w Page 3796 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Derek Jeter Hits Walk-Off In Final At-Bat At Yankee Stadium
Well, that happened. Here's a version without Bob Costas, using just the crowd audio track:...
Phil Hughes Turned Down The Twins' $500,000 Offer
Yesterday, a rain delay took Twins pitcher Phil Hughes out of the game one out shy of achieving a $500,000 innings-pitched contract bonus. Today, the Twins offered to make things right—and Hughes declined....
Mets Writer Notes Team Hasn't Balked All Year; Mets Immediately Balk
This is just beautiful:...
<em>Face/Off</em> Is Even Weirder And Radder Than You Remember
The great Hong Kong action director John Woo got to make a handful of English-language movies during his '90s Hollywood period. But he only ever got to make one true John Woo Movie here. That'd be 1997's Face/Off, an absolute nutball mega-budget pileup of all his favorite images (guys flying thr...
Why Football Players Crave Contact
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Illustration by Sam Woolley....
So Normal It Hurts: The Triumph And Tragedy Of Phil Hartman
There were few thrills in preadolescent life as dependable as the voice of Troy McClure. That first resoundingly confident "Hi!" triggered a Pavlovian response like no other single syllable: Here, without a doubt, comes a belly laugh....
This Church Song-And-Dance Is The Most Excruciating Thing I've Ever Seen
Oh God. Ohhhhh God. I hurt all over. I hurt all over and I want to die....
How Do Other Notable ESPN Suspensions Compare With Bill Simmons's?
ESPN dropped a three-week suspension TV personality and Grantland honcho Bill Simmons last night, somehow working that large stick even deeper into its collective anus. How does Simmons's punishment compare with other notable suspensions handed down by the ever-suspension-happy ESPN in the past?...
Alleged Striker Fails To Score Easiest Goal Ever
Philipp Hofmann of Kaiserslautern could've done anything else with the ball here and scored. He could've barely tapped it in almost any direction and it would've gone in. He could've tripped over in his wind-up and his face would've bungled it in. His only job was not to do exactly what he did....
Steve Ballmer Will Institute A No-Apple Policy For The Clippers
New Clippers owner Steve Ballmer is a Microsoft loyalist who joined the company in 1980 as its 30th employee. He's so loyal that he refuses to use anything created by Apple—he does not like Apple, man—and now it appears his personal policy is becoming his team's....
Man, Is ESPN Gonna Be Surprised When Nobody Shows Up For <em>GameDay</em>
(That's Tillman Hall, on the campus of Clemson University, which is not the University of South Carolina and is not in Columbia.)...
Two People With Nothing To Say About Sean Taylor
Sean Taylor: A Football Life will air tomorrow night on the NFL Network, and will chronicle the life and death of Taylor, who was fatally shot by burglars during a home invasion on Nov. 26, 2007. There is no better time—though there is no bad time—to remind you of the sneering and altogether shithea...
Stevie Johnson Drafted A Really Great Fantasy You Team
When you get down to it, it is kind of strange that we get together and pretend to collect teams of employees, and award them imaginary points for things they do at their jobs, just because they work in football. So 49ers WR Stevie Johnson decided to put together his own "fantasy work team," and I t...
A Rain Delay Cost Phil Hughes $500,000
Phil Hughes has been one of the only bright spots for the Twins, and one of the biggest surprises in baseball. After going eight innings yesterday, with five strikeouts and no walks, his K/BB ratio sits at an incredible 11.6/1—an MLB record for qualified pitchers. But if only Hughes could have gone ...
Mike Moustakas Catches Woman's Face Instead Of Foul Ball
One of the best things about baseball is that fans sit precisely zero feet away from the field. It's not great because fans get to watch the action from up close (though that's pretty cool too), but because fans get to be part of the action. That's what happened to this poor Indians fan in Wednesday...
<em>South Park</em> Trashes The Washington Redskins; Watch The Highlights
South Park's season premiered tonight with a take on the Washington Redskins nickname and its trademark cancellation. If you missed it, here are the best moments. (Note that they were quick to replace RG3—who appeared in last week's teaser—with Kirk Cousins.)...
ESPN Suspends Bill Simmons Three Weeks Over Goodell Criticism
Bill Simmons practically begged ESPN to suspend him, and the oafish and epically tight-assed media behemoth did just that Wednesday night, giving him three weeks for coming to the same conclusion about NFL commissioner Roger Goodell that just about everyone in the thinking public has....
Phil Jackson Says Melo Will Move The Ball. So Did These Guys.
"The ball can't stop," is definitionally just some flatulence squeezing out of a hundred basketball coaches at any given moment. But this week, it happens that Phil Jackson, the new Knicks boss messiah, said this while referring to Carmelo, the basketball player whom Jackson signed this offseason. ...
The Association For Women In Sports Media Will Keep The NFL's Money
Well, this is awkward. Since 2011, the NFL—no great friend to women, including the ones who work in sports media—has been a sponsor for the convention for AWSM, the Association for Women in Sports Media. How much does the NFL give? The league's last IRS tax form available online, from 2012, lists a...