van Page 135 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Holyfield Loses Narrow Decision, Survives
A Russian giant gets an early Christmas present in Switzerland....
This Is Not Going to End Well
Tonight Evander Holyfield steps back in the ring. The 46 year-old claims to fight on because it is the will of God, but everyone paying attention knows that it's primarily the will of his creditors....
The NBA is a 'Ghetto Gutter', Says a Vancouver Writer
The Vancouver Grizzlies moved from Canada to Memphis seven years ago, and evidently, some people are still bitter....
Doping Scandal Threatens To Destroy The World Of ... Chess?
Vassily Ivanchuk of the Ukraine is the third-ranked player in the world, but he faces a two-year ban from his game because he failed a drug test. A drug test. In chess....
Bernard Hopkins Not Exactly In Donovan McNabb's Corner
And now a few words from Bernard Hopkins, former middleweight and light heavyweight world champion, Philadelphia native (Germantown), prison guest and all-around badass. Subject: Donovan McNabb. Venue: KNBR-680 (San Francisco) radio, Thursday afternoon. Mood: Huffy. Key quote: "I wish the Wizard of ...
Lindsey Vonn Loves Spherical Sports Trophies, Cows
Why do I love U.S. skier Lindsey Vonn? It's not because she won last season's overall World Cup title, and also won the opening slalom of the 2009 Cup season in Finland on Nov. 15. And it's not because she's the most underrated female athlete in the U.S. It's because she's the only professional athl...
Deion Sanders Forces Philly Fans to Engage in Some Long-Overdue Self-Reflection
This news is a bit old, but you're probably still so doped up on tryptophan at the moment that you won't know the difference. Deion Sanders had some not-so-nice words for Eagles fans following Philly's big Thanksgiving Day rout of the Cardinals. During the NFL Network's postgame interview with Dono...
Deadspin Deleted Scenes: The One With Facial Art and STD Addendums
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another - usually because they're just so absurd or really lack even the most tenuous of news angles to give them the go-ahead. Other times it's because they're just absolut...
Dim-Witted Donovan McNabb Sick Of Talking About Dim-Wittedness
Obviously, I'm not happy about how things in Iggle-ville right now, but given my state of euphoria after a Phillies championship it's tough to get too angry about the dumbfounding dipshittery that has crippled this football team this year. Granted, the recent revelations about Donovan McNabb's compl...
Finally; Rosie Perez Arrives To Explain This NFL Tie Business
The more I hear about it, the more convinced I am that this Eagles-Bengals tie quote is going to be Donovan McNabb's legacy; like Chris Webber's time out with none remaining, or the ground ball through Buckner's wickets. I'm not saying that's fair, it's just the way it's gonna be. Because when video...
College Football Roundup: Barack Obama's New Southern Strategy
The most interesting thing about this weekend was Barack Obama continuing his jeremiad against the BCS. At first you thought his Monday Night Football interview with Berman was probably just a flippant aside. But now he's carried the anti-BCS flame into office and laid out an 8-team playoff plan. Al...
Donovan McNabb Would Like To Use One of His Lifelines
OK it's true, Donovan McNabb had no idea that there was such a thing as a tie in the NFL (see video below). But let's not pick on him; it seems that there were several members of the Eagles and Bengals who were unaware of the rule, as unbelievable as that might sound. In what will go down in my hous...
Holyfield Will Fight Valuev, And he Means It
... Anybody Want A Peanut? Of course Andre the Giant comes to mind when we find out that Evander Holyfield, age 46, has an agreement to fight 7-foot-2 Russian WBA heavyweight champion Nikolai Valuev, on December 20th in Zurich, Switzerland. But I draw more of a comparison to Hulk Hogan in Rocky III...
Mike Van Ryn Is Having A Rough Year
The NHL season is only a few weeks old, but for Toronto Maple Leafs defenseman Mike Van Ryn it probably feels like an eternity. Back in October, he removed a pane of glass from the boards in Boston with his face and on Saturday night he was on the receiving end of this rather nasty boarding penalty...
Cutler's Beirut Arm Is Stronger Than Elway's
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap "These pictures were taken @ the Tin Roof in Nashville where Jay Cutler spent homecoming. I guess Jay took the 10-7 loss to Duke pretty hard and wanted to show off his Beirut skill...
College Football Preview: Check Your Messages Knowshon
LSU fans aren't only the most insane in college football, they're also the most resourceful. Perhaps insanity and resourcefulness aren't conflicting traits after all. Why do I say this? Because for the second year in a row LSU fans have made the cell phone lives of their opponents miserable. You'll ...
Evan Longoria's Not Making a Lot of Amigos at ESPNDeportes
Nice catch by Shysterball, about a minor controversy from Evan Longoria's Eva Longoria-filled interview with Big League Stew's Dave Brown earlier this month. It stemmed from this question, where Brown pithily asked who on the team should not sport a Rayhawk: ...
College Football Roundup: Chase Daniel and Warren Buffett Are Boyzzz
The most shocking image of the college football weekend occurred in the second half of Missouri-Nebraska. And it had nothing to do with the fact that Missouri hung 52 on Nebraska before the third quarter ended. It was finding out that Missouri’s chubby and short quarterback who will win the Heisman...
College Football Preview: Y'all Better Recognize Joe Pa Wants His Daps, Yo
The eyes of the college football world shift to Nashville, Tennessee this weekend where the mighty Vanderbilt Commodores will be hosting Auburn. This is a huge game for Vandy. The last time they beat Auburn was 1955, the same year that Rosa Parks instituted her bus boycott in Montgomery. Yep, black ...
College Football Roundup Week 5: The Saga of Destroyed College Gameday Signs
Each week more signs appear behind the stage at ESPN's College Gameday. Some are original and funny (Knowshon Crossing sign with his leaping outline), some are entirely inside jokes (let's make a sign with our friend's name on it and hold it up for three hours early in the morning), and some are de...