w Page 2826 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Darren Rovell Gets New Job, Completes Calcification Of His Brain
ESPN sports business dullard Darren Rovell, a sensitive penis who leads a truly harrowing life and has never reported an interesting thing during his impossibly charmed and lucrative career, has a new job at the Action Network....
Washington Claims Former 49ers Linebacker Reuben Foster After Domestic Violence Arrest
Two days after the San Francisco 49ers released linebacker Reuben Foster, a move prompted by Foster’s arrest over the weekend on misdemeanor domestic violence charges, Foster has a new team. Washington announced the signing of Foster today, and they were the only team to place a waiver claim on him,...
Please Enjoy This Enormous Australian Cow
What you’re looking at here is a cow named Knickers, a Holstein Friesian that lives on a farm in Western Australia with a bunch of other regulation-size cows that honestly look laughably small—like a child’s toys, like a dull child’s stupid playthings—in comparison. This is because Knickers, per Per...
Jameis Winston Settles Sexual Assault Lawsuit With Uber Driver
Tampa Bay Buccaneers QB Jameis Winston has reached a settlement in the lawsuit filed by a woman identified as “Kate P.,” an Uber driver who accused Winston of groping her during a ride in March 2016, according to a notice of settlement filed in Arizona court on Monday. ...
Irish Soccer Team Caught Faking The Death Of Their Own Player To Get Out Of A Game
Ballybrack FC—a real team, I swear—were strongly condemned by the Leinster Senior League—again, a real league of lower-tier Irish soccer clubs—after they committed the grave sin of lying about the death of one of their players, possibly in order to get out of a game this weekend....
Ass Team Of The Week: Oh Yeah, The San Francisco 49ers Still Play Football
Every person that cares about NFL football was freed from having to pay any attention to the San Francisco 49ers at the moment quarterback Jimmy Garoppolo tore his ACL in Week 3. They briefly rose to notice when rookie quarterback Nick Mullens had a decent game on Thursday Night Football, but for th...
Stephen A. Smith And Will Cain Debate About Debating
The only way First Take can ever feel genuine or unscripted is when its loudmouths end up talking shop on air. Stephen A. Smith, a sputtering whoopee cushion that can be palpated to produce sports-adjacent commentary, got into it with milquetoast chud Will Cain on today’s show....
Here Is a Truly Putrid Basketball Sequence
The Bucks lost to the Hornets yesterday, thanks largely to the following sequence in which they missed what feels like 15 shots in what feels like five seconds. There’s no one standout here, as every single Milwaukee player’s ability to trip over himself is remarkable and laudable; a special note of...
<i>Sports Illustrated</i> Erects Towering Straw Man In Shitty Drew Brees Cover Story
Sports Illustrated’s latest cover story is about New Orleans Saints quarterback Drew Brees, who is in his 18th season in the NFL and has long been acknowledged as one of the greatest of all time. In the waning years of a great player’s career it makes sense that SI would do a big ol’ feature on th...
UFC Cuts Alarmingly Smiley Action Figure Sage Northcutt
The dream is over: Sage Northcutt has been released by the UFC. After just over three years with the promotion, Northcutt’s boss Dana White confirmed that the UFC would not be bringing back the fighter. The UFC will now have to find a new golden retriever....
Masin Elijé Is Still Talking About His Harassment Accusation Against Dwight Howard, But Almost No One Else Is
On Saturday night, Masin Elijé started a Twitter thread saying that he had dated Washington Wizards center Dwight Howard. Elijé also wrote that, after breaking up with Howard, he was harassed and threatened by both Howard and a man named Calvin who works for him....
![RIP, Sean Taylor. Now Buy This Crappy Doll From Dan Snyder! [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/zulsvtttxpx4slbeq7d4.png)
RIP, Sean Taylor. Now Buy This Crappy Doll From Dan Snyder! [Update]
Sean Taylor died 11 years ago today after being shot in his Florida home. For those looking to honor his memory on this awful anniversary: Dan Snyder is selling a crappy Sean Taylor doll....
Deadspin Awards: Ass Team Of The Year
The Deadspin Awards will take place on Dec. 5, and you can come! We also need our readers to decide the winners of these prestigious honors. Today, we ask you to help us determine the answer to an important question: Who is the Ass Team of the Year?...
Armageddon Looms Over The World Chess Championship After Magnus Carlsen's Shocking Decision
LONDON — There’s been drama worthy of a Shakespearean tragedy at the World Chess Championship, as Magnus Carlsen and Fabiano Caruana have fought to a draw in each of their 12 head-to-head games, sending the match to overtime with a day of tiebreaks to decide the winner. Games 9-12 featured a black e...
Baker Mayfield Is Still Taking Shots At Hue Jackson
You would think having the worst head coaching record with a team in the entire history of the NFL would have been enough punishment—or enough of an indictment. And if not, maybe getting unceremoniously fired midseason might have been sufficient. But no, not only does Hue Jackson have to live with t...
Dammit, Durant
Stephen Curry has missed the last 10 Warriors games with a groin injury. Draymond Green has missed nine of the last 11 Warriors games. The Warriors have looked mostly like crap over that stretch, with losses at home to the Bucks and Thunder, and road losses in Houston, Dallas, San Antonio, and to th...
The Rockets Are Short On Ideas
The Rockets lost on the road to the crummy Wizards Monday night, in overtime, by the score of 135–131. James Harden was tremendous, in his particular James Harden-ian way, but the team around him mostly sucks, and the Rockets once again have absolutely no reliable form of attack beyond clearing out ...
One Khris Middleton Shot Blocked By 60 Percent Of Hornets Lineup
One pretty sure sign that you’ve chosen a bad shot is when it is stuffed back in your face by a defender. Khris Middleton is having an excellent season for the Milwaukee Bucks, but if your shot is blocked by three different defenders, probably you owe your teammates a sincere apology. ...
Title-Winning High School Football Coach Freaks Out On Players After Ice Bath
Randy Dreiling, head football coach at St. Thomas Aquinas High School in Overland Park, Kansas, guided the Saints to the first state championship in program history on Saturday. After the 49-28 victory, the Saints, in return, guided their coach into (apparently) his first-ever ice bath in coaching h...