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The <em>Other</em> Existential Threat To The NFL: RedZone Channel
Every December, we near the end of the NFL season and the coming of Festivus, a wonderful holiday that begins with an airing of grievances. It's a holiday we inflict on loved ones, because only loved ones teach us to feel a profound peevishness. The hidden wage of loving is having to pay close, agon...

Jake LaMotta Is 90 Years Old And About To Get Married For The Seventh Time
There's no getting down boxing's real-life Raging Bull, and the New York Post has heard things: former middleweight champ Jake LaMotta, age 90, plans to marry Denise Baker, his fiancée of the last dozen years or so, on Jan. 4 in Bisbee, Ariz. It will be LaMotta's seventh wedding, and the Post says B...

The Vikings Ended Practice With A Breakdancing Circle
It's likely a lost season for the Vikings (though, perhaps, not for their quarterback). Does that mean they can't have fun? No, no it does not....

New York City Nightclub DJs Will Not Stop Tormenting Kris Humphries
This story from the New York Daily News' gossip blog would make you feel bad for Kris Humphries if there wasn't something so undeniably hateable about him (it's mostly his face). Apparently, Humphries was trolled by two DJs at an NYC night club (the same one in which Tony Parker got his eye gouged ...

The Knicks Tried To Trade Amar'e Stoudemire For Basically Anyone
Yesterday, Howard Beck of The New York Times wrote about the impending return of Amar'e Stoudemire to the New York Knicks. Most of the story is about the problems that Beck foresees coming along with Stoudemire's return, but buried within it is this bit of information:...

The Year's Best Stories About Wrestler Run-Ins
Inspired by the saga of "Wrestling Superstar Virgil," we collected our readers' encounters with the titans of the squared circle. These are the best of the year, in no particular order....

The Best Videos Of The Week
A bunch of cows survived a car crash, Tony Parker faked everyone out, A soccer player took a kick to the nuts, Kenneth Faried blew chunks, and a pigeon crashed a football game. Here are the best videos of the week....

Shitballs And Bucketloads Of Cunt: The Year In Cursing
George Carlin's been dead for four years, but that doesn't mean the scourge of cursing on television is beyond us. Indeed, it was a regrettable year for foul language of both the intentional and unintentional varieties. Here's a sample of what corrupted our children's ears in 2012, with links bel...

Does <em>A Charlie Brown Christmas</em> Suck? A Very Deadspin Debate
It's Christmastime again, and, as such, your TV will be running some Peanuts specials throughout this week and weekend. If you have kids, you may not be able to escape them—the specials, that is. Could it be worse? We debated the matter last year:...

The Czar Of The Telestrator Has His Own Custom-Branded Chocolate Bars
The Inside The NBA hosts swapped holiday gifts at the end of last night's show, with a special gift to the show's staff from longtime coach and analyst Mike Fratello. Not only does the logo in these extra-large chocolate bars bear the Czar's moniker, but look closely and you'll see there's an actua...

Serena Williams And Her Coach Had A Nice Boat Trip
Patrick Mouratoglou is Serena Williams's (French) coach. He's the shirtless man in this photo who isn't prune-shriveled. There are so many questions we have about the circumstances of this image, but we anticipate our questions remaining unanswered. So we will call your attention instead to the two ...

Here Are Some Photos Of J.J. Watt Bro-ing Down At The Club
The Texans clinched the AFC South with Sunday's win over the Colts, and defensive end J.J. Watt was eager to celebrate after the game. Those brash boozehounds over at Shot of Ginn have six photos of Watt bringing the cool to what looked like a swell time at the 5th Amendment in Houston, and we sugge...

The Raiders Plan To Use Terrelle Pryor Substantially On Sunday, Because Fuck It, Why Not?
So the 4-10 Raiders, with their expensive veteran quarterback and whiz-kid coach, aren't making the playoffs. At least they're trying something new now. Per Vic Tafur of the San Francisco Chronicle, offensive coordinator Greg Knapp plans to deploy third-string quarterback Terrelle Pryor on Sunday in...

Resistance Is Futile. <em>Les Misérables</em>, Reviewed
As someone who hasn't read the Victor Hugo novel and is only vaguely familiar with the musical based on it, I can't say I went into director Tom Hooper's version of Les Misérables with any expectations or cultural baggage. I suspect that's part of the reason why the film worked for me—or, at the ver...

Jabari Parker, The Nation's No. 2 Basketball Recruit, Committed To Duke For The Dukiest Reasons Possible
Well, Duke is still doing Duke things, apparently. If you thought the nation's top black Mormon whose father played in the NBA would commit to some other school—like Michigan State, say, or BYU—you were truly mistaken. He is the Dukiest Dukie that ever Duked. Consider this, from Jeff Benedict's stor...

Donald Fehr: "All The Giving Has Been Done By The Players"
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Want some lockout optimism? Don't read this interview....

ESPN Suspends Rob Parker For A Month
After taking a week to think about it, ESPN has hit Rob Parker with a 30-day suspension for his "brother or cornball brother?" comments. Also, ESPN is promising "enhanced editorial oversight" over the show, which means ... well, I'm not sure what. In a statement, Marcia Keegan, vice president of pro...

Mini-Virgilbag Bonus Content: I Was Virgil For 45 Minutes
The Virgilbag is dead and it's never coming back. But we were sent this story and we liked it, so here you go....

Fat Chipper Jones Is Throwing A Horrible Super Bowl Party
You will recall that a grown man who called himself "Chipper" used to play third base for the Atlanta Braves. You will recall, too, that he is fat and dates a Playboy model. He also has a Twitter feed. And an upcoming Super Bowl party. What a Super Bowl party it is....

Oregon Football Boosters Are Mad That Chip Kelly Doesn't Hang Out With Them
The Chip Kelly era has brought the Oregon Ducks to two Rose Bowls and a BCS Championship Game in three seasons—and a Fiesta Bowl appearance this season—so it'd seem difficult to complain about the then-unknown New Hampshire offensive coordinator who took over a Pac-10 program. And yet, some of the ...