us Page 859 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Thunder-Heat Series Isn't About The Noise; It's About The Beauty
Before turning on the television to watch Game 3 of the NBA Finals last night, I made the mistake of going to ESPN.com to read about the game, and then I compounded that mistake by clicking on this link, which led me to a video clip of Stephen A. Smith and Skip Bayless screaming about how terrible ...
Golf Has A New "Cigar Guy"
Remember Cigar Guy? There's a new member of the stogie-sporting clan, and this one's garbed in what appears to be a tribute to the late Payne Stewart. We only saw this one glimpse of him, and frankly his expression leaves a bit to be desired; even worse, he was at best the second-weirdest person at...
Jerry Sandusky Still Has A Legal Advantage Over His Accusers Because Pennsylvania Law Is Still Stupid
Prosecutors have identified all but two of the 10 men Jerry Sandusky is accused of sexually assaulting as children. All eight of those known victims finished testifying Thursday, so those of us following the trial are hereby spared from any more nauseating details of the former Penn State defensive ...
Webb Simpson Wins U.S. Open, Has Trophy Ceremony Invaded By Squawking British Man
Webb Simpson seized his first major title on a U.S. Open Sunday rife with errors in play by all competitors. At times, it looked more like the Albert Achievement Awards than a professional golf tournament, but by far the weirdest moment came after play ended when a man garbed in Union Jack colors...
Beau Hossler Is Young, Has A Missing Caddy
On the third hole of the final day at the U.S. Open, our teenaged Beau hit a shot into the sand. He would get on the green on his next shot, though likely gritting his be-braced teeth—what with all the sand and aggravation. His caddy then went to clean up after him in the bunker. But, it appears h...
Beau Hossler Is Young, Has Braces
As we await the final round of the 2012 U.S. Open, the story of the week has been the young amateur Beau Hossler. He is a 17-year-old junior from Santa Margarita High and he is tied for eighth, four off the lead. There's a lot to say about a performance like this on a course that is humbling the be...
Female Indian Athlete Accused Of Rape, Having A Penis
Here's a song we've heard before. A female athlete is accused of not being a female. This time, the woman's name is Pinki Pramanik and she is an Indian runner....
Chris Berman At The U.S. Open: "I'd Rather Sit In The Corner Of A Deserted Warehouse And Slug Rats"
Chris Berman, the sentient sports fan's favorite punching bag, spent the last two days ruining the U.S. Open, according to many. Operating brains everywhere were firing off questions like "Why?" and "Is ESPN trying to kill me?" Probably not, but It is, of course, a symptom of the larger problem a...
Justin Tuck's Crazy New Facemask Is Awesome <em>And</em> Functional
This season New York Giants defensive end Justin Tuck will be taking the field with a particularly striking helmet that looks like something that a mean robot would wear. Although the mask is aesthetically pleasing and will make Tuck look undeniably badass, it actually serves a purpose as well....
A Frustrated Sergio Garcia Smashes The Shit Out Of An ESPN Microphone
Garcia came up short on a short par-3 this afternoon at Olympic — a bad shot, but not that bad — and took out his frustrations on the microphone embedded near the tee. Garcia is four over through 36 holes, just in under the projected cut line....
Arena Football Player Has Best Excuse Ever For Why His Apartment Caught On Fire
"Kevin Marcus Ellison of the Spokane Shock claims he was told by God to torch his apartment with a marijuana blunt." Happens to the best of us....
Russell Westbrook Finds The National Anthem Boring
Russell Westbrook missed his first six shots of last night's NBA Finals Game 2, and the Thunder's slow start left them unable to overcome the Heat despite a thrilling finish. A bellwether for Westbrook's anemic first quarter performance came before the game, when during the national anthem he looke...
"No One Can Hear You Down There": A Roundup Of Days Three And Four Of The Jerry Sandusky Trial
The trial of former Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky began Monday morning in Bellefonte, Pa. For a review of what happened on Monday and Tuesday, click here and here. What follows is some of what's worth noting from Wednesday's and today's testimony:...
How Not To Be The Biggest Asshole In Media: 4 Lessons I Learned From Meeting Jay Mariotti And Reading His Awful Book
It's been almost two years since Jay Mariotti last wrote a sports column or appeared on ESPN. In that time, sports media's ur-controversialist—a pioneer of the sportswriters-being-dicks-on-television genre—has pleaded no contest to misdemeanor stalking and assault-related charges stemming from a hai...
Derek Lowe And Dusty Baker Are Having The Greatest Feud Ever
The exact origins are still unclear, but Indians pitcher Derek Lowe and Reds manager Dusty Baker have hated one another for quite some time. Who knew? The bad blood finally simmered over last night and into this morning, starting with a pitch Lowe believed was thrown toward him under orders from Bak...
The USTA Will Make The U.S. Open The Most Fogeyish Grand Slam Tournament
For years, the U.S. Open was the antidote to Wimbledon and Roland Garros' fussiness (the Australian was basically just irrelevant and a big Whatever). At the Open there were ungodly late matches, bigger stadiums, the made-for-TV scheduling bonanza in Super Saturday, loud music, longer commercial bre...
Accuser: Jerry Sandusky Called Himself The "Tickle Monster" Before Touching Him In Shower
We'll have a more comprehensive roundup of the last two days of testimony at the Jerry Sandusky trial a bit later, but here's something particularly icky that just couldn't wait: An alleged victim who took the stand this morning said Sandusky referred to himself as the "tickle monster" before huggin...
Who Will Win This Year's U.S. Open? Probably Someone You've Never Heard Of
Golf's major tournaments just haven't been that interesting lately. Over the last 17 majors, there have been 16 winners. In theory, this could be nice! A little diversity, a little surprise. But since Tiger's sabbatical, we've lost any hope of narrative. Individual sports thrive on story lines, riva...
So, Who Embarrasses Himself The Most In <em>Rock of Ages</em>?
The central appeal—or anti-appeal—of any Hollywood adaptation of a musical is not about the music or the choreography or the set pieces; it's about watching actors who don't usually sing, sing. One of the most fun aspects of Chicago was learning how charming and deft Richard Gere was; it was equally...
Professional Athlete Used Drug, Says Someone
Lance Armstrong, who you might remember as that guy who won a bunch of bike races while everyone said he was doping, is accused of winning a bunch of bike races while doping. The U.S. Anti-Doping Agency formally charged Armstrong over blood samples collected in 2009 and 2010 that are "fully consiste...