van Page 141 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

They Grow Their Quarterbacks Big Down There
We know that everyone is excited about Vanderbilt quarterback Jay Cutler, whom some project being drafted ahead of Texas' Vince Young and possibly even USC's Matt Leinart....

NCAA Pants Party: Texas Vs. Pennsylvania
Texas Longhorns (27-6) vs. Pennsylvania Quakers (20-8). When: Friday, 9:50 p.m. Where: Dallas....

Pennsylvania Quakers
1. Their Home Court Is Famous, And Not Just For Hoops. The Palestra: Penn's home court, often mentioned in hallowed tones, referred to by some as the most historic fieldhouse in all of college basketball. It's home not only to all of Penn's games, but many of the classic Big Five rivarly games as we...

The Special Edition That Wasn't There
We've always been curious about what happens to those pre-made shirts that say things like "Houston Astros 2005 World Series Champions" — it turns out this is what happens — but now we have a new question: What about those "special editions" newspapers put together weeks in advance that end up bei...

NFL Playoff Roundup: One Big Idiot Kicker
• Ordinarily, we come down on the side of kickers, if just because we have much more of a physical resemblance to them than 350-pound ogre lineman. But it's pretty much impossible to feel much sympathy for Colts gakker Mike Vanderjagt, whose missed field goal yesterday was somehow the perfect endi...

Today In The Premiership...
I don't know a whole lot about soccer, but I'm trying to learn... and I'm dragging you along with me, kicking and screaming....

Athlete Run-In: Nick The Quick Knows What Ladies Like
We've had a few protests over our upcoming hiatus from the athlete run-in stories. We're flattered that you like them so much, and we promise they will be back after the new year. We just don't want to rely on them, that's all. We're still taking your great ones at [email protected]. So send 'em o...

Owens Has Plenty Of Time To Party
Tomorrow night, in Atlantic City, N.J. — "we're like Vegas, only, you know, with more cutoff T-shirts with "I'm With Stupid" printed on them" — former Eagles wide receiver Terrell Owens will celebrate his 32nd birthday. ESPN's Chris Mortensen reported that invitations were left in Eagles players' ...

Holyfield Eager To Be Pummeled Again
If you were thinking that "Dancing With The Stars" hoofer Evander Holyfield was actually retiring, like, seriously this time, well, you're wrong again. Holyfield, who is 43 years old, has said as soon as he gets out of his contract with Don King, he will continue his quixotic attempt to regain his...

Until Next Year, Donovan
The news just broke, if it can be counting as "news" or "breaking:" Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb will miss the rest of the season after having surgery on his hernia, a surgery that sounds deeply unpleasant all kinds of thoughts here, not the least of which that by the time McNabb plays again,...

Authors With Pure Hearts: Jere Longman
It has been brought to our attention that, as much as people might like our Why Your Hometown Columnist Sucks feature, sometimes it's nice to point out good sportswriting. We agree; we're very friendly people and love great sportswriting as much, if not more, than anyone. Henceforth, we introduce ou...

The Woe Of The Eagles Fan
There was a moment last night, during the Eagles' season-crushing 21-20 loss to the Cowboys, when you really grasped just how difficult it must be to be an Eagles fan. Ordinarily, we scoff when fans of successful teams complain about their suffering; we root for the Arizona freaking Cardinals, so ...

Rosenhaus Sets T.O.'s Career Ablaze
One pretty amazing press conference involving Terrell Owens this afternoon. Owens came out and made a seemingly sincere statement, apologizing to his fans, the Eagles, Andy Reid, Donovan McNabb, the owners, pretty much everybody but Jeff Garcia. We were watching it thinking, "Man, he actually see...

That's All For T.O.
Making the unofficial officially official, Eagles coach Andy Reid announced a few minutes ago that Terrell Owens will not play for the Eagles again this season....

T.O. Just Nukes 'Em All
Honestly, we don't know why athletes even give interviews anymore. Philadelphia Eagles poo-stirrer Terrell Owens, after being asked about ESPN moron Michael Irvin's comment that the Eagles would be undefeated with Brett Favre as quarterback instead of Donovan McNabb, responded with:...

Well, You'll Have To Wear Those Short Pants, First Off
In one of those stories you couldn't make up even if you were trying really, really hard, famed British Open choker Jean Van De Velde has announced he intends to try to qualify for the Women's British Open next year to protest the decision to allow women to qualify for the men's event....

NFL Roundup: Party Para Mexico
• We're a little slow this morning, because did a shot every time ESPN showed some Mexican "culture" during last night's 31-14 Buzzsaw victory over the 49ers. We know it's unusual to play a game in another country, but the slack-jawed awe of the broadcasters last night — "look, another local! Thes...

Donovan McNabb, White Quarterback
We're not Professional Sports Columnists, but we'd have to say, just to keep our noses clean, the last thing we'd mention when discussing Eagles QB Donovan McNabb would be race. We'd mention his hairline, his goatee, even his ridiculous commercials, but race? That's OK, thanks, we'll be over here ...

Leftovers: Take This Job And Shove It
• There is nothing more dangerous than an angry man in compression shorts: Lance Armstrong re-retires. [Instant Punditry] • Kim Clijsters' coach quits, perhaps in a huff, we're not sure. [tennisace] • Fantasy Prison Camp: Former Braves pitcher sent to the Gray Bar Hotel. [Atlanta Journal-Constitutio...

Leftovers: P.S., I Love You
• OSU tight end Ryan Hamby receives hate mail, drops it. [Around the Oval] • Rams exec leaves threatening phone message on columnist's voice mail. We love stories like that. [STL Today • Bill Simmons finally acknowledges that he works for the same company as Mario Lopez. [Sports Guy's World] • The D...