v Page 2984 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Jon Barry Can't Stop Giggling At Derrick Rose
Dan Shulman and Jon Barry tried their damndest to properly announce the Bulls-Pacers game on Saturday, but Derrick Rose made it a difficult task. We can't really blame them. Rose had 39 points in Chicago's 104-99 win, and his baskets were, throughout, brilliant. Brilliant enough to make Barry gigg...

Victor Ortiz Versus Andre Berto Round Six: A Lesson In Gameness
Welterweights Victor Ortiz and Andre Berto put it down on Saturday night for the WBC title. It was the kind of fight where you catch yourself yelling at the TV, then step back and marvel that you're yelling at the TV while watching boxing, which gives you flashbacks to when you used to do that sor...

Sean Avery Leaning On His Own Stick Until It Breaks Is Probably A Metaphor For Something
Your morning roundup for April 18, the day a famous surgeon resigned for suggesting that unprotected sex was "a better gift for [Valentine's] day than chocolates."...

Let's Watch The Brawl That Added To The Widespread "Mayhem" At Rutgers U This Weekend
Shit got real at Rutgersfest 2011 to the point where the folks over at Bob's Blitz declared the shootings and evacuations "helped transform New Brunswick into Eastern Libya."...

We Are All Dave McKenna LXXII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit is bludgeoned to death....

Here's Video Of The Nick Saban Statue Descending "From The Clouds Of Heaven"
Not one to be outdone by statue-unveiling Florida and/or statue-announcing Auburn, the Crimson Tide made a nine-foot statue of Nick Saban available for everyone in Tuscaloosa to see yesterday....

Colin Cowherd Will Have You Know His Script Can Get Worse By The Hour
Back in February, we brought you the Awful Pilot for Colin Cowherd's Awful TV Show. It was doubly awful. Read it here if you're so inclined....

There Are No Winners In Louisiana Jello Wrestling, Only Screams And Suggestive Techniques
People say we don't offer enough coverage of wrestling, the caveat being that the dearth applies to wrestlers not yet dead. Fair enough....

We Are All Dave McKenna LXXI
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit is reduced to nothingness....

Man Uses A Chipper Jones Home Run As Excuse To Get To Second Base
As several photo-tipsters have dutifully shared, the first inning of today's Mets/Braves game included a fourbagger by Chipper Jones. The cameras then captured this gentleman out in the left-field stands getting a handful of love. Offered tipster Dallas, "Although it is not quite to the extent of t...

The NBA And NHL Playoffs Are Fine And All, But The Rest Of The World Is Watching El Clasico Open Thread
Big game's about to start. (GolTV's pregame show starts at 3 p.m. eastern; game itself an hour later). FC Barcelona's beaten up enough on defense to give Real Madrid a legitimate shot at avenging their 5-0 throttling from earlier in the season....

Here's Video Of A Kevin Durant Fan Getting "Thunder" Tattooed On Her Thigh
Thanks to Royce from DailyThunder.com for sharing what he deemed "Potentially insane female Thunder fan gets massive tattoo on her thigh." When the team moves back to Seattle, Royce will have used one word too many and Priscilla, well, Priscilla seems like she'll be just fine with it anyway....

Your NBA Playoffs Open Thread
The NBA Playoffs start with four games on today's schedule. Pacers vs. Bulls at 1 p.m. Sixers at Heat at 3:30 p.m. Hawks at the Magic at 7 p.m. Blazers at Mavs at 9:30 p.m. Throw all the octopi you want; it's fantastic. Except in Orlando, where they're already scared Dwight Howard might take his ta...

Picture Of An Engineering Student In Bikini Gets College Race-Car Team Suspended From Competition
Oh, the crazy stuff that goes on at the University of Waterloo's Student Design Center. As part of its preparations for an international competition in Michigan, the Canadian school's Formula SAE race-car-building team decided to conduct a photo shoot....

The Tax Man's Charges Against Lenny Dykstra Actually Involve A Kitchen Sink
Your morning roundup for April 16, the day Ralphie turns 40, making a whole lot of people question their very mortality, their confidence as fra-gee-lay as a leglamp....

We Are All Dave McKenna LXX
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Daniel Snyder's dumbass libel suit is reduced to powder and not the fun kind (for Daniel Snyder)....

Josh Elliott Reluctantly Submits To An Interview With Us Before His Last Day At ESPN
Some of you may know Josh Elliott as the soon-to-be former co-anchor of ESPN's morning "SportsCenter". Some of you may not know him at all. If you were not familiar with his work along side Hannah Storm, you missed out. We had no idea he read our site. We really appreciate him taking the time on his...

Will The NBA Be Fined For Breaking Its Own Rules In Fining Kobe Bryant?
David Stern hit Kobe Bryant with a $100,000 fine on Wednesday after Bryant called a referee a "fucking faggot" the night prior. Jeremy Singer-Vine at Slate determined that Kobe's fine is unprecedented in NBA history. In fact, it probably violates the NBA's own constitution:...

LeBron James And Erik Spoelstra Enter Honeymoon Phase Just In Time For The Playoffs
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: LeBron James and Coach Spoelstra are totally crushing....

Reader Writes In About "Heinous," Camel-Toe-Laden Fishing Program; We Fix It
Matthew writes in, and we solve the problem....