van Page 132 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Beat That, Dr. James Andrews
Arsenal striker Robin van Persie plans to treat his injured ankle by smothering it in placental fluid. Funny, because that description fairly well sums up Cristiano Ronaldo's fling with Paris Hilton. [Guardian]...

Farm Poise
At last, we have someone to fill the void left by Mark Sanchez roughly seven interceptions ago. Meet James Vandenberg, Iowa's starting quarterback and America's new avatar of poise....

No, Vancouver Is The Other Way!
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Smarty Pants Web Mag Goes A Little Laddy With "Baseball's Sexiest Teammates"
Here's a gallery-friendly rundown of baseball's best WAGs by position. For example: your pitching staff for this squad would trot out Ann Margret, Alyssa Milano, and Mamie Van Doren. [Daily Beast]...

Mike Tyson Says It Was A Pleasure To Have Known, Bitten Evander Holyfield
Oprah gave Mike Tyson a chance to apologize to Evander Holyfield for real today. Tyson passed. He does more dancing in these 30 seconds than he did in his entire career. What a champion! [Oprah]...

Oprah To Host Tyson-Holyfield III
Mike Tyson is heading back to Oprah Winfrey's show on Friday and he's bringing his old dinner companion, Evander Holyfield. What could those two possibly have to talk about? [CBSNews]...

This Week In Heartbreaking High School Football Losses
The first one actually happened two weekends ago in Westland, Michigan, where John Glenn High (trailing by one after an earlier missed extra point) lined up for a final play, game-winning field goal against Canton Plymouth. Plymouth heroically blocked the kick and all its players ran to the sideline...

George Lopez Is This Year's Frank Caliendo
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Baseball Season Won't Die
While the season is over for Schlongoria and company, there's still a bit of business left to settle in the AL Central before the playoffs start....

Evander Holyfield, Bringer Of Light
Holyfield wants to convert his mansion to a solar energy farm, and sell the power. I'm sure this has nothing to do with his financial troubles, and everything to do with genuine care for the environment. [AJC]...

Canada Bogarting Its 2010 Olympic Venues
Canada—a country known planet-wide for its legendary rudeness and treachery—is denying foreign athletes access to Olympics sites in the run-up to the Vancouver Games, in order to protect their precious home-snow advantage. Oh....it is on, hosers....

The Confessions Of An NBA Scorekeeper
"I went into the NBA as bright-eyed and bushy-tailed as I could get," Alex says. "I loved the game. I didn't want to taint it." Of course, that was before Alex did all those "bad, bad, bad" things....

Rangers Welcome Ivan Rodriguez Back Into Their Pudgy Arms
Houston puts the Rangers' old catcher on a bus to Arlington, receive two prospects in return, and Texas fans get a daily reminder that old age will someday leave them a broken shell of their former selves. [Dallas Morning News]...

Landon Donovan Has Swine Flu
And no, he didn't get it from being showered in urine and vomit by Mexican fans. But here's your excuse for yesterday's match result, Sam's Army. [FanNation]...

An Assist For Nick Van Exel: How An NBA Scorekeeper Cooked The Books
In January 1997, the Lakers' Nick Van Exel handed out 23 assists in a 95-82 victory over Vancouver, a feat less attributable to his sharpshooting teammates than to the numbers-fudging Lakers fan working the Grizzlies' scorer's table....

Slapfight!
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Vancouver Wary Of MMA "Gangsters"
This is the best news lede of the month: "The potential for an Ultimate Fighting Championship event to draw undesirable gangsters to downtown Vancouver is real, say police." So should we just hand over our wallets and women now?...

Berman Playfully Miffed Over Being Snubbed By TMZ Camera Assassins
Or is he? The "You spend 30 years in the business..." line seemed a little genuine. I wonder if Evan Longoria even knew who he was? [TMZ]...

How Does One Get An Infected Finger?
That's what happened to Evan Longoria. So All-Star game: Longoria out, Figgins in. Not a euphemism. [ESPN]...

Oh, Donovan, Please Don't Hang Out With Porn Stars At The Pool
It's just Donovan McNabb being polite (and portly) at a topless pool in Vegas this past weekend . And Jayden James, who is/was dating Chuck Liddell (NSFW!), had a run-in with Five. He's a jovial fellow! NOTHING happened. [JaydenJames'BlogNSFWNSFWNSFW]...