v Page 2350 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Remember When A Duke Alum Wrote This Very Bad Letter To Elton Brand?
Today is a nice day for Duke fans. The Deadspin staff is not unmoved by this, so we thought we might share one of our favorite memories involving a Duke player. ...
Aaron Harang's Eyes Implanted Into Various MLB Players' Faces
Deadspin readers have overwhelmingly demanded to know what it would look like if various major leaguers had pitcher Aaron Harang’s distinctive eyes. In the interest of service to you, the reader, we present various major leaguers with Aaron Harang’s distinctive eyes. ...
Conan O'Brien Attempts To Improve UC Irvine's Anteater Mascot
Though we enjoy UC Irvine’s Peter the Anteater, Conan O’Brien believed the mascot could suck less—it can’t even do real pushups since the nose gets in the way—so he went to the school and provided some suggestions for a better one....
So, Who Was That Little Guy Who Saved Duke Last Night?
There is something undeniably Duke about a team that was carried all year by star freshmen Jahlil Okafor, Tyus Jones, and Justise Winslow having its championship season saved by another freshman named Grayson. There was Grayson Allen, storming out of the anonymity that comes with a season full of DN...
Duke Beats Wisconsin For Fifth National Title
We got a competitive national championship game, but not the one that we expected. In Jahlil Okafor and Justise Winslow, Duke has two players that are expected to go in the top 5 of the upcoming draft. But neither could stay out of foul trouble—they both finished the game with four—and seven minute...
UFC Hires Former IRS Shitbag, Presumably To Oppress Its Athletes
The UFC, lately embarrassed by its fighters failing a lot of drug tests, has hired shitbag/former IRS agent Jeff Novitzky, best known as beloved baseball legend Barry Bonds’s persecutor, to be its “Vice President of Athlete Health and Performance.” This seems like a high-falutin’ and more than faint...
Proof That Major League Baseball Has a Drug Testing Program
I was surprised to read that Minnesota Twins pitcher Ervin Santana was served an 80-game suspension for using the PED Stanozolol, because I didn't know Major League Baseball had a drug testing program. ...
DA: NFL, Union Can See Pictures From Greg Hardy Case, Nobody Else Can
The Mecklenburg district attorney has allowed the NFL and the NFL Players Association to view seven photographs it wanted to see from Greg Hardy’s domestic violence case. What exactly is shown in the seven photographs isn’t made clear in the press release, but the announcement is clear on who won’t ...
Matt Stafford Traveled Through Time To 2005 And Got Married
Lions quarterback Matt Stafford got married over the weekend—congratulations to the happy couple!—and based on pictures that were taken at the event, it appears that he and his wedding party managed to travel through time and hold the ceremony in 2005, the last time trucker hats were a thing....
How To Drive An Illegal-Ass Car For Years Without Getting Busted
So, maybe your car isn't necessarily legal to drive. You've got expired tags, an expired inspection sticker, and even an expired property tax sticker. Maybe it's been that way for more than a year. And considering your daily commute is an hour each way, in traffic, on major highways, you can practic...
A Troubling Statistical Conundrum, From A Burger King Baseball In 1996
Reader Sully from Holy Cross wrote in this weekend with a question. ...
Ref Cancels Penalty, Brings Back Red Carded Player After Change Of Mind
This whole situation is pretty nutty, so we're going to have to get into this. The short version is, referees getting calls right is good, but not after they've already made a wrong call and definitely not when it's thanks to an assistant doing something he shouldn't....
Joakim Noah Will Always Be There To Shit-Talk LeBron James
One of the most endearing things about Joakim Noah is his continued insistence on just not having it with LeBron James and whatever team James happens to be on. There was the time he called out James for his dancing in the middle of a game, the time he called the Heat “Hollywood as hell,” and there...
Last Night's <i>Mad Men</i>, With The Dialogue Removed
Mad Men's final season began last night (technically, this is part two of the final season, but nobody really buys that), and while the visuals (Roger's mustache! Don's lonely apartment!) and Matthew Weiner's dialogue tend to get most of the attention from critics and viewers alike, there's a grea...
Ryan Reaves Pulls Out His Own Tooth
Blues winger Ryan Reaves performed a little dental self-surgery on the bench last night, pulling out a loosened tooth after getting mushed into the glass by Brent Seabrook. After he finished his shift, of course....
Braves Trade Craig Kimbrel And Melvin Upton Jr. To The Padres
The Atlanta Braves have traded closer Craig Kimbrel and outfielder Melvin Upton Jr. to the San Diego Padres, as first reported by FanGraphs’ Kiley McDaniel. ...
Shaun Livingston Swings His Arm Into Dirk Nowitzki's Junk
Hmmm. Shaun Livingston is not someone you typically associate with goonish behavior, but here’s Livingston taking a swing at Dirk Nowitzki’s brat and two veg during the Mavs-Warriors game Saturday night. ...
The Many Emotions Of Vince Neil, Professional Football Team Owner
Mötley Crüe frontman Vince Neil owns an Arena Football League franchise, and his Las Vegas Outlaws earned their first win ever with a 70-53 victory against Arizona last night. ESPN’s cameras couldn’t keep away from ol’ Vince, and here’s a supercut of his emotions as the game progressed—set to the ...
Badgers Knock Off Previously Undefeated Wildcats, Championship Is Set
Wisconsin did it!...
Duke Just Routed Michigan State, So Let's Re-live Coach K On His Stool
Well, that kind of sucked. ...