war Page 113 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Let's Speculate Idly About The NBA Draft
The NBA Draft: When is it? What is it? Will you, personally, be selected in this draft? Look, man: I don’t know this shit and honestly I don’t appreciate being asked. That said, the NBA Draft is 1) happening on Thursday evening, 2) effectively random and reliably entertaining, and 3) unless your win...
Very Chill Rockets Fans Are Already Leaving One-Star Reviews For Ayesha Curry's New Restaurant<em></em>
Celebrity chef Ayesha Curry, wife of the Golden State Warriors’ Steph, is opening a second location in Houston this July for her and Michael Mina’s BBQ restaurant International Smoke. For Curry, the new location must represent a good opportunity to expand her business. But if you’re a Rockets fan st...
Nick Young Was Just Joshing When He Said Everybody Should Do Cocaine
As a shoot-first, think-second gunner off the Warriors’ bench, Nick Young is already the closest thing the NBA has to a human line of cocaine. But when Swaggy P calls for the legalization of coke on a TMZ camera while leaving the club on a Tuesday night, he wants y’all to know he’s just kidding....
Dwight Howard Reaches Sad, Strange New Stage Of His Career
Here we are, again: Dwight Howard is switching teams for the fourth straight offseason. After failing to live up to expectations as a franchise cornerstone with the Rockets, flopping as a hometown hero with the Hawks, and failing to make an impact as a veteran leader with the Hornets (lol), Howard h...
Let’s Remember Some Guys: Pro Wrestling Edition
My uncle introduced me to pro wrestling. I think I was seven. He clued me in on the gag right away: Guys pretended to fight, and it was hilarious....
NBA Auctions Off What J.R. Smith Wore When He Lost What Was Left Of His Dignity
A token of J.R. Smith’s eternal shame is up for sale on the NBA’s auction site. “He played 38 minutes and registered 10 points with 2 assists and 6 rebounds,” reads the very charitable caption. In some sense, this is the greatest piece of LeBron James memorabilia that money could buy....
Beer For Herbs Calls Itself "Lebron Tears"
An undeniable spoil of victory is the unassailable right to talk mad shit about your vanquished foes, forever, no matter their prominence nor how splendidly they performed. The Warriors are very good at this, as in the case of Draymond Green using t-shirts to mock LeBron James after each of the last...
Dwight Howard Shares Story Of Stan Van Gundy Owning The Hell Out Of Marcin Gortat
Marcin Gortat is a fine NBA player. He’s been one of the NBA’s best screeners for about a decade; before a relatively recent age-related decline in athleticism he was an underrated defender and rim protector; he’s a wizard at timing his movement towards the hoop to preserve and maximize the narrow p...
It Seems Like Draymond Green Truly Dislikes Tristan Thompson
It is not uncommon to see two NBA players who just spent a game or even an entire series scrapping and talking wild shit to each other suddenly shaking hands and hugging once the buzzer goes off. It’s a particular quirk of the NBA, a league in which guys can say truly vile things during the game and...
Jordan Bell Might Be The Drunkest Golden State Warrior
In the immediate aftermath of Game 4, Warriors rookie Jordan Bell wielded two bottles of celebratory champagne. These were the results:...
Draymond Green Has Once Again Mocked LeBron James With His Championship Parade T-Shirt
When the Warriors took to the streets of Oakland a year ago to celebrate their championship, Draymond Green marked the occasion by donning a “Quickie” t-shirt featuring the logo from the Cavs arena. There’s a long history of sartorial beef between the Warriors and the Cavs, and highlights from the o...
Jason Heyward, Of All People, Finally Got To Josh Hader
Listen, it is illegal to exhibit any sort of excitement about a potential bounce-back from Jason Heyward until he actually finishes a full season with an OPS over .800. I’m sorry, but that’s just the law, and it has been the law ever since he convinced everyone that 2017 was going to be his big come...
Listen, It's The Offseason Now So We're Going To Talk About This Dumb Basketball Idea
A galaxy-brained NBA Reddit user posed a reasonable question this morning: Why can’t four Golden State Warriors link arms in a circle around Steph Curry, so that no defenders can get near him to contest his shot?...
We Now Live In A World Where Nick Young Is An NBA Champion
It was otherwise a shitty, forgettable NBA Finals series, but at least it produced this fascinating outcome: Nick Young (!) joins fellow Cinnamon Challenge hero and former Wizards knucklehead JaVale McGee (!!) as an NBA champion. The sheer improbability of Nick Young finding a role on a championship...
Thank God That's Over
Man, Game 4 sucked. Just as a basketball exhibition, it sucked, in exactly the way that all blowouts suck, before we even get to the part where it was an elimination game in the NBA Finals. However valiantly the Cavs fought earlier in the series, Game 4 made clear just what a ghastly, hilariously lo...
The Cavs Made The Right Adjustment
It was the third quarter, and the Warriors, already ahead on the scoreboard and up 3-0 in the series, were doing their third-quarter thing. That is to say, they’d decided to apply the 12 minutes of focused full-bore effort it takes to render them effectively invincible. A game they’d led steadily pr...
Warriors Heroically Overcome Jeff Green, George Hill, & Rodney Hood To Claim NBA Title
Despite facing a Cavaliers superteam of NBA legends like José Calderón, Cedi Osman, and George Hill, the Golden State Warriors fought their way past the odds to claim their third league title in the past four years and their sixth overall with a 108-85 win. ...
They Already Said They Weren't Going To Go, Man
Even though LeBron James and Steph Curry had already said that neither of their teams would visit the White House if they won the NBA Finals, today Donald Trump tried to pretend like he wouldn’t have invited them anyway. Surely the basketball players will regret the opportunity to watch a septuagena...
Kendrick Perkins And Kevin Durant Have A Friendly, Obscene Moment Together
Kendrick Perkins, nominally on the Cavs roster, is just there to wear a suit and start shit. He’s a large, rude chaperone who escorts the team from Cleveland to the Bay and back, occasionally stepping up to yell at or near Drake or knock knees with Steph Curry. Last night he fully embraced his role ...
I Went To All Three Delaware Casinos On The First Day Of Legal Sports Betting And Now I Have An Unbeatable System
The odds boards are outdated, and they are state-of-the-art in Delaware....