v Page 2980 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Vancouver Sun Columnist Has Transparent Crush On Sedin Twins
Maybe they do things weird up there, but this story (headline: "Daniel cements his Hart throb status"), by the Sun's Cam Cole, seems an unlikely way to tell Canuck fans that their team's top scorer is an MVP finalist....

Frank McCourt Is Basically Charlie Sheen, At This Point
Kind-of Dodgers owner Frank McCourt toured cable television yesterday, pleading his case. Here are some of the things he said. They are totally not the ramblings of a man who has lost all money and control....

Soccer Team Signs One-Year-Old After Audition Goes Viral
Maybe you're one of the three-plus million folks who saw Baerke van der Meij putting away his toys with some well-placed boots. Adorable, right? Dutch Eredivise side VVV saw it too, and saw a future strike....

The Bears Forgot To Report Their Draft-Day Trade, So It Never Went Through
Not a huge fuckup, as far as draft-day fuckups go, not like a Christian Ponder-level fuckup, but a fuckup nonetheless. When time ran out on Baltimore's 26th round pick, and the Chiefs leapfrogged them in the order, everyone assumed it was the Ravens that dropped the ball. But no, it was Jerry Angelo...

As Good As It Feels, Coaches Probably Shouldn't Hit Reporters
Randers FC had a rough season, just barely escaping being relegated from the Danish Superliga. So it's inevitable that the media wanted to talk to manager Ove Christensen, and also inevitable that Christensen wouldn't want to talk....

Deion Sanders May Have Found A New Football-Playing Host Upon Which He Can Attach
Your morning roundup for April 29, the day "special cookies" in zip-lock freezer bags got real....

How an Imperfect Player Became the Perfect <em>Madden</em> Cover Pick
He's the first Madden cover star from a losing team. The first with no Pro Bowl appearances at the time of his selection. He led NFL running backs in one statistical category last year - fumbles.… [Kotaku] ...

Here's Video Proving An Australian Rugby Player Didn't Stick His Fingers In His Cousin's Ass
Jeremy Smith and Kalifa Faifai Loa are cousins. They also both play rugby in Australia. During a recent Cronulla/North Queensland match, Faifai Loa was on the ground with Smith atop him. That much is clear. Here's what isn't clear: Whether Smith slid his fingers up his cousin's ass....

We Are All Dave McKenna LXXXIII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit realizes it has less balls than a castrato....

How Kevin Durant's Jump Shot Knocked Denver Out Of The Playoffs
Kevin Durant, regular-Joe wunderkind, came down the court and drilled a three-pointer from the top of the key with about 3:30 remaining in last night's Game 5 between Oklahoma City and Denver. Then, on his own, the third-year forward personally outscored Denver 14-6, including his team's final nin...

God's Gift Commits To St. John's
St. John's has secured a commitment from God's Gift Achiuwa, a juco All-American. Steve Lavin now has the third-ranked recruiting class for 2011. Who would win in a name-off: God's Gift or Godspower? [ESPN]...

John Daly, Marriage Expert, Thinks Tiger Wasn't Getting Enough Sex In His
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: a man with four ex-wives dispenses advice on happy golf marriages....

Gloria Allred Had A Rather Erotic Press Conference Yesterday (Mildly NSFW)
Gloria Allred held one of her public shaming events yesterday. She brought a family of four to her Los Angeles office to call out Roger McDowell, the Atlanta Braves pitching coach, for using "homophobic words and sexually suggestive vulgar behavior" in the presence of children:...

Armor-Clad Waterskiing Samurai Declares War On Stupid Fish
The silver carp has rapidly become the official fish of Deadspin. (Take that, sunfish fanboys.) They've endeared themselves to us by leaping from the water at the sound of a motor, leading them to beach themselves by the dozen or smack a lady in the face....

Jack Edwards's Baffling Pro-Boston, Anti-Royalty Rant
Noted homer Jack Edwards probably couldn't sleep last night after his beloved Bruins came back to oust the Canadiens in 7 games. But before tossing and turning with visions of Jozef Stümpel dancing in his head, he had some parting words on the NESN postgame show....

Here's A Beautiful Animation Of The First Of Five El Clásicos This Year
Your morning roundup for April 28, the day we learn that God's advice for ending a 46-day beer-only fast is with a bacon smoothie, forever and ever, Amen....

Here's Video Of That Mile-Wide Tornado Deciding, On A Whim, To Spare Alabama's Bryant-Denny Stadium
Let Tuscaloosa resident Phil Owen describe the damage that the mile-wide twister captured in this video wrought upon Alabama today:...

We Are All Dave McKenna LXXXII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit takes a dirt nap....

Livan Hernandez Is Wrapped Up In Puerto Rican Drug Dealer's Octopus Tentacles, Claims Awesome Graphic
Nationals pitcher and '97 World Series MVP Livan Hernandez is implicated in a case involving Puerto Rican drug kingpin Angel Ayala Vázquez (alternate titles: "Angelo Millones," "El Buster"). But he's not alone: El Vocero handily details all nine men compromised by the lawsuit and entangled in "los t...

"People Are Going To Start Punching Babies": Among The Almost-Thugs In Vancouver
VANCOUVER, British Columbia — Watching Canucks fans raise hell last night in downtown Vancouver reminded me of the guys who get paternity-tested on Maury, learn they're not the father and launch into the Ickey Shuffle. Some people are so beat-down that mere relief tastes like a miracle. The Canucks ...