w Page 3838 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Broncos Owner, Beset By Alzheimer's, Gives Up Control
Broncos majority owner Pat Bowlen will stand aside from running the team, the Broncos announced today, publicly acknowledging what most have known for a while: he is deep into the serious stages of Alzheimer's disease....

Chase Headley Meets New Team Mid-Game, Hits Walk-Off Single In 14th
That's newly-acquired Yankees third baseman Chase Headley meeting his new coaches and teammates for the first time since he was traded from the Padres earlier in the day. He had to catch a flight from Chicago, where San Diego was set to play the Cubs, so he was not expected to get to the stadium o...

This Ronaldo GIF Is Stupefying, Perfect
There is surely an explanation, but just watch this for one moment, unadulterated by context, and enjoy it. It's wonderful. The inexplicable behavior from the host and Ronaldo's 1,000-yard stare momentarily interrupted by a blink that says what the actual fuck? Amazing....

Seahawks Mascot Stutter-Steps, 49ers Fan Falls Like A Sack Of Potatoes
The bounce. The bounce is what makes this particularly humiliating for the San Francisco fan and absolutely wonderful for the rest of us. That it comes as he tries to adjust his pants while a furry mascot crosses him up is but a delicious, added bonus. ...

Jack White And The Chicago Cubs Experience
It's the party of the century and Jack White is turned all the way up to 11 for it. ...

This Is A Browns Fan Pissing On Art Modell's Grave
How do you turn Art Modell into a sympathetic figure? You don an Ed Reed Ravens jersey (to fool people who might find a dude in a Browns jersey visiting Art Modell's grave suspicious, natch), hold your pee for a while, get yourself a catheter, and then dramatically reveal your hidden Lyle Alzado jer...

Maria Kirilenko On Dumping Alex Ovechkin Over Instagram Photo: Nyet
In case you haven't heard, Alex Ovechkin and tennis player Maria Kirilenko announced their split Monday. Goodbye, incredibly athletic Russian power couple. An SI report said that the breakup occurred over Ovechkin's Instagram photo with another girl, but according to Kirilenko, that's false....

Jets Fans Can Earn Rewards Points For Not Being Assholes
The Jets have announced a new rewards program for its season-ticket holders, in which they can win things like Super Bowl tickets and a ride on the team's charter flight. All it'll take to accrue points is to show up, and not to be ejected from MetLife Stadium for being a drunken, belligerent mess. ...

Warm Your Heart With A Supercut Of Kids Swearing In Movies
There's something disarming about a little kid swearing. It's shocking and delightful at the same time, even though it's not supposed to be encouraged. That's real life, though. This supercut of children cursing in movies, however, can be enjoyed without guilt. Embrace the profanity, especially "bun...

West Virginia's Starting Quarterback Has A Cool Thought About Women
Cool thought, Clint Trickett. Super cool thought....

What's Karl Marx Doing In These Arguments Against College Athlete Pay?
Bob Bowlsby is a man with a very influential job. He is the commissioner of the Big 12 conference, one of the so-called power conferences that helps set policy for major college football. He also harbors a belief that is most commonly associated with pre-20th-century economics, and has really on...

And Now, A Lively Interaction Between Darren Rovell And A Twitter User
It starts, as it always does, with a completely useless Darren Rovell tweet:...

The Top 200 Ways Bleacher Report Screwed Me Over
A month before I turned 21, I returned home from the Bay Area, where I was attending college, to celebrate Thanksgiving with my family in Minnesota. On a Tuesday evening, I was sitting in the living room, about to head upstairs to go to bed, when my phone buzzed with a text from Dave Finocchio, fo...

How To Ditch The Pillsbury Dough-Log And Make Your Own Cookies
Ah, the chocolate-chip cookie. Many a confectionery addiction kicked off the moment an impressionable youngster watched a vulgar blue puppet shovel platefuls of these things into his gaping, vacant mouth-hole. This obsession probably also explains why the Sexy Cookie Monster costume exists. (Relate...

How To Legitimize Bigotry: Embrace Debate
This morning, Stephen A. Smith and Skip Bayless shouted at each other about Tony Dungy's comments that Michael Sam's sexuality would be an overriding distraction in an NFL locker room, and whether it was a bigger distraction that Michael Vick's return from prison. I'm sorry, that's the worst sente...

NBA Draft Prospect Skips College For China (And $1.2 Million)
Point guard Emmanuel Mudiay has the potential to be a lottery pick in next year's NBA draft, but he won't be spending a year in college before going pro. Mudiay's taking his talents to China for the required year between high school and the NBA, and he's getting a hefty chunk of money for his effort...

Daughter-In-Law Of Nike Founder Arrested On Student Sex Charges
Melissa Bowerman, high school track coach and daughter-in-law of Nike founder Bill Bowerman, is again facing allegations of improper relations with a student. But this time the charges are serious and Bowerman is behind bars. ...

Man Who Helped Kill Women's Pro Soccer Dies While Playing Soccer
Early this morning rumors began to swirl that Dan Borislow, the millionaire entrepreneur whose legal war with Women's Professional Soccer was instrumental in bringing about the league's demise, had died at the age of 52. Bloomberg has since confirmed that Borislow died last night of a heart attack a...

The Marlins' Nickname For Casey McGehee Is Just A Modified Boob Joke
Nobody really pays much attention to the Miami Marlins, so we are guessing that not nearly enough people are aware of infielder Casey McGehee's nickname: "Hits McGehee."...

Marshawn Lynch Apparently Ropes Off His Lamborghini When He Parks
If this Twitter user is to be believed, Seahawks running back Marshawn Lynch uses velvet ropes to cordon off his Lamborghini Aventador Roadster when he parks. Are there always velvet ropes in his car, or does someone else bring them for him?...