w Page 3691 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Iowa State Blows It; UAB Wins By A Point
Fred Hoiberg's squad didn't get a second game to show off their style of play. Third-seeded Iowa State lost to UAB 60-59 after Naz Long's potential tying three missed, and the ball went in as a two-point shot with less than a second remaining. This was the Blazers' first tournament win since the...
Failure To Pay Office Pool Winnings Leads To Sad, Overwrought Email
This overwrought email, sent by the winner of a March Madness office pool to the irresponsible pool administrator who was dragging his or her feet with payouts, comes to us from a tipster who tells us that he dusts it off every March for a good chuckle. We don't blame him....
How to Cash Out Your Change
It's around 3 p.m., and I'm starting to run out of gas. My brain just has no juice. I'm a writer, and I work best in the mornings, so I try to be typing by 7:45 a.m., and with any luck I make it till 4 before the gears start to grind and the works gum up. But not today. Today, by like 3:15, the wo...
If You Like Overrated Teams That Will Let You Down, Root For Georgetown
Listen. My dad grew up in DC. My mom went to Georgetown, and was an extra in The Exorcist. College Allen Iverson is, in my opinion, the greatest basketball player of all time. I grew up playing ball with Austin Freeman. One of my best friends went to Georgetown, and another one is an assistant coach...
If You Like Not Being Scum, Root Against Coach K, Who Is Scum
Look. I hate Coach K. You hate Coach K. Everybody hates Coach K. Nobody needs a reason to root for somebody else—anybody else! Attila the Hun! Sauron! anybody!—to win the NCAA tournament. What I am saying is that you should actively root against Coach K. Root for his defeat. Root for his Virtue and ...
If You Want Blood And Guts, Root For Kentucky
Maybe you're one of those people who pushes all the difficulty sliders in your favor when you play NBA 2K15, or forces all the other teams to trade you their best players when you start up a Madden franchise. Maybe you only enjoy victory when it's achieved on the most destructive terms, your opponen...
LeBron James Called This Dwyane Wade Game-Winner
Old Man Dwyane Wade's been on a nice little run lately, averaging nearly 30 points per game over his last seven. He dropped 32 on the Portland Trail Blazers last night, the most important of which came by way of this smooth, game-winning jumper at the tail end of the fourth quarter. The Blazers prob...
Zack Wheeler Pitched With A Torn Tendon Last Season
On Monday, the Mets learned that promising young starter Zack Wheeler has a fully torn elbow ligament, and will miss the entire season. Today it was revealed that the 24-year-old workhorse pitched through pain last year, thanks to a partially torn tendon in that same right elbow. ...
Dallas Sportscaster Blasts The Cowboys For Signing Greg Hardy
The last time we checked in with Dallas sportscaster Dale Hansen, he was ripping into the football establishment for suggesting that Michael Sam would make things "uncomfortable" in the NFL. With the Cowboys having signed Greg Hardy—whose then-girlfriend Nicole Holder testified that Hardy strangle...
Always Wear Clean Undies
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....
Bhutan Wins Again! A Match Report From A Deadspin Reader In Bhutan
Bhutan pulled it off! The tiny landlocked Himalayan nation advanced to the second round of World Cup qualifying—where they could be placed into a pool with Asian heavyweights like Iran, Japan, or South Korea—by knocking off Sri Lanka 2-1 yesterday, winning the two-legged tie 3-1 on aggregate. The ...
Even The Chicago Cubs Are Owning Darren Rovell
You would think that after a career full of attempts at being clever on Twitter backfiring, living BrandBot Darren Rovell would give up the bantering aspect of the platform and stick to reporting on whichever 8,000 calorie food abomination is being introduced in a minor league ballpark near you. B...
The Cowboys Will Basically Pay Greg Hardy Per Game
Defensive lineman Greg Hardy, whose domestic abuse charges were dismissed in February after his accuser didn't show up to court, signed a one-year deal with the Dallas Cowboys today that can reach up to $13.1 million if all incentives are reached....
My Beloved Stuffed Animal Needs A Bath, And I'm A Nervous Wreck
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....
The Colts' New Rule Proposal: Touchdown Drives Worth Up To Nine Points
The NFL's Competition Committee plans to discuss proposals for rule changes with team owners at meetings next week, and this year, there's a particularly fun idea submitted by the Colts: If a team scores a touchdown, then successfully goes for two points, it can kick a bonus 50-yard field goal for...
Seth Davis Is Still Promoting His Mom's Hoax Cancer Cures
During BYU-Ole Miss, you might have been perplexed by this tweet from Sports Illustrated writer and CBS Sports analyst Seth Davis, after Cougar guard Chase Fisher did something good....
WGN Has Woman Make Sparks With Her Crotch In Front Of Awestruck Kids
This wonderful moment in local news history was broadcast recently on Chicago's WGN. Please note the children in the background....
If You Like Lanky, Versatile Big Men, Root For Frank Kaminsky
If the only skin you have in March Madness is the money you've invested in bracket pools, might I suggest paying attention to the 7-foot Midwesterner with the name of a 50-year-old plumber? Wisconsin's extremely talented forward Frank Kaminsky has led the 31-3 Badgers to their first-ever No. 1 see...
How To Bury Your Parents
Your mom is going to die. Your dad is also going to die....