us Page 908 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

There's Always A Silver Lining To A Serena Williams Injury
"Despite the injury, Williams said she may now attend her celebrity friend Kim Kardashian's wedding this weekend to [Nets] basketball player Kris Humphries. 'Now that I have time I probably will,' said Williams. 'I hadn't thought about it.'" [Yahoo]...

Who Owns "Evil Empire"? The Yankees Launch A Proxy War For Control
Bridgehampton, N.Y., out on the East End of Long Island, is Red Sox territory. The bars along Main Street are decked out in red and will only show Yankees games if there's nothing else on. TVs receive the Hartford network affiliates. Carl Yastrzemski was born on a nearby potato farm and still holds ...

The Hidden Message Of This Girl In A Royals Visor Giving A Ball To Some Kid In A Jeter Shirtsey
Here's how MLB captioned the above video, which appears heartwarming and nurturing and fuzzy and cherubic: "Young Royals fan in pigtails gives foul ball to young Yankees fan not in pigtails."...

Vermont Discovers The Joy Of Low-Flying Basketball
Lots of young white men have been dunking basketballs in northern Vermont this summer. In about a decade of watching and playing a lot of high school basketball in the Green Mountain State, I saw a total of four successful dunks in live game play. One of those, I remember, came in the 2002 boys' s...

Your Preseason Monday Night Football Open Thread: Jets-Texans
It's the first Monday Nighter of the nascent NFL season. Oh, right: It doesn't count. But so what? It's football. If you're watching, consider this your invitation to chat about it in the comments....

Alabama Sorority Girl Rap Is One Of Those Videos That Thinks It Is A Parody But Is Actually Just Really Embarrassing
The Alabama Sorority Girl rap is not the Andover rap, folks. It's not fraught with a damn thing. There's half a level of irony at play here, tops....

"Bunny-Fucking," "Cockbrisket," And Serial Commas: A Copy Editor's Guide To Nicholson Baker's Filthy New Book
Below is the copy editor's style sheet for Nicholson Baker's House of Holes, which The New York Times has called both a "porny Alice in Wonderland" and a "hideously glorious filthfest" (Sam Lipsyte said the latter; Sam Lipsyte would know) and which accomplishes what all great modern literature aspir...

Monday Morning NASCAR Is The Best NASCAR
This is how we like our Sprint Cup: on a road course, and at a time we're supposed to be working....

Future First Man Marcus Bachmann Eating A Corn Dog? Future First Man Marcus Bachmann Eating A Corn Dog.
Michele Bachmann won the Ames, Iowa straw poll yesterday, which, according to Nate Silver, means she's the favorite to win the Iowa caucuses next year. And, if you follow this syllogism to its logical extreme, she's gonna win the Republican nomination and then the presidency. Or something....

Here's A Video About Hunting Mork Encino With A Pellet Pistol
Spoiler Alert: Mork "Hunting Bait" Encino survives this segment about his whole "you can hunt me for $10K (or $12K if you want me naked)" schtick. How can I be sure? Because he sent a private Twitter message this week about his talks to appear on the George Lopez Tonight show in the days before th...

At Last, Video Evidence That Mike Laga Really Did Hit A Foul Ball Out Of The Old Busch Stadium
This is great. On Sept. 15, 1986, Mike Laga, one of those light-hitting Cardinals players whom St. Louis fans are always applauding for moving the runners over, supposedly knocked a foul ball clear out of the old Busch Stadium. Because we have all lost our capacity for wonder, this feat has lately ...

It Sure Looks As If One Mexican Soccer Player Had Some Bowel Issues Tonight
Tonight's big winner in the US/Mexico friendly in Philadelphia? Well, nobody. The match ended in a draw. Tonight's big loser? No. 9 on the Mexican side, who is probably wishing that they'd gone with the white shirt/green shorts kit....

Here's Video Of Oribe Peralta's Goal That Has Mexico Leading The US At Halftime
In the 17th minute, with the son of the former USMNT coach marking him, Mexico forward Oribe Peralta capitalized on a cross from Andres Guardado. Pretty goal. The U.S. has yet to score its new coach. Second half about to begin....

Your Jurgen Klinsmann USMNT Debut Open Thread
Tonight marks the official Ascension of Jurgen Klinsmann to the helm of a U.S. Men's National Team struggling to find itself....

This Evening: Hope Solo, In A Bathrobe, In A Water Fountain
Your p.m. roundup for Aug. 10, the day we wish we had never heard of subway parties. Photo via @hopesolo, who's apparently posing nude for ESPN The Magazine's "Body Issue." Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

This Evening: From Russia With Love Dolls
Your p.m. roundup for Aug. 9, the day we were priced out of the market for an aluminum bat. Photo via EnglishRussia.com. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Jurgen Klinsmann Doesn't Think The United States Will Win A World Cup Anytime Soon
New U.S. men's soccer coach Jurgen Klinsmann sat down on Sunday for his "first private interview" with SI's Grant Wahl the other day. The heavens shook. Stigmata were touched. Then Wahl began asking several of the standard questions new American soccer coaches always get asked. The most standard of ...

Australian Sports Are Designed For Incredible Catches
That's David Mead of the Gold Coast Titans with the incredible fingertip grab and score from this weekend's NRL action. Australians seem obsessed with anointing highlights the "try of the year" , but apparently rugby league is a totally different sport from Aussie Rules Football, so Mead can have ...

Here's Video Of A Smooth Assist In A German Soccer Match
Borussia Dortmund faced Hamburg to start their respective Bundesliga seasons yesterday, which you probably already knew. The former won the match 3-1, the highlight of which was Robert Lewandowski's assist on Mario Götze's give-and-go goal in the 29th minute....

Someone Took The Time To Write About How The Credit Downgrade Could Affect The NHL
Some of you math-y sporty types out there have probably wondered what Standard & Poor's downgraded rating on U.S. government debt means for the world of athletics....