the title—attempts to decipher the hoary adage, "an eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind." He mulls for a ...

Here Is (Some Of) USADA's 1,000-Page Report About Lance Armstrong Doping
We wrote about this earlier today, but now the full 1,000-page report is available online. [Update: We were promised 1,000 pages. The below falls well short. Was USADA's press release doping, too?] We'll be spending some time combing through it to see if anything stands out. The entire report is be...

How The NFL's Best Defensive Lineman Is Changing The Way The Game Is Played
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The USADA Is Set To Publish A 1,000-Page Report Detailing Lance Armstrong's Involvement In A Doping Ring
To demonstrate that the US Anti-Doping Agency is in no way pursuing an over-the-top personal vendetta against Lance Armstrong, USADA CEO Travis Tygart released a statement this morning announcing that, with the cooperation of nearly a dozen of his ex-teammates, the organization has produced more th...

Ben Affleck's Only Weakness As A Director: Casting Ben Affleck. <em>Argo</em>, Reviewed.
1. Argo is such a terrific, jaw-dropping true-life tale, with such a natural, seamless movie storyline, that anyone who knows the story would beg the filmmakers not to screw it up. So it's a relief that they absolutely do not do that. There are so many tones to juggle here; this is a film that veers...

"Evaluate The Accusers And Their Families": Here Is Jerry Sandusky's Defiant Statement From Jail On The Eve Of His Sentencing
As alluded to earlier, Jerry Sandusky released a statement from jail yesterday that was given to Penn State's communication department radio station. The audio can he heard by clicking here, but the full text of that statement can be read below:...
![Jerry Sandusky Has Been Sentenced To 30 to 60 Years In Prison [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/181mo2mvbwp92jpg.jpg)
Jerry Sandusky Has Been Sentenced To 30 to 60 Years In Prison [UPDATE]
Bloomberg News was first with the report out of Bellefonte, Pa. It ought to be enough to keep the 68-year-old former Penn State defensive coordinator, who was convicted back in June of 45 counts of child molestation, in prison for the rest of his life. His attorneys had previously vowed an appeal. S...

"Coeds Appreciated": Jerry Sandusky's Other Lawyer Bought Drinks For Penn State Students Last Night
When we approached Karl Rominger to do a live chat with our readers a few months back, we did so because Rominger—the defense attorney repping Jerry Sandusky who isn't Lawyerin' Joe—struck us as the kind of guy who might be fun to have a beer with. Sure enough, Rominger didn't disappoint. And last n...

Jerry Sandusky's Lawyer Says Sandusky Was Too Busy Being A Swell Guy To Molest Any Children
You know that plan Lawyerin' Joe Amendola had to get Jerry Sandusky a new trial by declaring himself incompetent? Yeah, that can wait. For now, on the eve of Sandusky's sentencing hearing, Lawyerin Joe's sticking to the script that Sandusky is innocent, and that there's just no way Sandusky could ha...