w Page 3905 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
<em>Empire Of Derp</em>: Your Heartbreaking Knicks Season In Review Montage
We'll remember so much about this NBA regular season, but most Knicks executives, players, and fans would like to forget it all. To prevent that from ever happening, we've prepared this montage of the Knicks' 2013-2014 season's most memorable moments....
So, Why Was John Calipari Hanging Out With Tucker Max?
It may have been the worst Tweet ever. A photo of internet ur-bro Tucker Max just chilling on a private jet with Kentucky pomade model John Calipari. How the hell did this happen? Short answer: Max paid for it....
Masahiro Tanaka And His Splitter Are Not Fucking Around
In the third start of his major-league career, Masahiro Tanaka struck out 10 Cubs in eight innings. In each of his two previous starts, he pitched seven innings, striking out eight batters against the Blue Jays and 10 batters against the Orioles. That's 28 strikeouts in 22 innings for the 25-year-ol...
The <em>New York Times</em> Turns Soccer Fandom Into A Trend
Goddammit. You just want to enjoy a perfectly fine sport, and here comes the Times' style section, bent on fetishizing pseudo-intellectual soccer fandom to the point where you're forced to reconsider your choice of fellow travelers. Read this and recoil....
YEAH JEETS!
Derek Jeter does not support arguing balls and strikes....
Rare Video Of People Actually Riding Action Park's Infamous Water Slide
No theme park has generated more urban legends—and more confusion about the line between myth and actual, horrible reality—than Action Park, the late, lamented (and since semi-resurrected) water park in northern New Jersey. And no ride has been the subject of more rumors than the Cannonball Loop....
Disney's <em>Bears</em>: Bears Watching
There is a lot to like about Bears, the latest cinematic offering from Disneynature. There is much to dislike as well, but you'll be fine if you approach the viewing experience from the proper point of view. That point of view being that bears are great, and watching them do bear stuff is also great...
Atlanta Burned Again
Later on today, MLS will officially announce Atlanta as its latest expansion franchise. Massive City FFC, a Columbus Crew supporters group, did not wait to extend a friendly welcome, with the help of Ohio's native son, General William Tecumseh Sherman:...
That Isn't Derrick Rose, Sir (It's LeBron James)
Your family member takes a photo with a basketball star and you want to share it with the world....
Keith Hernandez Ogled A Fan Eating A Hot Dog
"I wasn't talking about the hot dog." There's nothing, nothing better in sportscasting than the awkward silence after one member of a broadcast booth decides to let you know he likes a fan's breasts....
Everything The Cops Didn't Do In The Jameis Winston Rape Investigation
"I believe that Mr. Winston cannot be convicted," Florida's chief assistant state attorney tells the Times. "I don't necessarily believe that he's innocent." ...
The Dickens of Detroit
Oh, goody. Over at Grantland, Michael Weinreb writes about Elmore's Detroit:...
US Airways Explains How That Plane-In-A-Vagina Photo Happened
Thanks to the New York Daily News, we finally know why the US Airways Twitter account shared an image of a woman sticking a model airplane into her vagina with its followers. The answer? Whoever was running the account was trying to flag the image as inappropriate and ended up inadvertently includin...
So Apparently Blake Griffin Is A Young Earth Creationist
There's an interview with Blake Griffin in the latest issue of Rolling Stone that contains one particularly alarming bit of information. It appears that Blake Griffin is a hardcore, Jesus-rode-a-dinosaur-type creationist. ...
Brittney Griner Says Baylor Wasn't A Good Place To Be Gay
Brittney Griner came out early in high school, but while being recruited, was concerned that her sexuality would be an issue at Baylor, a Baptist school. "Big Girl, I don't care what you are," Griner said her future coach Kim Mulkey told her. "You can be black, white, blue, purple, whatever. As long...
Coverage Of Somber Boston Marathon Tribute Marred By Photog's "Fuck!"
CNN, which can't seem to get anything right these days, ruined another bit of coverage today when what appeared to be a moment of silence during Boston's marathon bombing memorial tribute today was interrupted by what sounds like a cursing cameraman....
Drunk Red Sox Fan Heckles Yankee Fans, Speaks In Tongues
This very confused young man, who seems to think that Dez Bryant has something to do with the Boston Red Sox and that people can actually understand the words that are coming out of his mouth, was spotted at Sunday's game between the Red Sox and Yankees. He probably had too much to drink....
Why Do Most College Football Kickers Suck? Chris Kluwe Explains.
So Drew asked me to fill in for him on this week's Funbag, because apparently as an unemployed former punter I'm supposed to have oodles of free time to do his job while he goes off and teaches his kids how to cook meth with his neighbor Chad, or whatever the fuck it is parenting entails in Yonkers....