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This Evening: Proof That America Thinks Rex Ryan Is Smarter Than Tony La Russa
Your p.m. roundup for Oct. 20, the day we were depressed to learn what Mr. Belding was up to these days. H/T to Jon for the map. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Tony La Russa, Radical Conservative
The Classical launches in November, but the cruel folks behind it love baseball way too much to let the World Series pass without comment. Throughout the series, its writers will do a daily diary for Deadspin. Keep tabs on us @Classical....

Rick Pitino Uses Really Unfortunate Infidelity Metaphor
Rick Pitino's a New Yorker who made his bones in the Big East, so naturally he's upset about Syracuse's and Pittsburgh's ACC exodus. At Big East media days, he had some harsh words for the Judases:...

Buddy Ryan's "Polish Goal Line" Defense Was Against The Rules, And That Was The Point
This diagram is supposed to be from the Houston Oilers' playbook in 1993, the one season Buddy Ryan spent as the team's defensive coordinator. It depicts a special goal-line formation Ryan designed for the end of the half or the end of the game—situations in which there were "less than 15 seconds,"...

Duke Basketball Made More Insufferable With Auto-Tuned "Duke Worldwide" Music Video
Midnight Madness took place last weekend. Lots of people do insufferable things during Midnight Madness, and increasingly, they do those insufferable things on camera. This is no longer limited to a drunk sorority girl's iPhone filming from the upper deck, muffled by screams and excited shaking ha...

When I Dance They Call Me Kirilenko
CSKA Moscow, Andrei Kirilenko's new professional team in Russia, had its Media Day recently. Naturally, this involved the players breaking into three groups and dancing to Muzak and outdated pop songs on a stage in a giant banquet hall somewhere in Moscow....

Josh Hamilton Uses Just For Men To Make Sure His 'Stache Is Not Trash
We're slightly baffled by the box of Just For Men hair color spotted in Josh Hamilton's locker by reader Patrick. (For the record, mustache & beard, medium brown.) Hamilton is usually clean shaven, so perhaps it's one of the scads of promotional products sent unbidden to athletes every day? Unless.....

A Brief Dialogue Between Reporter And Athlete That Exposes The Fundamental Hypocrisy Of College Sports (Or Not)
This comes via the Seattle/Tacoma Fox affiliate. Keith Price is the quarterback for the Washington Huskies. Steve Kelley is a columnist for the Seattle Times. The exchange takes place in the aftermath of Washington's victory on Saturday over Colorado....

Someone Apparently Left These Penis- And Vagina-Shaped Cakes In Tony La Russa's Hotel Suite
You didn't think there was actually any merit in La Russa's reliever-overuse strategy, did you? No, these Cards, like other championship Cards, are made of the secret sauce. The grit. The phenomena. In 2006, it was David Eckstein. This year, it's homemade dong- and vagina-shaped cakes....

Legends Are Born In October, Then Pulled In The Fifth Inning For A Situational Lefty
Baseball Prospectus's Jay Jaffe has an NLCS stat that, if you're at all like me, will send you scurrying to the far reaches of the cable box on Wednesday in search of something that does not involve Tony La Russa. (I'm serious. I like baseball as much as the next guy, but I'm not wasting my precious...

Derrick Mason Says Those Five Games He Played For The Jets Never Actually Happened
From the New York Post: "To me, I went from Baltimore to here [the Texans]," Mason told The Post after the Ravens beat his new team 29-14. "I don't know what you're talking about when you mention that other place, but this place here I'm excited about."...

Why Yes, It Does Look Like A Clemson Coach Had A Michelle Obama Trapper Keeper On The Sidelines
Not sure who. Not sure why. Not sure how. But yes, tipster David S. — who wishes he'd turned his lamp off before photography commenced — is correct in thinking that's an image of First Lady Michelle Obama on an assistant Clemson University football coach's folder last night....

High School Football Player Dies After Sustaining Head Injury In Friday Night Game
"The father of Ridge Barden spoke with NewsChannel 9, remembering the varsity player who passed away after suffering head injuries during a Friday night football game. Saturday morning, he issued this statement: 'I have no words right now, my world has been devastated. But I want to say thank you t...

If Tom Verducci Thinks Justin Verlander Pitched Like Bob Gibson, Tom Verducci Has No Idea Who Bob Gibson Is
Look, please, for pity's sake: Justin Verlander pitched a mediocre game last night. Craggs already said his piece about the frantic efforts of the sports press corps to sculpt the pile of horse poop Verlander left on the pitcher's mound into a living, breathing unicorn. The relentlessly genial Joe P...

Oh, Great, Now Conference USA Is Merging With The Mountain West To Form A 22-Team Conference
Because why the fuck not, at this point? [MWC]...

This Photo Of Dominick Cruz's Surgically Repaired Hand Is HOLY SHIT LOOK HOW BIG AND GROSS IT LOOKS
Cruz, UFC's bantamweight champion, broke his right hand en route to earning a unanimous decision against Demetrious Johnson on Oct. 1. He finally got around to having surgery on the hand this week, and our stomachs are all grateful to him for posting what it looked like the following day on Twitter...

Justin Verlander "Gutted Out" "Gritty," "Gutsy" Performance Last Night, Writes Every Sportswriter Everywhere
Justin Verlander threw 133 pitches yesterday, which is a lot, and he gave up four runs on eight hits, which isn't so great. By most standards, he pitched a so-so game. By his standards, he was awful. But because the Tigers won a game they had to win, and because the prevailing narrative calls for Ju...

Waitress Says Minor Leaguer Groped Her, Actually Said "Do You Know Who I Am? I Play For The ValleyCats"
Right, maybe we have glorified athletes too much in this country when a Short-Season A ballplayer feels empowered enough to pull the old "Do you know who am?" That's what one member of the Tri-City ValleyCats (a Houston Astros affiliate) allegedly told a waitress after grabbing her chest and behind ...

Dustin Pedroia Says Yeah, Shit Happens, But That September 11 Yacht Party Was Amazing
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Regrets, Pryor's had a few....

Italian Club Invokes MLK In Letter Begging Obama To Send Kobe Over
Just over a week ago, the Italian basketball club Virtus Bologna reported that it was working "very intensely" with Kobe Bryant's representatives to bring the Lakers star overseas during the NBA lockout. There were multiple points at which it was "almost a done deal." This week, the almost-done-deal...