w Page 2716 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The A's Got Embarrassed, Again, But There's Reason For Hope
So, yes. The Oakland Athletics are dead again. The A’s finally got to host a winner-take-all playoff game after losing last year’s Wild Card Game in New York but, for the ninth time in as many tries, they biffed it, losing 5-1. ...
A Hater's Guide To The 2019 MLB Playoffs
Baseball is good when it’s good, and sometimes even more powerful when it’s bad, and maybe especially when it doesn’t matter, which makes it more concerning that we are running out of it at an alarming rate. This is normal seasonal stuff, but it’s upsetting nonetheless. Teams’ seasons are dying out ...
Poor Rays Sideline Reporter Keeps Getting Absolutely Soaked In Celebratory Postgame Alcohol
I suppose this is one of those good problems, but it’s still a problem! Fox Sports Florida sideline reporter Tricia Whitaker keeps getting mercilessly drenched by celebrating Rays players, who seem to view live postgame interviews as opportunities to dump truly gargantuan quantities of beer and cham...
Nobody Thought Through These Invasive Starting Block Cameras At The IAAF World Championships
Lots of things have not gone well at the IAAF’s World Athletics Championships in Doha. Everyone competing is either spooked by the ghostly silence of almost no spectators in attendance or half-dead of heat exhaustion. Here is one more thing not going well: a bunch of athletes have been criticizing t...
Right On Cue, Elena Delle Donne's Back Is All Screwed Up
Elena Delle Donne left Game 2 of the WNBA Finals with back spasms after just three minutes in the first quarter Tuesday night, not 24 hours after I (a blithering, cheeky idiot!) proclaimed the Washington Mystics more or less invincible. The Connecticut Sun managed to steal the game on Washington tur...
Down A Hole: The Missing Scenes Of <i>Donald J. Trump's Fabulous World Of Golf</i>
There are currently two cable news networks devoted to celebrating and defending Donald Trump. Both are widely watched by the most distraught elderly people in the United States, including the president himself, and Trump has made a point of involving various personalities from that network—haunted ...
Julian Edelman Was Horrified By The Sight Of Bill Belichick's Dick And Balls Emerging From A Hot Tub
Bill Belichick: masterful strategist, Patriots legend, nude hot tubber. That last image is now unfortunately stuck in your brain, never to get out, because of Pats wide receiver Julian Edelman....
Jay Gruden Is Going To Get Fired, But He Has To Finish Eating This Giant Pile Of Shit First
Who the hell knows with the Skins. At the organizational level, they’ve spent the past 20 years blasting away at their own dicks with shotguns, and there is no reason to expect they’ll abandon the effort anytime between now and when the seas rise to reclaim Landover. Maybe they will name poor, haple...
Federal Government Investigating USA Swimming Over Sexual Abuse Claims And Alleged Shady Business Practices
The Wall Street Journal reported today that several federal government agencies are in the process of investigating USA Swimming, the sport’s national governing body, over a variety of alleged misdeeds, following a report last month that the U.S. Department of Justice was investigating several U.S. ...
31 Guys, 31 Teams: Your 2019–20 NHL Season Preview
It’s here! The hockey is finally here! Tonight, on this most special of nights, we’ll see meaningful puck drops across North America for the first time since June, and I could not be happier. Thank you for clicking on this preview, and in doing so choosing to enjoy or learn about the best game you ...
Trent Grisham Isn't Going To Forget This One For A While
Trent Grisham, welcome to October. The 22-year-old midseason call-up, who was such a big part of the Brewers’ postseason push, especially after Christian Yelich went down, learned quickly and the hard way that the reason the crowds are bigger and louder is that every play’s import is magnified, and ...
Darren Rovell Spends $84 On Sushi, Mewls Over $1.68 Fee
Foam-brained brand remora Darren Rovell spent the first half of his day blowing a disturbing but unsurprising amount of hot air about California’s SB 206, fretting stupidly over billboard valuations and the dangers of “sham endorsements.” Having worked up a mighty appetite, Rovell then treated himse...
Nationals Eliminate Brewers Thanks To Brutal, Brutal Outfield Error
The Milwaukee Brewers had it. They had it! For seven-plus innings, their pitchers successfully shut the Nationals down with a steady diet of high heat, and preserved a two-run lead that started to feel like 50 or 100 runs as the game progressed. The Brewers got to Josh Hader in the bottom of the eig...
The Mystics Lost Elena Delle Donne And, Obviously, They Lost Game 2
The Washington Mystics were likely feeling confident heading into Tuesday’s WNBA Finals Game 2, as they looked all-around fantastic in their Game 1 win against the Connecticut Sun. But just a few minutes into tonight’s match-up, the Mystics would experience a disturbing flashback to last year’s Fina...
Sometimes The Last, Most Meaningless Moments Are Baseball's Best
When it gets late enough in any long baseball game and every long baseball season, it is natural to start looking for omens. The baseball stuff is usually failing pretty badly by that point, or at least dramatically eroded by all the innings and incidents that have washed over it in the preceding mo...
Brugge Player Scores Two Goals On Real Madrid Despite Twice Doo-Dooing Himself
Even though Real Madrid have been ass all year, no one would’ve expected anything other than a comfortable win when the Blancos hosted Club Brugge in the Champions League today. And yet the Belgian team spent the vast majority of the match in winning position, thanks to two goals from Emmanuel Denni...
Boban Marjanovic Enjoys State Fair Of Texas
Very tall man Boban Marjanovic, who signed with the Dallas Mavericks, is back in Texas. He wore an extra cool cowboy outfit to his team’s media day earlier this week, and he attended the State Fair of Texas this past weekend. A tipster sent along photos of Marjanovic playing a carnival game. He’s bo...
OGC Nice Release Player Who Stole Teammate's €70,000 Watch
Ligue 1 side OGC Nice released Lamine Diaby-Fadiga on Tuesday, after the 18-year-old admitted to stealing teammate Kasper Dolberg’s €70,000 watch last month. In a statement released on their website, Nice announced that they were severing their contract with the youngster over the theft:...
Tennis Fan Banned From China Open After Punching And Kicking Rival Fan
A tennis fan who beat up another tennis fan at the China Open on Sunday will not be returning to the event, the WTA said in a statement via the New York Post. ...
Tennis Umpire Suspended For Coaching Player, Creeping On Ball Girl During Match
Tennis chair umpire Gianluca Moscarella of Italy was suspended yesterday for being an outrageous cheater and a creep during an ATP Tour Challenger match on Saturday. During the second-round match between Portugal’s Pedro Sousa and Italy’s Enrico Della Valle, the umpire coached and encouraged Sousa a...