Darren Rovell Gets New Job, Completes Calcification Of His Brain

ESPN sports business dullard Darren Rovell, a sensitive penis who leads a truly harrowing life and has never reported an interesting thing during his impossibly charmed and lucrative career, has a new job at the Action Network.

The Action Network is a new media company that will focus on sports gambling, and Rovell will be hired as an “executive producer” who will also “consult on larger content strategy,” according to the Washington Post’s.

What does any of that mean? Who the hell knows! Nobody knows what a real job in media even is anymore, and this Post story includes Action CEO Patrick Keane calling Rovell, an ostensible journalist, a “tireless promoter of all things” as a way of complimenting his new hire. The world may be upside down, but at least we can take comfort in one constant: Darren Rovell’s brain being very, very bad:

“They’re buying me as a brand,” Rovell said. “They’re buying a brand with two million Twitter followers. And I’ll be tweeting links to promote everything — the website, the app and my stories.”

Excuse me while I try to pull my tongue out of the back of my throat.

[ WaPo]