van Page 116 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Weak Grounder To Second Starts Nutso Minor League Brawl
Your gladiators: the Spokane Indians and Vancouver Canadian, Class A affiliates of the Rangers and Blue Jays respectively. Your catalyst: I dunno, probably someone saying something about someone's momma....

The First Casualty Of Dan Snyder's Dumbass Libel Suit Might Be Dan Snyder's Dumbass Lawyer
Failed journalist and wretched lawyer Dave Donovan announced today that he's leaving his job as Chief Operating Officer of the Redskins to return to the law firm whence he came (and where, ostensibly, lawyers can actually convince clients not to file dumbass lawsuits). Donovan attributes his decisio...

He Apologized For His Unacceptable Behavior!
"Hey everyone. I'm taking this time to apologize for my involvement with the post game riots after the Bruins defeated the Canucks to take the Stanley Cup. My involvement was a bad decision I made in the heat of the moment and it something that i feel a profound sense of regret towards. I would li...

Here's A Foul On A Mexican Player That Involves "El Pene"
In yesterday's Chile-Mexico Copa America match, chileno Gary Medel got a hold of Giovani Dos Santos and did not let go until the man went down. Chile went on to win, 2-1, and will play Uruguay on Friday. May they leave los penes en paz....

Where In The World Is Jaromir Jagr?
No one knows where Jaromir Jagr, 39, the once-mulleted, twice-Stanley-Cup-champion is. (Jagr's planning on returning to the NHL after a three-year absence, and his agent told us to expect a decision soon.) But people have theories....

The Comeback Pig: Marv Albert, And How To Survive Any Sex Scandal
This month, Marv Albert celebrated his 70th birthday and joined the NFL on CBS. He announced he would leave his gig calling Nets games for the YES Network—he wouldn't have the time. The CBS job "wasn't something I was looking for," Albert said. Marv, at 70, is sports' most sought-after voice, so muc...

Here's Video Of Mexico Tying The Gold Cup Final At Two All
The U.S. went up 2-0 on a Landon Donovan goal from a Clint Dempsey assist. Mexico's Pablo Barrera countered with one six minutes later, leading to this José Andrés Guardado tally. Halftime score: 2-2....

From Fans To Rioters: The Pivotal First Minutes Of Vancouver's Self-Immolation
Kurtenblog dug up this unseen raw footage of the birth of the Canucks riots, from outside the Post Office where the first flipped, flaming car kicked off the night. It's a frightening testament to mob psychology, and does make you wonder at the lack of visible police....

Kissing Riot Couple's Zapruder Film Proves Their Blissful Moment Was Not Staged
Of course you remember the golden Vancouver riot couple, forever commemorated in this photo, their newfound love a port in a storm of tear gas and riot shields. Well, some folks wrote that the photo might have been staged—it seemed too perfect, too cinematic. We understood. Oh, this postmodern wor...

Something Of A Geek, Evan Scribner Is
Evan Scribner, pitcher for the Tampa Bay Rays Padres, has a Yoda backpack that makes it look as if he is giving Yoda a piggy-back ride. At some point in the last few years, we reached a cultural juncture at which this could either make Scribner a nerd or a hipster. I'm not sure that he's either, but...

Here's Video Of The Adu-To-Donovan-To-Dempsey Goal That Advanced The U.S. To The Gold Cup Final
With a 1-0 victory over Panama, the U.S. men's soccer team will face the winner of the upcoming Mexico/Honduras match in Houston. Yes, the Adu in the headline is Freddy, that not-quite-prodigy who Coach Bob Bradley inserted into the match in the 66th minute. And yes, both Adu's and Donovan's passe...

Serena And Tennis Have A Tearful Reunion At Wimbledon
This is the moment that tennis has been waiting for: its reluctant female lead in joyful tears after her triumphant return to Grand Slam tennis. The SportsCenter tribute is next. Serena Williams won her first-round match against Arvane Rezai in three sets today, 6-3, 3-6, 6-1, and was in tears whe...

This Is Easily The Most Amazing Video Of The Vancouver Riots
Did you know 360° video was a thing? It is. And it's awesome. Time to relive the Canucks riots with full visual immersion. [North Studio 360] [Alternate link, since we broke the first one]...

The Taiwanese Animation Version Of The Vancouver Riots
And the money line is, "Canadians are known for being polite while Vancouver is famous for being a beautiful city but there is a dark side — hockey." Dun dun dunnnn....

Watch The Marlins Catcher Successfully Throw The Ball At Shane Victorino's Head
Your morning roundup for June 18, the day "propaganda vans touted the importance of stability" in the Jeans Capital of China. (Video H/T, Jimmy Greek)...

We Got Him!
For the record, he was wearing a Christian Ehrhoff shirtsey....

Postcard From Western Canada: Vancouver Flames And Calgary Canucks
FORT McMURRAY, ALBERTA — During the nine months I've lived in Canada, I've abandoned my image of Canadians as a bunch of northern Minnesotans with their pinkies extended, single-payer health care and Queen Elizabeth's plump mugshot on every single coin in their snap-purses. They truly are a more pol...

Look At This U-18 Canadian Water Polo Player Trying To Blow Up A Vancouver Police Cruiser
There goes your scholarship, boyo. The intelligent young man you see here neglecting to cover his face with his hood but flashing some nifty Nike Dunk Highs(?) has been identified as Nathan Kotylak, who plays the sport of water polo at a very impressive level and looks remarkably at ease lighting a ...

Finally, Someone Asked Alan Thicke About The Riots
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Jason Seaver gets the final word....
