w Page 4766 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
There's A Teenage German Girl Who Rides Cows Like They're Horses
Regina Mayer's parents wouldn't buy her a horse so she went into the family barn, picked out cow and cultivated a loving, respectful relationship. Today, Regina climbs upon Luna's back and engages in a modified version of eventing near the Austrian border....
The Dodgers Seemingly Want Their Fans To Stop Beating People Into Comas
Six days after a San Francisco Giants fan was brutally beaten outside Dodger Stadium, former LAPD Chief William Bratton has been hired to review security at and around the park. Said team owner Frank McCourt, Bratton will "lead a top-to-bottom review of our current practices and make recommendation...
We Are All Dave McKenna LXII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit gets ejected from the court system like the foul meconium that it is....
LeBron James Gets Stake In Liverpool, Joins Unofficial Club For The Filthy Rich
LeBron James is smiling because even after an embarrassing hour-long ESPN special this summer that maligned him to the majority of humans not residing in South Beach, and even after his hometown fans burned his Cleveland jerseys and turned his name into a curse word, and even after his new team face...
Kyrie Irving Ignores Obnoxious Dookie Letter, Chooses To Enter NBA Draft
Alert the Dookies: independent, self-acting human Kyrie Irving has elected to enter the NBA Draft, coach Mike Krzyzewski announced today. The freshman guard was not swayed by sarcasm. We just hope he heeds Drew's request for his departing act. [GoDuke.com]...
The Epic Story Of A New Jersey Prosecutor Who Stole My Idea And Made Fantasy Baseball History
"I got Rickey Henderson and Roger Clemens."...
Cats vs. Dogs: We Have A Winner!
So it was written, and so it was done. Corgi, winner of the Dog Conference, has narrowly defeated Cat Conference champ Tuxedo. It took blood, sweat, and thousands of votes, but now it's official: DOGS ARE BETTER. Canines are the superior pet, plain and simple. But getting here wasn't easy. [Jezebel]...
Wahhhhhhhhh You Put Politics In My Sports!
Last week, we posted this column making fun of Gregg Easterbrook's criticism of President Obama filling out a bracket. Now, this wasn't really a political post. It was a post designed to say to horrible things about Gregg Easterbrook, which I'd argue is a nonpartisan cause. But here is what happens ...
Sherrie Daly Identifies The "Four Groups Of Hookers" On The PGA Tour
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: everyone is old and mellow and past the bat-throwing incident....
![Karen Sypher's Lawyers May Need A Refresher Course On Law's Finer Points [CORRECTION]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18j51fw71y5fojpg.jpg)
Karen Sypher's Lawyers May Need A Refresher Course On Law's Finer Points [CORRECTION]
Last we heard of Rick Pitino extortionist Karen Sypher's legal counsel, she was performing oral sex on him in his office. But that lawyer testified against her in her trial, so things weren't working out so well there....
Chicago's Marty Turco Uses Bench Time To Place Bets With Fans, Write "Turco Rules!" On $5 Bills
Marty Turco signed a one-year contract with Chicago last summer and expected to start in net for the Blackhawks. But for much of the season, he's served as Corey Crawford's back-up and has gotten well-acquainted with the pine. He hasn't started a game since Feb. 11. So Turco's now looking for new so...
Blackhawks Wing Brouwer Whiffs Badly On This Hit, Injures Shoulder
Your morning roundup for April 6, the day Netflix struck an exclusive streaming deal with the Derek Jeter of TV....
This Texas Rangers Broadcast Clip Will Someday Be Evidence In Divorce Proceedings
Fun stuff from tonight's Rangers-Mariners telecast—good, old-fashioned Texan chivalry....
Watch Andruw Jones Get Hit With A Bunch Of Onion Rings
Sweet justice for all those Braves and Dodgers fans who watched Jones pork up while on big contracts. And Jones says, "Sweet justice? I wanted sweet relish!" Twins win, 5-4, in extras, after Rafael Soriano and co. offered the first of many delightful late-inning implosions to come this season. [Vi...
<i>SI's</i> Post-Championship Cover: Recycling A Jim Nantz Pun
Earlier today, we brought you wretched flashbacks from last night, when Jim Nantz, who is usually sharpei if mastiff, deployed the oldest dog-related puns in the bark. It was an announcing boner—the shih tzu see too often on TV. The line stank like poodle the moment we heard it....
No One Is Going To Cleveland Indians Games
On Friday, Cleveland opened its season on the losing end of a slugfest with the White Sox. Not the worst opening day possible, however much air Fausto Carmona's 3-inning, 10-run performance sucked out of the building—catching stud Carlos Santana went 3 for 5 with a homer....
We Are All Dave McKenna LXI
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit apologizes to us all for being written by lawyers who were clearly browbeaten by Dan Snyder into writing anything at all, given what a dumbas...
Callahan Breaks Ankle After Chara Shot; Rangers' Body Count Piles Up Again
This hurts to watch. In a 5-3 win over Boston last night, the kind of win that Rangers fans have dreamed of, the kind that eliminated Toronto from playoff contention and made it that much harder for Carolina to worm its way in, there was so much good. The Rangers scored five unanswered goals. It s...
John McEnroe Will Swear At You For An Hour For Just $28,500
There's an online charity open through Thursday that will grant two lucky — I mean absurdly wealthy — people an hour-long tennis lesson with John McEnroe at Randall's Island in New York City. The bid is currently at $26,000. The money will go towards saving the earth (literally, I guess?), so we can...
Cats vs. Dogs: Judgment Day Has Arrived
This is it. The day we've been waiting for. We started this war with 16 supercute kitties and 16 precious puppies. Now, brave warriors — Tiger! Pit Bull! Tabby! MUTT!!! — lie fallen on the bloodied fields. Only two critters remain: Tuxedo and Corgi. One cat. One dog. And there can only be one winner...