w Page 4397 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Rhino Fart Just Demolishes Morning Newscast
Hoo boy, if you weren't watching Kickin' It With Kenny on today's Fox 8 Cleveland news, you missed out. Never fear: here's the moment when mama rhino Kibibbi let fly during her morning hosedown. That's 1.3 tons of rhino rumbling your speakers and sending reporter Kenny Crumpton into a giggle fit f...
Clinton Portis, Coach Janky Spanky, Sheriff Gonna Getcha, Southeast Jerome, Dolla Bill, Dr. Do Itch Big, Bro Sweets, Prime Minister Yah Mon, Bud Foxx, Coconut Jones, And Choo-Choo All Announce Their NFL Retirements
Clinton Portis, who last played through an injury-plagued year in 2010, will officially announce his retirement Thursday at a news conference at Redskins Park. Portis was fabulous for the better part of seven seasons in Denver and Washington, but his legacy might suffer from the fact that he played ...
Georgia May Have To Self-Report NCAA Violation After Dumbass Fan Calls Recruit
Steven Nelson is a cornerback for the College of the Sequoias, and as a three-star recruit on Rivals.com is one of the more anticipated juco transfers coming out after this season. He committed to Georgia back in February, but is keeping his options open and touring other interested schools. He repo...
Mike Francesa Is Back From Vacation And All He's Seeing Are "Lights Blinking On And Off"
Mike Francesa is back on the air this week after his annual insanely long summer break. It seems like he's a little grumpy about being back. Something something blinking lights? Headsets not working? Red lights on and off. Dear reader, today we got a look into Mike Francesa's soul....
Ask An Anonymous PR Guy About The Shady Work Of Being A Pro Athlete's Publicist
Gang, meet Anonymous PR Guy. Anonymous PR Guy, say hello to the gang. Anonymous PR Guy is an actual publicist for a handful of pro athletes, and in exchange for his anonymity, he's agreed to share a few stories with us about what his job is really like. We've always wondered, and now we know: He's a...
British Texas Rangers Fan Interviewed During Last Night's Broadcast Thinks The Team Is "Lovely Jubblies"
Jim Knox's interviews with fans during Texas Rangers telecasts have become a bit of legend around here, and he continued his streak of finding interesting individuals last night when he came across a boisterous Brit with a love for the Rangers. (We encourage you to Google 'Lovely Jubblies,' thoug...
"When I Get A Clear Shot...": 25 Years Ago, Dale Earnhardt Received This Death Threat For His Ornery Driving
On May 17, 1987, Dale Earnhardt Sr. and Bill Elliott swapped paint and made a place for themselves in NASCAR lore. The Winston, a newly created all-star race at Charlotte Motor Speedway, came down to a sprint, with Earnhardt and Elliott jockeying for the lead. After bumping and nudging for two laps,...
Here Are A Bunch Of Photos Of Tom Brady Being Weird With A Dog
Tom Brady didn't play in last night's Patriots-Eagles game, which means that New Englanders need to look elsewhere for their fill of the golden boy. He will not appear in WHDH b-roll, he will not call into Dennis & Callahan, he will not appear below the fold on the front page of the Hartford Courant...
The Genius Of <em>Enemy Of The State</em>, Tony Scott's Best Film
In the reaction to the sudden death of Tony Scott, a quick consensus emerged: Scott was a more interesting director than he'd been given credit for throughout his career; Top Gun and his general style helped usher in the age of Michael Bay and Olivier Megaton-ism; and the one movie everyone could ag...
What's ESPN Hiding Under Its Desk?
Yes, that's just a screen grab of Scott Van Pelt, Todd Blackledge, and Kirk Herbstreit on the air last night breaking down something or other about the upcoming college football season. But shift your gaze downward, toward the display ads on the front of the table at which they're sitting. The World...
Nothing Better Illustrates The Futility Of Replacement Refs Than This Video Of One Being Hit By A Football
Jerry Frump wore the white hat for last night's Patriots-Eagles preseason game, and like all of this year's replacement-refereed games it was a bit of a disaster for the zebras. While players openly voice concern for their health in games managed by scabs, the NFL seems perfectly content to head i...
Little Leaguer: ESPN Changed My Player Bio To List My Favorite Show As <em>SportsCenter</em> Instead Of <em>The Dan Patrick Show</em> [UPDATE: It Was A Gag]
Will Lucas from Fairfield, Conn., threw a no-hitter in the Little League World Series yesterday and was invited on the The Dan Patrick Show today to talk about it....
Why Your Team Sucks 2012: Detroit Lions
Some people are fans of the Detroit Lions. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Detroit Lions. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here....
"They Represented Canada Well": Sad Things Said Yesterday By Managers Of Eliminated Little League Teams
The Little League World Series is going on, you realized over the weekend, as you scrolled through your digital cable guide. That means ESPN is lying about fastball velocities and kids' dreams are getting crushed. They will never become Chris Drury or Todd fucking Frazier. They'll just sit around, t...
Melky Cabrera's Fake Website Sent MLB Investigators All The Way To The Dominican Republic
Can we all just take a second and appreciate how batshit insane Melky Cabrera's scheme to get out of a PED suspension really was? Like, legitimately incredible. In five years, it's going to be hard to believe this is a thing that actually happened. Like Jason Grimsley crawling through the Comiskey d...
Steven Jackson Will Crumple Like A Duraflame Log: The Deadspin 2012 NFC Fantasy Football Preview
I used to plan my fantasy football drafts meticulously. I used to create spreadsheets with my own personal rankings of players, established only after poring over any number of inexplicably pricey preseason fantasy guides (Eight dollars, Street & Smith's? BLOW ME) and scouring numerous online mock d...
The Hatfield Pig Is Here To Share His Cannibalistic Goodness With Phillies Fans
During your average Phillies broadcast, the freakiest thing you're likely to see is some antic of the Phanatic. Maybe, if you're lucky, a fight will break out in the Citizens Bank Park cheap seats....
Michael Vick Injured Again, Knocked Out Of Preseason Game [UPDATE]
A week after being injured in the Eagles' first preseason game, Michael Vick once again made an early exit after suffering a massive hit from New England defensive end Jermaine Cunningham in the first quarter of tonight's game in Foxborough....
Rick Sutcliffe Wants Melky Cabrera Deported
And here we thought the dumbest thing to happen since Melky tested positive for taking testosterone was that Melky and his crew had cooked up a fake website to try to prove his innocence. Pshaw. Melky has not been charged with a crime, but that's of no concern to ESPN baseball analyst/sheriff Rick...
Wait, The Chiefs Managed To Keep Tamba Hali's Arrest Hidden For This Long?
Earlier today, the NFL announced that Chiefs OLB Tamba Hali will be suspended for one game and lose two game checks. That was all the detail we had. The league's policy clearly dictates four games for performance-enhancing drugs, so it wasn't that. Greg Aiello said the violation "isn't defined speci...