van Page 120 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Dueling Mullets Welcome You To Day One Of The NHL Playoffs
Your morning roundup for April 13, the day Justin Bieber reminded us that the Middle East is still fucked up....

This Is The Saddest Image To Come Out Of The Sad WNBA Draft
The 2011 WNBA draft, held at 3 p.m. on a Monday, is now wrapping up. No shockers here: the Minnesota Lynx selected UConn's Maya Moore (projected during the draft to be the league MVP) with the first pick, 6'8" Australian Elizabeth Cambage was second overall and will play for Tulsa, and Courtney Vand...

A Bunch Of Guys Who Dyed Their Hair Blondish Won The NCAA Hockey Championship Last Night
Your morning roundup for April 10, the day a Virginia elementary school principal assures you the fourth-grade teacher didn't really put black and mixed-race students up for sale....

Canucks Supporters Video Might Have Elevated The Big Yankees Fan To Creative-Genius Status
Tipster Ian writes, "Since you have a link for a parody video for the Yankees, you guys gotta put this out there to get the buzz going for the start of the playoffs! Plus it's about the league leading team in almost every category, they have having an epic season and just in time for the real seas...

We Are All Dave McKenna LXIV
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit gets its teeth rapped in with a wrench....

In Vanderbilt Golf's Defense, They Were Probably Acting Like Nashville's Collegiate Golfers Do Everyday
Oh look, the Vanderbilt golf team tried to one-up the prancing baseball players with a video blending bromanish posture and the witticism of an Old Spice commercial knock-off. Totally works. (Not a real sport! Get it?!)...

In Vanderbilt Baseball's Defense, They Were Probably Trying To Be Funny
If what College Baseball Daily says is true, five members of the Vanderbilt University baseball team donned white tight and lisps to promote the school's Black and Gold Banquet. Oh. I get it....

Invisible Line Helps Oregon Win A Sub-NIT Championship
The Oregon Ducks won the College Basketball Invitational tournament (presented by Zebra Pen) last night. The CBI's "history page" goes all the way back to 2008 and notes how VCU won it last year....

Go Deep Inside Brian Wilson's Beard
I know I'm essentially linking to an MLB ad designed to go viral. But this is just so involved, and so weirdly un-MLBlike. [MLBAlwaysEpic]...

It Took A Self-Proclaimed "Hockey Luvin Homo" To Make A Canucks-Kings Game Noteworthy
Your morning roundup for April 1, the day you are permitted to seek vengeance against anybody who you think has wronged you, with no legal ramifications whatsoever....

Keeping An Eye On CBS's Eye On Sports Stories About Eye Injuries
We haven't exactly lived up to the return challenge to never post anything regarding "death" or "spin" since we pointed out Eye On Baseball's story on Luis Salazar's lost left eye a few weeks ago, but we do feel it is our new duty to keep an eye on the CBS sports blogs' eye injury stories. Today: Ma...

Someone Stole Evan Longoria's AK-47
On Saturday, someone broke into the house that Longoria, David Price and Reid Brignac were renting for Spring Training. (Yes, it's precious that they're living together.) While they were at a game, someone entered through an unlocked window and removed $56,000 worth of " jewelry, cash, computer equi...

Let's End The Day With A Video About A Cop Totally Roughing A Lady Up
What we have here looks like some folks grappling in the passenger-side doorway of a vehicle in Savannah-Chatham, Ga. on St. Patrick's Day. While a couple of roomy gals stroll though the background, crunchy guy starts delivering profanities to the ears of those inside the vehicle and three punches...

The Florida Basketball Team Has No Comment On Premarital Sex
A reporter for the Orlando Sentinel attended the Florida Gators' press conference yesterday to ask Billy Donovan and Chandler Parsons about premarital sex, and then he wrote nearly 800 words about how the BYU honor code "lifted college athletics up." Donovan passed on the question — "How hard woul...

Elizabeth Taylor, As Remembered By Fake Robert Evans
In light of the recent passing of Hollywood screen icon Liz Taylor, we asked legendary Hollywood producer and Jamboroo contributor Robert Evans to join us to share some of his fondest memories of the actress. Take it away, Mr. Evans....

This Woman Crashed A Car With 54 Bags Of Heroin In Her Vagina
Karin Mackaliunas of Scranton, Pennsylvania could be a character on The Office — if they had a character who stuffs 54 bags of heroin, cash, empty bags, and pills in her vagina and then crashes a car. Bloated much?… [Jalopnik] ...

Canadian Hero Steve Nash Pumps Up Fellow Canadians At Canadian MLS Game
Steve Nash attended the Vancouver Whitecaps' first regular season game this weekend and, almost on his own, totally pumped up the crowd. The part-owner stands up in a personalized MLS jersey and waves a scarf back and forth, to the utter delight his countrymen. If inspiring the home crowd was Nash...

Playtime: The Animals Shooting Baskets Megamix, Set To "One Shining Moment"
Animals play basketball, too....

Four Shining Moments Reenacted By Lego Basketball Players
Your morning roundup for March 17, the day when the Apostle of Ireland's deathiversary contributes to many facets of the American economy. Act as responsibly as you see fit, folks....

The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy Of Jay Cutler's Choice In Halloween Costumes
Not eight weeks after Chicago Bears QB Jay Cutler's manliness was called into question after a playoff injury against the eventual Super Bowl champions, tipster Jeff S. forwards this "gem" of a photo from his days at Vanderbilt. It was Halloween 2005 when tough-guy and BMOC quarterback and pal disg...