w Page 4756 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

We Are All Dave McKenna LXXXIV
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass front office wastes a second-round pick on Dan Snyder's dumbass libel lawsuit, and then cuts it because it's even worse than Devin Thomas....

NFL Lockout Back On (For Serious This Time)
First everyone reported that the 8th Circuit Court had issued a stay, putting the lockout back on. But then everyone said that, oops, no, nothing was decided yet. Well now they decided. Lockout!...

Manny Ramirez Isn't Really Going Away
Perhaps you thought Manny Ramirez had faded away into that flickering twilight, where we'd reminisce about what a truly spectacular athlete he was. Some folks, Joe Posnanski foremost among them, would argue for Manny's Hall of Fame credentials, while others would want him nowhere near Cooperstown....

MLB Actually Has A Rule About Using Twitter After Being Ejected
Ozzie Guillen was fined and suspended two games for a sort-of-off-the-field incident Wednesday. Soon after being ejected arguing balls and strikes in the first inning, Guillen fired off two Tweets: "This one is going to cost me a lot of money this is patetic." and: "Today a tough guy show up at yank...

Falcons GM Tries To Justify Julio Jones
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the price was dear, but good teams just don't get players as good as Jones in the draft....

Josh Smith Responds To "Crazy Bandwagon Columnist" Who Guaranteed Hawks Would Blow Series Lead
Three days ago, when the Atlanta Hawks were leading the Orlando Magic three games to two in their series, Mike Bianchi of the Orlando Sentinel wrote a column that predicted the Hawks would squander the lead and that included the phrase "Call me a crazy bandwagon columnist." So we'll go ahead and c...

Vancouver Sun Columnist Has Transparent Crush On Sedin Twins
Maybe they do things weird up there, but this story (headline: "Daniel cements his Hart throb status"), by the Sun's Cam Cole, seems an unlikely way to tell Canuck fans that their team's top scorer is an MVP finalist....

Royal Wedding Wins Race
Hours after simpleton Middleton and doubly-crowned Prince William wed today, a horse named Royal Wedding won the 5.30 steeplechase at Fontwell, Sussex by three lengths. If this was fixed, it was at a great cost: bookies are predicting a multi-million pound payout, because everyone the world over bel...

Paul Shirley And The Fat Woman Get Political
You remember Paul Shirley. We once described him as a "onetime baller, sometime music critic and all-around man of letters." At the time we were discussing his controversial freelance piece on post-earthquake Haiti, and certain points like asking them to "use a condom once in a while."...

Of Pomp And Circumstance
Look, I know you're sick of this, but I think it's worth noting even for the millionth time just what kind of big, dumb spectacle we all watched slackjawed on our stupid televisions: an overhyped and overproduced orgy of excess and inexplicable weeping presided over by a pious relic that perpetuates...

Lockout's Back On (UPDATE: Maybe Sort Of Not Yet)
Sorry, folks....

A Brief Examination Of Mick Foley's EBay Firesale
In an attempt to help his son "put gas in the car," lovable polymath wrestler Mick Foley has put up his entire boyhood sports memorabilia collection through a seller on eBay. Dude Love is clearly a sports fan. He was an active collector in the early 1970s, focused on baseball and basketball. He's se...

Maple Leafs' Swedish Goalie Prospect Is A Terrible Rapper
Toronto signed Mark "In Da Park" Owuya, a 21-year-old goalie prospect from Sweden, to an entry-level contract on Thursday. Last season, Da Park had a 2.18 goals-against average and a .927 save percentage in goal for Djurgarden, of the Swedish Elite League....

Soccer Team Signs One-Year-Old After Audition Goes Viral
Maybe you're one of the three-plus million folks who saw Baerke van der Meij putting away his toys with some well-placed boots. Adorable, right? Dutch Eredivise side VVV saw it too, and saw a future strike....

Deion Sanders May Have Found A New Football-Playing Host Upon Which He Can Attach
Your morning roundup for April 29, the day "special cookies" in zip-lock freezer bags got real....

Your Royal Wedding Open Thread
Right, so this is about to happen. Don't even pretend like you've above this, because you watch pro sports, and there's nothing less inherently important than pro sports. Also, David Beckham got an invite, so this is relevant....

More Baseball Fans Care About Andre Ethier's Bowels Than Chipper Jones's Switch-Hitting Prowess
In tipster Zachary P.'s estimation, the difference between Andre Ethier's hit streak and Andre Ethier' shit streak is minimal. It is....

This Is Exactly What You'd Expect Jerry Jones's "War Room" To Look Like, Isn't It?
Tipster Eric asks, "Was there a little person in the Cowboys war room or a teenager?" That's easy. Totally a kid. Here's the important question: What were Isaac Chroner's specific instructions when he helped the lad* infiltrate the Dallas organization?...

We Are All Dave McKenna LXXXIII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit realizes it has less balls than a castrato....

Roger Goodell Silences Boos, "We Want Football" Chants With A Moment Of Silence
Both Cam Newton, your #1 pick, and Goodell got heartily booed by the New York crowd. And then The Commish segued into a moment of silence for the tornados in the south. Well played, Rog....