w Page 4767 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Quirks Of Gambling On Professional Wrestling
Since the dawn of time, it's been mankind's dream to own the Sports Almanac from Back To The Future Part II. If one could know the result of a sporting event beforehand, one could make untold riches by gambling on it. While the Novikov self-consistency principle — or perhaps Calvinism — means this c...

Jim Nantz Predictably Overdoes It With The Dog Puns
To be fair to Worst Man Jim Nantz, we understand that a Huskies-Bulldogs final is a bit like Christmas for him. A Christmas trimmed with multiple opportunities for insufferable references to dogs and winning. And so when the buzzer sounded, Nantz dropped three dog puns in under 20 seconds. It was ...

This Year's "One Shining Moment" Includes Very Few Moments From The Title Game
Your morning roundup for April 5, the day Michael Jackson took watch over Fulham FC's stadium....

We Are All Dave McKenna LX
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit is shillelaghed into the hereafter....

Kris "The Incredible Hump" Humphries Would Like You To Vote For Him For Some Things
It's been one of those seasons, right down to the Nets PR guy accidentally emailing his media contact list to complain that he couldn't find anyone to buy his tickets off of him. (Yes, that's a thing that actually happened.)...

Former National Still Hiding Out In the Women's Bathroom
That's Josh Willingham camped out on an ad in the ladies' room at Nationals Park, despite having been sent to Oakland in December. He joins Strasburg and Harper as featured team ambassadors who aren't actually on the team. [via DC Sports Bog]...

Roger Clemens, Mike Piazza Make Nice
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: everyone is old and mellow and past the bat-throwing incident....

Cats vs. Dogs: Here Are Your Ferocious Final Four!
What a long, strange trip it's been! As we near the end of the road, we have just two clawing, crazy kitties and two snarling dogs left. The journey has not been without surprises and upsets. And questions! What happened to Pit Bull? Why did the mighty Tiger fall? Who among us would believe Lion wou...

(Un)dead Wrestler Of The Week: The Undertaker
An occasional feature in which we honor the sport's fallen and examine their legacies. Today we have a special edition of Dead Wrestler of the Week: The Undertaker, who defeated Triple H last night in WrestleMania 27 and who, while still very much alive, has long been a death-obsessed figure in a de...

Muppet Goalie Lawsuit? Muppet Goalie Lawsuit
Arsenal's Jens Lehmann is suing fellow goalie Tim Wiese of Werder Bremen for telling media Lehmann should "go to the Muppet Show" back in September. He's seeking $28,000....

Did The Clippers' PR Guy Scrub Donald Sterling's Wikipedia Page?
An eagle-eyed tipster alerts us to this revision on Donald Sterling's Wikipedia page, which scrubbed the six-part "Controversies" section but added some heartwarming notes....

Wayne Rooney Scored A Hat Trick, Swore In Celebration, Got A Two-Match Ban
Premier League justice is worse than Sheriff Goodell's....

If A Hockey Writers' Protest Emerges From Long Island, And No One Hears It...
So, as surprising as the thought might be, there is a hockey team playing its games in Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, best known to you as the venue that hosted that awful concert you once had to drag your niece to. That hockey team is the 30-37-12 New York Islanders, which even has a couple spr...

Hey, Did Everyone Notice The Yankees Were Cheating?
Along with Louis Murphy's Viagra bust, this was another good story to break before a weekend and be completely ignored....

This Guy Proposed To His Girlfriend, While That Guy Fellated His Churro
So, good weekend for everybody in the Bronx....

Richard Dent Has Some Amazing Golf Pants
Your morning roundup for April 4, the day an orangutan threw up....

We Are All Dave McKenna LIX
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit gets a good judicial colon cleansing. Today's topic: Charging people $15 to watch cheerleading tryouts....

What's Really Special About This Picture Is That Chipper Jones May Have Signed A 7-Inch Sperm Replica
The first weekend of baseball season wouldn't be complete without an "Atlanta Braves Chipper Jones Sperm Autograph" available to the highest bidder. As of 11 a.m., there were zero takers on the starting bid of $1. Fine, it's not authenticated, but this is still shocking when you consider that there...

If You Wanted A Think Piece About The "Hockey Luvin Homos," Puck Buddies Got Your Back
From the preeminent website "for boys who like boys who like hockey" comes a follow-up to this week's widespread discovery of Vancouver's front-row "Hockey Luvin Homos."...

Abusive Relationships Are The Talk Of New York Baseball
It's not enough for Yankees GM Brian Cashman to let the Mets wallow in the fact that they're the Mets. No, he just had to call them out for abusing "left-handed specialist" Pedro Feliciano last year....