v Page 2404 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Leah Still Reminds Us What A Bullshit Deal Childhood Cancer Is
The NFL Network (and, evidently, enormous caterpillars with human faces) have identified the sugary-awful emotional center of tonight's battle of Ohio: a 4-year-old named Leah Still, the daughter of Bengals defensive tackle Devon Still. She's attending the Browns-Bengals game tonight. It's t...

Ravens GM Testimony: Ray Rice Told Goodell He Hit Fiancée In Elevator
The NFLPA's push to reinstate Ray Rice could finally give us definitive answers on how royally Roger Goodell fucked up when handling Rice's domestic violence case. ...

Hey, Did You Know Bill Simmons And Ellen DeGeneres Have The Same Eyes?
From reader Kevin:...

AHL Changes Rules To Stop Goalies From Flipping Their Own Nets
On Sunday, Bridgeport Sound Tigers goalie David Leggio escaped a 2-on-0 breakaway by toppling his own net, happily opting to face (and stopping) a penalty shot. Terrified that the move would inspire other netminders, the AHL has enacted a rule change....

Columbia Basketball Player Drops Out Of College To Keep His Eligibility
Alex Rosenberg has withdrawn from Columbia University after suffering a foot injury that could keep him out more than two months, because it's the only way to insure he'll get to play a full senior season. Because amateur sports is totally about the education....

Michael Beasley Reduced To Status As Kevin Durant Flunky
At one point early on in The Offseason: Kevin Durant, that HBO reality show aimed at getting its star better endorsement deals, walking brand Kevin Durant flies some of his buddies out to Los Angeles, where they intend to stay for the summer. We're introduced to Childhood Friend Cliff Dixon, Manager...

Report: LeBron And Kyrie Irving Exchanged Words After Loss
The Cavaliers are off to sluggish start, sitting at 1-3 after dropping last night's game to Gordon Hayward and the Jazz. They lost Tuesday's game agains the Blazers by 19 points, and ESPN's Brian Windhorst is reporting that Kyrie Irving and LeBron James got into a "healthy" discussion after that gam...

<em>El Mariachi</em> Is A Feast Of Bloody Micro-Budget Silliness
There's a moment early in El Mariachi, the micro-budget 1992 movie that introduced Robert Rodriguez to the world, where our hero, an unnamed wandering musician, asks a bartender if he can work there, singing for tips. The asshole bartender laughs in his face and says that he'd never pay one guy ...

Molly Shattuck Allowed Teen To "Touch Her Vagina With Penis": Indictment
We got a copy of the unsealed grand jury indictment against former Baltimore Ravens cheerleader Molly Shattuck, 47, who is accused of raping a 15-year-old boy. What the indictment lacks in character development and detail it makes up for in dispassionately clinical description of sexual maneuver...

Violence Is Currency: A Pacifist Ex-Con's Guide To Prison Weaponry
The most common weapon inside is simply a can top. Pulled off a tin of beans and folded over, it doesn't even need to be sharpened to leave a jagged scar. A shank, also known as a shiv, is not for cutting but for stabbing. It's called a "gun" in jailhouse vernacular, and the most valuable kind i...

Brett Favre Was The Third Choice For <em>There's Something About Mary</em>
Brett Favre's memorable cameo in There's Something About Mary wouldn't have happened if the Farrelly Brothers had gotten their way (and if Drew Bledsoe hadn't injured a woman stage-diving at an Everclear concert)....

Allen Iverson Is Still Talking About Practice
Allen Iverson is coaching a celebrity basketball game in the Philippines, and during his media session yesterday, he was asked if he'd ever want to return to the NBA as a coach. His response was excellent:...

Report: NFL Rejected Immediate Reinstatement For Adrian Peterson
After reaching a plea agreement to avoid trial on charges related to the alleged abuse of his four-year-old son, Adrian Peterson had hoped to return to the Minnesota Vikings this week. But the NFL has reportedly shut that idea down, saying it needs more time to make its decision....

Gordon Hayward Locks Up LeBron, Nails Game Winner
Things aren't getting any better for LeBron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers. A night after James failed to score in the second half of a blowout loss against the Trail Blazers, they were undone in Utah by this Gordon Hayward game winner. James was guarding Hayward initially, but was felled by a De...

Relegation-Bound Team Willing To Consider Thinking About Moyes
When we last touched base with disgraced former manager David Moyes, he impressed us with both his shocking lack of foresight and his optimism at getting a good new gig sometime soon. Well, Real Sociedad may not be in the Champions League, and they might be in the early stages of a relegation battle...

Here's Ex-NFL Cheerleader (And Accused Rapist) Molly Shattuck's Mugshot
Former Baltimore Ravens cheerleader Molly Shattuck turned herself in at Sussex County Superior Court earlier today after being indicted on charges of raping a 15-year-old boy multiple times. There's her mugshot, via the Baltimore Sun....

The Chiefs' Travis Kelce Might Be The Next Revolutionary Tight End
The best NFL offenses are lousy with new-breed tight ends—guys like Rob Gronkowski, Julius Thomas, and Jimmy Graham, the dudes who bust up defenses with an unfair blend of size, speed, and pass-catching ability. And while you can't really tell from the raw numbers, Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce is...

Sean Avery's Theater Debut Derailed By Pizza-Related Rehearsal Meltdown
That's a good headline. Really tells a story. Are you sure you even want the details, or should we just leave it at that?...
![Zosia Mamet's 2010 Rap Video Is Fake Bullshit [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/mkmxdolt2mivucjdypya.gif)
Zosia Mamet's 2010 Rap Video Is Fake Bullshit [UPDATE]
Update: Like everything else in this godforsaken world, this is nothing but a crummy commercial. First, here's the tip we received a couple days ago from a "Donald Duck" at [email protected]:...