w Page 2871 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Play-By-Play Man Calls The Destruction Of His Own Computer Like A True Pro
Roger Hoover is the play-by-play man for the Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp, and during yesterday’s game against the Mobile BayBears, a foul ball zipped into the press box and wrecked Hoover’s computer. Hoover, keeping things professional, just sat there and relayed the action to listeners, describing th...
Now These World Cup Teams Are Frauds, In My Opinion
It’s a World Cup off day, and it sucks! Let’s get through it together with some frauds. And remember, FraudWatch is never wrong; sometimes it’s merely premature....
Brewers Outfielder Keon Broxton Was Pumped After His Fantastic Home-Run Robbery
Keon Broxton is only getting playing time because the Brewers needed a center fielder to replace the DL-bound Lorenzo Cain at the end of June, but he seems determined to do as much cool shit as possible before he’s no longer needed....
Tina Charles Came Home To Win A Title. Instead, She Wound Up In Exile.
You can understand Tina Charles’ season with the New York Liberty, her hometown team, by watching the final two possessions of last Thursday’s game against the Washington Mystics....
Neymar's Theatrical Diving Is Already Corrupting The Youth
Following his team’s elimination from the World Cup at the hands of Brazil, Mexico manager Juan Carlos Osorio was worried about how Neymar’s histrionics might corrupt the next generation. Those fears were well-founded, it turns out, as this clip from a Swiss club’s youth soccer training session prov...
Let's All Laugh At Stephen A. Smith's Pronunciation Of The Word "Memes"
On his radio show the other day, Stephen A. Smith had SOMETHING or OTHER to shout about DEMARCUS Cousins JOINING the WARRIORS when he—aw, hell, just listen to it:...
The Nationals Might Be In Some Trouble
The Nationals were heavy NL East favorites, but perhaps by default. They’ve won the division the last two years, and in four of the last six, and the young Braves and Phillies weren’t supposed to be this good, this quickly. But never mind the standings, where Washington is seven games back—the Nats ...
Carlos Gomez Can't Hit The Ball, But He Can Hit This Water Cooler
Tampa Bay Rays outfielder Carlos Gomez is hitting .197 on the year, and the strikeout he picked up in his first at-bat of today’s game won’t help matters. But at least Gomez is batting 1.000 against stationary water coolers....
Times Of Day For Fireworks, Ranked
Some folks outside my apartment were shooting off fireworks around noon today. Why would you waste them like that? I’m not sure, but this is when you should set off fireworks....
The OKC Thunder—Yeah, The <i>Thunder</i>—Now Have The Most Expensive Roster In NBA History
In an NBA offseason already filled with earth-shaking moves from the likes of LeBron James and DeMarcus Cousins, it was 34-year-old journeyman point guard Raymond Felton who truly pushed his team into uncharted territory when he resigned with the Thunder for one year and $2.4 million. On the heels o...
Let's Unplug The NBA Offseason And Plug It Back In
There is no fan community in American sports that thinks more about how it does what it does than NBA fans. This isn’t necessarily a compliment, but it’s not really up for debate, either. The NBA is the best and most interesting league that we’ve got, and as such is pretty excellent to get excited o...
For The Love Of God, Please Do Not Ruin Your Fourth Of July By Looking At Jason Pierre-Paul's Exploded Hand
I’m really warning you on this one, guys. Do not scroll down if you are squeamish. Defensive end Jason Pierre-Paul, formerly of the Giants and now of the Buccaneers, shared a picture late last night showing the full, graphic damage of his blown-up right hand after his fireworks accident three years ...
Joshua Blew A Trumpet And Fell The Walls Of Jericho; Tim Tebow Blew A Fly Ball Off The Wall And It Hit Him In The Head
Look, man, I dunno how many more of these Tebow headlines I have left....
Oh Come On, The Lakers Passed On DeMarcus Cousins?
It’s undeniably wack that the Warriors, with the signing of DeMarcus Cousins to a one-year, $5.3 million deal on Monday night, have managed to assemble an entire starting five that, when healthy, could run the Eastern Conference All-Stars off the court. But what makes the earthquake of the Cousins s...
Yes, Surely Dwight Howard Is Just The Man To Solve The Wizards' Crippling Chemistry Issues
Why did the Wizards fade down the stretch last season and finish 10-15 after the All-Star break on their way to another first-round exit? Part of it was an injury to John Wall, part of it was their questionable depth, but an important reason was that they loathed each other. Exhibit A: Marcin Gortat...
England Miraculously Avoid Pulling An England By Beating Colombia In Penalty Shootout
Coming into the knockout rounds, everything was lined up perfectly for England to make their deepest World Cup run in generations. Naturally, this set a countervailing force in motion, one that would see England do what they always do and choke in hilariously heartbreaking fashion. During today’s En...
Colombia Force Extra Time With 93rd-Minute Equalizer
Yerry Mina’s header off a 93rd-minute corner sent Colombia’s knockout round match against England to extra time, and sent Caracol broadcaster Javier “El Cantante del Gol” Fernandez into his characteristic goal call—one we’d worried we wouldn’t hear again this tournament....
Roger Federer Signs Enormous Sponsorship Deal For Scalp-To-Ankle Region Of His Body
Roger Federer won his first-round match Monday at Wimbledon in straight sets, but as the tennis media would tell it, the most meaningful thing he did was pick out his wardrobe before the match. Try as I’d like to resist the perverse Rovellian fascination here ... I can’t. It’s weird. It feels weird....
Sweden Edge Switzerland In Contest Of Who Sucks Less At Kicking The Ball
Sweden and Switzerland combined to sully what has been an amazingly entertaining World Cup with a total borefest today that did little more than solidify how, without expertise at the apparently arcane art of kicking the ball good, soccer can sort of suck. Sweden won by a score of 1-0. Too bad both ...
This Is Wack
Maybe your first thought was of the insanely overpowered Boogie-Draymond-Durant-Klay-Steph lineup the Golden State Warriors now can assemble, and of what never-before-seen levels of basketball excellence that group could unlock together. Mine was. But neither of us will ever see that....