us Page 919 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Osama Bin Laden Is Dead, Professional Wrestler Declares In Most American Video Ever
And then John Cena holds up his championship belt, and "The Stars and Stripes Forever" starts playing over the speakers. Everything about this is perfect, right down to the guy shouting, "We won." [via @SherwoodStrauss]...
Watch Santa Claus Steal A Ball From A Young Fan At Today's A's/Rangers Game Before MLB Takes The Video Down
Tipster R.R. titled this video, "You're an arse if... or... how Santa steals baseballs from kids during his off-season." Early viewers should feel free to comment with vivid descriptions so Craggs and his Crayolas'll have something to work with on the morrow....
Before Returning To Lockout Mode, Every NFL Franchise Decided Against Drafting A Bone-Cancer Survivor
Your morning roundup for May 1, the day after Seth Meyers said Weekend Update stuff to people's faces....
Young Man Wants You To Realize The Grizzlies Beating The San Antonio Spurs Is A Really Big Deal
Your morning roundup for April 30, the day we deal with Ouzo hangovers from George Kalpaxis and Julie Herrmannsdoerfer's lovely wedding....
NFL Draft Pundit @I_Just_Came Bathes In, Retreats From The Spotlight
A few of you have sent us, with apparent rage and glee, this screenshot of last night's draft coverage on NFL Network. What foolishness, you screamed, that the NFL's own broadcast arm would allow a Twitterer with such a handle onto its coverage!...
Year Of The Pitcher Dies Premature Death, Aged 29 Days
What some were already calling the second straight "Year of the Pitcher" in baseball came to an abrupt end yesterday, as bats exploded into craziness around MLB....
Here's Video Proving An Australian Rugby Player Didn't Stick His Fingers In His Cousin's Ass
Jeremy Smith and Kalifa Faifai Loa are cousins. They also both play rugby in Australia. During a recent Cronulla/North Queensland match, Faifai Loa was on the ground with Smith atop him. That much is clear. Here's what isn't clear: Whether Smith slid his fingers up his cousin's ass....
Here's Video Of That Mile-Wide Tornado Deciding, On A Whim, To Spare Alabama's Bryant-Denny Stadium
Let Tuscaloosa resident Phil Owen describe the damage that the mile-wide twister captured in this video wrought upon Alabama today:...
Livan Hernandez Is Wrapped Up In Puerto Rican Drug Dealer's Octopus Tentacles, Claims Awesome Graphic
Nationals pitcher and '97 World Series MVP Livan Hernandez is implicated in a case involving Puerto Rican drug kingpin Angel Ayala Vázquez (alternate titles: "Angelo Millones," "El Buster"). But he's not alone: El Vocero handily details all nine men compromised by the lawsuit and entangled in "los t...
Real Salt Lake's Robbie Russell Scored 1590 On His SATs, Has Mother Who Was Hit By Shrapnel
Meet bearded on-field Einstein and armed insurrection survivor Robbie Russell. He plays for Real Salt Lake, which takes on Monterrey tonight for the CONCACAF Champions League title. The winner will be crowned the best club team in the region and advance to the FIFA Club World Cup, where Robbie Russe...
Arcade Fire Performs At Cubs Game; Fans Politely Pretend To Know Who They Are
In an epic collision of hipster idolatry and baseball, two members of the Montreal-based indie band Arcade Fire led "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" during the seventh inning stretch at Wrigley Field this weekend....
Here's What Confused NFL Players Are Doing This Morning
Showing up to work out, some of them. Except not really working out. And the ones that arrived are either union guys checking the lay of the land, or players openly concerned about their workout bonuses. Mostly, players walked in, hung around for a couple of minutes then went home. Everyone's pretty...
Here's Your Tony LaRussa Eye Update
The St. Louis Cardinals bullpen gave up three runs in the eighth — accompanied by a David Freese error — in yesterday's 5-3 loss to Cincinnati. Whatever. Let's see what LaRussa's eye looked like....
Doctor Writes That Pinkeye Is Most Certainly Not To Blame For Tony LaRussa's Frightening Face
Here's an email which came in response to Thursday night's post about the state of St. Louis Cardinals manager Tony LaRussa's mug....
No One's Going To Baseball Games, But Here's Why MLB Isn't Concerned
Baseball Prospectus's Neil DeMause noticed recently, as had we and others, that something weird is going on with baseball attendance this season....
Naked Man Invades Home, Steals Prized Kansas Basketball Outfit For Cover
Donald Watson of Springfield, Mo. was charged yesterday for invading a home while naked. While he was there, he donned a former tenant's beloved Kansas basketball outfit and then took off on a police chase; he was ultimately taken into custody after "a run-in with a police dog."...
Now, Tony LaRussa Is Ugly On The Outside, Too
The 2011 St. Louis Cardinals Curse has now manifested itself as a physical deformity, albeit one of a temporary nature. Take a good hard look at manager Tony LaRussa's face. Look deep into his open eye, but avoid gazing into the one that's caulked shut with conjunctivitis. Listen as he tells you ho...
The Time The KKK Politely Asked For A "Klan Day" At The Reds' Ballpark
These four letters procured by Deadspin's house MLB archivist, Pete Nash, show that the Ku Klux Klan wrote polite letters and were extremely generous about their flower boquets. At least that was the case in 1924. ...
This Russell Westbrook Play Is Everything That's Great About The Thunder
One fundamental tenet of basketball is that the best way to break a press is to not let the ball hit the floor. Another fundamental tenet is that, when you have a point guard like Russell Westbrook, you get the hell out of the way....
Phil Jackson's Zenergy Lulled At Least One Person To Sleep In L.A. Last Night
Your morning roundup for April 21, the day after McDonald's "National Hiring Day" in Cleveland got real. Real violent. Like, spitting in faces and hitting people with cars violent....