w Page 2899 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Mets Didn't Bat In Order And It's A Miracle They Can Even Put On Their Uniforms Correctly
Asdrúbal Cabrera gave the Mets their first hit of the game today with a ground-rule double to shallow left field, which allowed Jay Bruce the chance to bring him home. However, as soon as Bruce stepped to the plate, he was called out, stranding Cabrera and ending the inning. It seems Mets manager M...
The Athletic Has Inflicted<em></em> Rick Reilly Upon You
If you are subscriber to The Athletic, I have some bad news for you:...
The Rockets Better Not Fuck This Up
The Houston Rockets and Golden State Warriors wrapped up their five-game eliminations of, respectively, the Utah Jazz and New Orleans Pelicans last night. Like the series they ended, neither game was particularly closely contested; both losing teams did just enough to preserve their dignity and no m...
Aroldis Chapman Threw This Season's Fastest Pitch Right Into Jackie Bradley Jr.'s Side
Last week, Cardinals reliever Jordan Hicks threw the two fastest pitches of the season (102.0 and 101.9 mph, respectively) during the same at-bat to White Sox shortstop Tim Anderson. He didn’t get his bat on either of them but somehow managed to draw a walk. Of course Hicks couldn’t last atop the le...
The Yankees Were Obsessed With Giancarlo Stanton's Swing
The Yankees beat the Red Sox 3-2 for their 16th win in 17 games, on the back of an 11-strikeout night from Cy Young candidate Luis Severino and a go-ahead RBI single from Aaron Judge in the seventh, to move into a tie for the best record in the AL East and in all of baseball. But all any of them wan...
Oh Hey Guys What's Up?
For exclusive videos, pictures, and more, like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter and Instagram. Send us your confidential tips at [email protected], call our confidential tips hotline at (347) 746-8471, contact our writers directly, or use our anonymous SecureDrop system....
Policeman Provokes Groundhog To Walk Into Road So He Can Shoot It Twice
The next time someone tells you Blue Lives Matter is a misguided, stupid slogan, show them this....
Khaki Shorts Enthusiasts Brawl At Charity Cornhole Tournament
The chamber of commerce in Georgia’s Douglas County holds an annual charity cornhole tournament, the point of which is to raise money for a local scholarship fund. This year, that tournament also served as a place for some husky men in shorts to throw haymakers at each other....
I Beat Up My Own Brain At The American Crossword Puzzle Tournament
I once read an essay from which I can remember a single thing: that the author, a white man entering his forties, was no longer afraid to commit acts of minor to moderate civil disobedience in the service of righteous causes, or for just for shits-n-gigs. Send him to jail? Sure. Whatever he had to p...
Down With Decorative Pillows!
Hello and welcome to the Funbag! The last time I filled in for Drew, I took over the sex and fantasy football mailbag that he started for Kissing Suzy Kolber, a poorly named blog of a bygone era. I am presently unemployed, so if Drew turns up dead and I’m writing this column again next week, I didn’...
Police Say Parents Pretended Their Kid Had Cancer So He Could Meet Syracuse Football Team
The world—okay, people on the internet—okay, some people in and around Syracuse—were touched by the story of C.J. LaFrance, a 9-year-old with Hodgkin’s lymphoma who was able to visit the Orange football team last August and hang out at practice. Police now say parents Martin and Jolene LaFrance fabr...
This Week's All-Athlete<i> Dancing With The Stars </i>Was All Glitter And Madness
The dresses: glittery. The celebrities: moderately recognizable. The event: you definitely heard someone mention it once. Last night, and technically all of yesterday if you really think about it, was Monday, the one day of the week where a handful of dubious notables along with actual talent hired ...
The Capitals Finally Did It
It doesn’t really matter. It’s just a conference final appearance. The Capitals are only halfway through the postseason, eight wins down, eight tough wins still left to earn for the only ending that’ll leave them truly satisfied. And each of the four other teams still alive are better bets to go th...
Filip Forsberg Is Too Pretty To Die Without A Game 7<em></em>
The Predators beat the Jets 4-0 in Winnipeg tonight to fight off second-round elimination and force a Game 7 back in Nashville. It was a mostly tense game despite the final, with the danger of a two-goal lead particularly looming over the Preds when the Jets had an early third-period power play. But...
OK, Roenick, That's Enough<em></em>
For exclusive videos, pictures, and more, like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter and Instagram. Send us your confidential tips at [email protected], call our confidential tips hotline at (347) 746-8471, contact our writers directly, or use our anonymous SecureDrop system....
Evgeny Kuznetsov Frees The Capitals From Playoff Hell<em></em>
For the first time ever, an Alexander Ovechkin Capitals team has both advanced past the NHL’s second round and beaten the Sidney Crosby Penguins in a playoff series. Evgeny Kuznetsov got the Game 6 series-ender in overtime, breaking the teams’ 1-1 tie off a turnover stolen by Ovechkin and passed acr...
Gorkys Hernandez Covers Himself In Shame While Trying To Rob A Homer<em></em>
The Phillies are wrecking the Giants tonight, but not even a double-digit run differential can inflict as much embarrassment on one player as Carlos Santana’s three-run dong did to San Francisco center fielder Gorkys Hernandez. When Santana blasted one to the deepest part of the ballpark, Hernandez ...
Lawsuit: USOC, USA Taekwondo Enabled "Sexual Abuse, Exploitation, And Trafficking" Of Athletes
A 132-page lawsuit filed last week says the U.S. Olympic Committee “has reached for commercial success at all costs by ignoring, denying, obstructing, or covering up complaints of sexual abuse.” It also accuses the USOC of “deferring and diverting investigations” and supporting the national governin...
White Sox Pitcher Danny Farquhar Is Home From The Hospital<em></em>
Over two weeks after he collapsed in the dugout during a game, White Sox relief pitcher Danny Farquhar has been discharged from the hospital and returned home, according to a statement released by the team today. Farquhar had suffered a brain hemorrhage from a ruptured aneurysm on April 20, after h...