ward Page 63 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Justin Bieber, Carrie Underwood, The Weeknd, And More Iso Vocals From Last Night's Awards Shows
While you were busy watching Wrestlemania or The Walking Dead or something, a pair of second-tier awards shows aired—one sponsored by a bullshit media company tied into this weekend’s Final Four, and the other just another one of country music’s 184 occasions upon which to celebrate itself. We picke...
Cubs Spring Training Game Overrun By Bees
Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice. I say it will end when our bee overlords choose to end it. That might already be underway at Sloan Park during this afternoon’s Cubs-Mariners game. Jason Heyward was the first victim, and he had to climb the outfield fence to avoid them....
Madison Bumgarner And Jason Heyward's Beef Wasn't Really A Beef At All
Madison Bumgarner’s on-mound demeanor could be described using many different words; I’ll go with “cantankerous,” but depending upon your perspective anything from “fired-up” to “dickish” can be appropriate. So when Jason Heyward stood around seemingly staring at Bumgarner after taking a called thir...
What On Earth Is Going On With José Mourinho's Manchester United Pre-Contract?
We can all agree that the big takeaway from the pre-contract José Mourinho has reportedly signed with Manchester United is the simple fact that, after a few months on the sidelines, no doubt stewing over the calamity that was his final season at Chelsea, our man Mourinho will almost certainly be bac...
Dwight Howard Cops To Years Of Stickum Use After Getting Caught With It Last Night
Scandal has ERUPTED in the NBA after Rockets center Dwight Howard was caught using Stickum spray to make his hands all sticky and stuff last night. In the first quarter of yesterday’s loss to the Atlanta Hawks, Paul Millsap was shooting free throws when he got the ball and made this face....
Report: Dwight Howard Chose New Agent For Most Dwight Howard Reasons Possible
Dwight Howard is in the market for a new agent, after firing agent Dan Fegan in February. According to a report from Shams Charania, Howard is hiring an agent who doesn’t represent any current NBA players. So why’d Howard leave one of the more powerful agents in the game for somebody barely even in ...
If You Like Making Fun Of Dwight Howard, You'll Like This Picture
Dwight Howard, a guy who probably voted himself Class Clown in high school, is apparently not very good at locking his iPad. At least that’s what this tweet from Rockets rookie Sam Dekker implies:...
The Caucasian's Guide To Talking About Race
A few months ago, I was honored to be invited to the October Secret Global White People Meeting to speak to their constituents about wearing blackface on Halloween. Apparently, I made such an impact that they recently requested a return engagement to address a less holiday-oriented topic. The follow...
Gus Johnson Says Dwight Howard Told Him He Almost Ended Up In Milwaukee
Dwight Howard was much closer to being traded at the deadline than previously reported, according to a probably reliable source: Dwight Howard....
There Are At Least Four Classic References In This Image
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Let's Watch Unaired Footage Of Celebrities Buying Girl Scout Cookies
Chris Rock performed a bit during tonight’s Academy Awards about his daughters’ Girl Scout troop selling cookies at the ceremony. And they really did sell cookies—with celebrities handing over hundreds for boxes of Thin Mints....
Defensive Lineman Crashes Out Of NFL Combine 40-Yard Dash Due To Dick Falling Out Of Shorts [NSFW]
Mississippi State defensive lineman Chris Jones had trouble staying upright as he finished his 40 attempt today at the NFL combine, and replays revealed why: his genitals came flying out of his shorts while trying to beat five seconds....
Report: Tim Howard Is Heading Back To MLS
According to a report from ESPNFC’s Jeff Carlisle, USMNT keeper Tim Howard is on his way back to MLS to mind the net for the Colorado Rapids, who had one of their keepers do this not two years ago. Per the report, Howard dropped his insane $5 million per year demand and accepted a three-year contrac...
Rockets CEO Denies That His Team Is A Big Fucking Mess
Despite getting a nice win over the Blazers and a superstar performance out of James Harden last night, the 29-29 Houston Rockets are still in a bad place. They failed to trade Dwight Howard, the one deadline deal they did pull off fell apart because of a failed physical, and now it’s been reported ...
James Harden's Partnership With Dwight Howard, Summed Up In One Play
Years from now, while surfing Basketball Reference, your child may look to you and ask, “How were the 2016 Rockets so bad despite having both James Harden and Dwight Howard? Weren’t those guys good? I must know the truth.” You will have prepared for this moment, and you will turn the eyes of your pr...
The Manchester United Backroom Power Struggle Theory We Desperately Hope Is True
There’s simply never enough intrigue and entertainment to be had from Manchester United to fully sate our appetite. Either they’re crushing all opponents at home and abroad, as they did during Alex Ferguson’s tenure, or they’re shitting all over themselves, the way they have in the few years since S...
The Rockets Couldn't Dump Dwight Howard, So What Now?
The Houston Rockets reportedly spent a lot of time shopping around Dwight Howard before yesterday’s trade deadline. This was no great surprise, as the Rockets have been the most dysfunctional team in the NBA not named the Kings, and Howard’s partnership with James Harden hasn’t worked out the way th...
The U.S. Olympic Marathon Team: BFFs, A Woman With A Plan, The Hero, Rupp, And A Guy Named Jared
The Olympic Marathon Trials have been tried and decided. By finishing in the top three, your 2016 Olympic marathoners are Galen Rupp, Meb Keflezighi and Jared Ward on the men’s side, and Amy Cragg, Des Linden, and Shalane Flanagan on the women’s. Should one of those Mister or Miss Americas be unable...
Louisiana Is Broke, And Now The Governor Is Threatening To Cancel LSU Football
Louisiana has no money. The state is currently operating with a $940 million budget deficit that is set to balloon to $2 billion in the next fiscal year. (Nola.com has a good breakdown of how the state got in such a dire position, but if you want the short answer, it’s that former governor Bobby Jin...