v Page 2398 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Melvin Gordon Could Break The Heisman's Quarterback Streak
Melvin Gordon's record-breaking shitstomping of Nebraska made it clear this season is the best chance a running back has had at the Heisman in years. Gordon's only the second player to reach 1,900 yards through 10 games since 2000. And his yards per attempt are 2.8 yards better than the other back t...
Lindsey Vonn Is Just As Dumb And Humorless As Her Boyfriend Tiger Woods
Yesterday at The Players' Tribune, "Tiger Woods" "wrote" the dumbest fucking thing in response to a satirical, obviously fake piece that ran in a recent issue of Golf Digest. All Woods's blockheaded complaint did was alert the world to how much of a dense, robotic dolt he is, and now his girlfriend,...
Emmanuel Sanders Partied In Heaven With All The Ladies
After getting absolutely crushed on a scary play during Sunday's game against the Rams, Broncos wide receiver Emmanuel Sanders fell victim to a Wikipedia prankster who edited the page to say that Sanders had died. The wideout caught wind of this, and he responded with a well-struck "Hi haters."...
Where Were You For "Malice At The Palace?"
It was 10 years ago tonight that the Pacers and Pistons came to blows, sparking the strangest, scariest, and still, today, the most improbable NBA happening of our lives. Players fighting fans in the stands; fans fighting players on the court. It was unforgettable....
Fan Throws Jersey Onto Ice As Maple Leafs Get Blasted 9-2
The Toronto Maple Leafs got absolutely shellacked at home tonight, giving up five third-period goals to the Predators en route to a 9-2 loss. Leafs fans were so mad that one of them tossed their jersey onto the ice late in the third period: ...
Angry Ram Makes Mincemeat Out Of Punching Bag
The first 1:45 of this video is solid YouTube material. An angry ram (named, appropriately, Angry Ram) repeatedly ramming a punching bag is pretty entertaining to watch. But then Angry Ram absolutely murders the punching bag and makes you realize you had just been watching Mildly Unhappy Ram, not ...
Josh Gordon
Josh Gordon's back! Will he immediately pick up where he left off? That'd be nice. He doesn't use an extensive route tree, but he doesn't really need to with his speed. This assumes he's stayed conditioned throughout his suspension. Anyway, it's good to have him back....
This Family Is The Worst Thing On Facebook
Perhaps you have had occasion to view a YouTube song video created by a group of healthy-looking white people named "The Holderness Family." Perhaps it was the one in which they perform a version of Snoop Dogg's classic "Gin and Juice" song, fitted to Halloween, titled "Kin and Moose."...
Where Every NBA Team Takes (And Gives Up) Shots
Here's a chart by our friend Ed Kupfer, who does analytics for the Houston Rockets, showing the distribution by percent of every NBA team's offensive and defensive field goals. If you take a second blink through the information overload, it's a shorthand Rosetta Stone for what's going on in the NBA....
NFL Suspends Adrian Peterson For The Rest Of The Season
Amid a weeks-long battle over Adrian Peterson's potential reinstatement, the NFL has decided to push the issue to its end game. The league announced today that Peterson will be suspended indefinitely and without pay—a punishment the NFLPA has already said it will appeal on his behalf....
ESPN Randomly Cuts To Lisa Salters Shouting "WOOOO" At Le'Veon Bell
We'd love to know the context of this, but here's Lisa Salters "WOOOO"-ing at Le'Veon Bell, presumably after finishing her post-game interview with him; the shot randomly appeared in the middle of the opening segment of tonight's SportsCenter, and it's pretty funny to watch on repeat:...
Kevin Love Has No Idea What He's Doing, Gets Rebound Anyway
You can thank Nate Robinson's lack of forethought for this one. But what is Kevin Love doing?...
The Nuggets Front Office Literally Doesn't Know How To Do Its Job
According to Kevin Arnovitz's motherlode on the Nuggets' front office, there's a good chance you know every bit as much about how an NBA contract works as the guys working there. ...
Police: Drunk Jaguars Player Tried To Use Bubble Gum As Money
Dwayne Gratz had a weird Saturday night. Or maybe Sunday morning. At 5:53 a.m. on Sunday, Miami beach police arrested the Jaguars cornerback and cited him for disorderly intoxication and trespassing after trying to pay for items at a store with bubble gum....
The Best NBA Players Win 50 Or More Games By Their Third Year
Outside of the occasional planetary destruction of a Beast Mode run or five-inning save in Game 7, football and baseball don't really lend themselves to pinning a team's wins and losses on a single player. But basketball is a little different. Quarterbacks don't play defense and baseball actually is...
Two Tennessee Football Players Being Investigated On Rape Charges
Senior All-SEC linebacker A.J. Johnson and sophomore defensive back Michael Williams are under investigation by Knoxville police for two alleged sexual assaults that happened after this weekend's home game against Kentucky, according to the Tennessean....
My Kid’s Insane List Of Reasons To Be Thankful, Annotated
I have an 8-year-old who has something of an overactive imagination, which is a good thing for a child to have, in theory. There are entire 10,000-word think pieces and scientific studies now about how all playgrounds should be replaced with an open field and a giant barrel of sticks so that kids...
Braves Trade Jason Heyward To The Cardinals
The St. Louis Cardinals announced today that they have traded pitchers Shelby Miller and Tyrell Jenkins to the Atlanta Braves in exchange for outfielder Jason Heyward and pitcher Jordan Walden. ...
Despots, Serial Killers, And Dick Jokes: <em>Football Manager</em>'s Banned Names
From the sheer number of funny names assigned to the randomly generated players in Football Manager, you may have assumed there is no filter on name combinations. And while you may have seen a "Willy Pinas" or two, you haven't seen a "Adolf Hitler," "Tim McVeigh," or a "Dick Licka" for a good reas...
Kevin Hart Advises Jameis Winston: "You Need To Stop Doing Dumb Shit"
The omnipresent matter known as Kevin Hart had a show planned at Florida State over the weekend, so he took the opportunity to visit the Seminoles' locker room. In a now-deleted Instagram that TMZ saved, Hart gives some advice to quarterback Jameis Winston: "You need to stop doing dumb shit." He a...