w Page 4539 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
What Happens When A 35-Year-Old Man Retakes The SAT?
I took the SAT a grand total of one time when I was in dipshit prep school. This was 1993. Like any other kid, I wanted to do well on the test, primarily so that I would NEVER have to take it again, but also because kids at my school were real dicks about their SAT scores. You'd hear through the gra...
New Nets Arena Will Sell "Brooklyn Water" That's Made In Florida
"Made," obviously, getting scare quotes because it's water. In fact, let's use some more scare quotes. The Barclays Center, as part of its stated goal to use local vendors and products, will sell "Brooklyn Water" that's bottled in Florida but "Brooklynized," then shipped to Brooklyn. Where the Nets ...
C.J. Wilson Tweets Mike Napoli's Phone Number. It's Less "Good Prank, Guy" And More "Wow, Dick Move."
Oh good, I see we've reached that point of spring training where everyone's bored and ready for real baseball to start. Tis the silly season, when online personality and sometime pitcher C.J. Wilson takes to Twitter and posts former teammate Mike Napoli's cell phone number to the world....
Bristolmetrics: The Week We Watched ESPN Savor Its Own Farts With "Peytonology"
This is a regular feature breaking down, minute-by-minute, the content that appears on ESPN's 11 p.m. edition of SportsCenterthroughout the week. Graphic by Jim Cooke....
Miguel Cabrera Bleeds All Over The Infield After Taking Grounder To The Face
Cabrera, by necessity the Tigers' new third baseman, got a rude welcome to the hot corner in today's spring training game in Clearwater. A Hunter Pence grounder took a bad hop and caught Cabrera directly in the sunglasses, which cut open his cheek and ruined a perfectly good uniform with human blo...
John Elway Has Brass Balls
Whether or not you agree with an NFL team handing a potential $60 million in guarantees to a guy who has neck leprosy, I think that we can come to a consensus on one thing: John Elway has really big balls. HUGE balls. Balls the size of light bulbs. His balls are so big, you could harvest stem cells ...
Arizona Newscaster Hears Manning Signed With Denver, Lets Out A Big Old "Fuck!" [Update]
Sometimes you can't hide your emotions. Kaley O'Kelley of Good Morning Arizona certainly couldn't, when she found out that Peyton Manning had eschewed the Cardinals for the Denver Broncos. (Unspoken subtext: "Fuck! Kevin Kolb.") [via Jimmy Traina]...
Grading The Pundits' Brackets: Jay Bilas And Barack Obama Will Make You Money, Seth Davis And LeBron James Will Lose It
With the first two rounds of March Madness complete, let's see how the pundits fared with their brackets. We scored pundits from ESPN, Yahoo, Sports Illustrated, and CBS Sports, throwing in President Obama, LeBron James, and Nick Lachey for good fun (all three made their brackets available on ESPN)....
Here Are Some Angry Letters People Sent To The FCC After M.I.A. Flipped Off The Super Bowl
Maybe this doesn't need to be said, but normal people don't complain to the FCC. It's not that they don't get offended: it's just that it takes a hell of a lot more to offend them than the sort of thing that actually makes it on television. Like M.I.A. slipping a middle finger past NBC censors. Not ...
The D Train Doesn't Stop Here Anymore: Farewell, Dontrelle Willis, Crazy-Armed Everyman
The pitchers who wow us these days don't remind us of anything familiar. Most of MLB's sharpest aces—Justin Verlander, Jered Weaver, Roy Halladay, Clayton Kershaw, and C.C. Sabathia—were first-round picks, blessed with a freakish ability to throw much harder than their competitors, and groomed for m...
Gwar Lead Singer Oderus Urungus Sat In On <em>The Dan Patrick Show</em> Today, And It Was Weird
Commenting on topics as wide-ranging as the NCAA tournament, Peyton Manning's future, and "Canadian twit" Avril Lavigne, Gwar lead singer Oderus Urungus spent an hour on-set of The Dan Patrick Show this morning....
Report: Peyton Manning To Sign With The Broncos
Adam Schefter and Chris Mortensen were first with the news. OMG LET'S BRACE OURSELVES FOR TIM TEBOW TRADE RUMORS. At a time like this, it's important to remember the words of Matthew 26:34: "'I tell you the truth,' Jesus answered, 'this very night, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three ...
Did A 16-Year-Old Mass. Lass Hook Up With Rob Gronkowski One Steamy Night In Aruba?
According to the filthy minds at Busted Coverage, a young woman from Scituate, Mass. recently tweeted thusly about a Gronkquest:...
The Dolphins Have Spent An Offseason Humiliating Themselves
Believe me when I tell you that I say this with zero malice: the Dolphins are a pathetic franchise at the moment. It's not so much that two weeks ago they were certain they were going to have Peyton Manning throwing to Brandon Marshall and Reggie Wayne, and now they may have to content themselves wi...
When Irish Eyes Are Swollen: How Sergio Martinez Beat Matthew Macklin On St. Patrick's Day
Reputations are hard to earn. And they're hard to keep. They come with benefits. But they can also hang on a fighter like a chain, an extra burden in a sport that's hard enough as it is. Reputations can't be carried throughout a fight. They must be shed like a robe and donned again when the fight is...
Sweetness Follows: Crazy-Faced Kansas Fan And The Other Mugs Of March Madness, Day Four
We've found the father of Alabama fan Jack "The Face" Blankenship, and surprisingly he is a Jayhawks fan. Here's the best—and worst—faces from yesterday's March Madness action. ...
Charles Barkley Couldn't Wait To Watch Hardcore Porn On TruTV
Charles Barkley provides no insight as a studio analyst for the NCAA tournament, but that's kind of the point. He's there because he's entertaining, because he doesn't take himself too seriously, because every now and then, he just might say something like what he says in the video above....
The Mets' Owners Have Reached A Settlement With The Bernie Madoff Bankruptcy Trustee
The federal trial was supposed to begin this morning, but Richard Sandomir of The New York Times tweeted that the Wilpons and Saul Katz have instead reached a settlement that will cost them $162 million. Irving Picard, the trustee representing the victims of Bernie Madoff's Ponzi scheme, had been se...
The Baltimore Orioles Are Not Welcome In Korea
Back in February, the Orioles pissed off an entire baseballing nation with their pursuit of a South Korean high school pitcher. Flaunting Flouting the rules and risking an international incident is probably worth it for a young lefty with great control. Except it didn't go that way. The Korean Baseb...
After Evading The Law Twice, Zach Bogosian Should Finally Have To Face The Shanaban (Update)
In November, Bogosian dropped Cody Eakin with an elbow across the head. It was arguably clean. In December, Bogoian wrecked Pierre-Marc Bouchard face-first into the boards. It was very arguably dirty. Both times, Bogosian escaped suspension....