watch Page 38 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Patriots Are Just Tempting Fate
As the above video shows, with all the hatred directed at the Patriots right now — the batshit nuts Easterbrook type, and other more planetary notions — we're legitimately surprised no one has gone after Tom Brady's knees yet. (KSK might have been the first with this idea.) We would never advocate s...
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What to watch as ... hey, where did Julie go? She just vanished! ... • NFL: Green Bay at Denver. Favre plus thin oxygen equals wacky fun for the entire family. [ESPN] • NHL: San Jose at Dallas. Sharks are in town, which means it's free skate! [Versus] • Local programming: Please enjoy endless hours ...
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What to watch while bending over and taking it from the Patriots... • MLB: World Series Game 4, Boston at Colorado. If God's going to make something happen, now is the time. [FOX] • CFB: Central Florida at Southern Mississippi. Don't ask why, just go with it. [ESPN] • Uncomfortable Comedy: Curb Your...
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What to watch while your fantasy team conducts their final walk-through before tomorrow's big game... • World Series Game 3, Boston at Colorado. Dominican Lou says "It is berry berry cold." I expect Screwballs to post more feats of female hoisting, the air is thinner out there.[FOX] • College footba...
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What to watch as, during the earthquake, you shake violently to make the room seem like it's standing still ... • College football: Boise State at Fresno State. Welcome to the Doghouse. [ESPN2] • Golf: Champions Tour, Charles Schwab Cup Championship, second round, Sonoma, Calif. They call us Funkhea...
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What to watch as the flimsy premise of your latest term paper collapses, killing nine and injuring 30 ... • MLB: World Series, Game 2, Colorado at Boston. The Red Sox have decided to start Beckett in every game. [Fox] • College football: Boston College at Virginia Tech [ESPN]; Air Force at New Mexic...
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What to watch after some guy with a pocket knife completely ruins the Niceville Mullet Festival for everyone (so typical) ... • MLB: World Series, Game 1, Colorado at Boston. Contrary to popular belief, God couldn't care less. [Fox] • Soccer: UEFA Champions League, Olympiakos at Real Madrid. We will...
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What to watch after a day of wok racing ... • NHL: New York Rangers at Pittsburgh. Pengui-mania! [Versus] • Soccer: UEFA Champions League, first round, CSKA Moscow at Inter Milan. What they'll all be talking about at the water cooler tomorrow. [ESPN Classic] • College football: Michigan State vs. Oh...
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What to watch as you realize that if you drink beer this way, you're doing it wrong ... • NFL: Indianapolis at Jacksonville. That other unbeaten team isn't making nearly as much noise. [ESPN] • NHL: Boston at Montreal. This rivarly goes back to the French and Indian War. [Versus] • College football:...
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What to watch as you receive a visit from Condom Man... 8 p.m.: MLB: ALCS Game 7, Cleveland Indians at Boston Red Sox. [Fox] 8 p.m.: NCAA Football: Southern Miss at Marshall. We. Are. Disinterested. [ESPN] 8:15 p.m.: NFL: Pittsburgh Steelers at Denver Broncos. Look for Mike Shanahan to call a timeou...
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What to watch while coming to grips with a gay Dumbledore... • 8 p.m. — MLB: ALCS, Game 6: Cleveland Indians at Boston Red Sox. Curt Schilling was last seen asking Harvey Firestein for a Josh Beckett mask. [FOX] • 8 p.m. — College football: Michigan at Illinois. Maybe if the Illini weren't always fi...
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What to watch after you've stepped up the volleyball rivalry a bit ... • College football: Louisville at Connecticut. The cardinal is the most fierce of all the tiny, small-beaked birds. [ESPN] • Golf: Champions Tour, AT&T Championship, first round, San Antonio. This time I shall find a way to beat ...
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What to watch as you enjoy your free lifetime's supply of beer ... • MLB: American League Championship Series, game 5, Boston at Cleveland. Manny is very sorry, and says he cares a great deal. [Fox] • College football: South Florida at Rutgers. The Oklahoma-Nebraska of the 21st century. [ESPN] • Col...
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What to watch while trying to decide if the suckatorium is a brothel, or another name for Fenway Park ... • Golf: PGA of America, Grand Slam of Golf, final round, at Tucker's Town, Bermuda. I'll be at the cabana bar. [TNT] • NBA: Preseason, Cleveland vs. Orlando, at Shanghai. I'll be in the pirate s...
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What to watch as Cindy takes out the entire Brady family with a machete while they sleep ... • Boxing: Welterweights, Alfonso Gomez vs. Ben Tackie, at Carson, Calif. I opened a can of Whoopass, but it spilled all over the linoleum. [ESPN] • MLB: American League Championship Series, Game 4, Boston at...
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Forget it, nothing will wipe this from your mind ... • MLB: American League Championship Series, Game 3, Boston at Cleveland [Fox]; National League Championship Series, Game 4, Arizona at Colorado [TBS]. Man, is Jesus going to be peeved when the Diamondbacks come back and win this thing. • NFL: N.Y....
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What to watch as you wonder if you're weird enough to run for mayor of San Francisco ... • College football: Hawaii at San Jose State. Another Colt Brennan performance for East Coast writers to ignore. [ESPN] • MLB: American League Championship Series, Game 1, Cleveland at Boston [Fox]; National Lea...
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What to watch as you enjoy a light snack ... • College football: Florida State at Wake Forest. There aren't enough college mascots wearing top hats in my opinion. [ESPN] • MLB: National League Championship Series, Colorado at Arizona, Game 1. Wait, the NLCS plus Bon Jovi? Where have you been all my ...
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What to watch while enjoying David Lee Roth's birthday ... • College football: Navy at Pittsburgh. Ooh, Wannstedt! [ESPN] • Boxing: Evander Holyfield vs. Lou Savarese. We hope this is a repeat, because Evander's gotta fight Saturday and might be too tired if he has to go again tonight. [ESPN Classic...
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What to watch while trading hot dog recipes with Sen. Larry Craig (R-Idaho) ... • NHL: Carolina at Toronto. Rooting for Jason Blake will not be hard at all. [Versus] • Boxing: Hasim (Chop!) Rahman vs. Taurus (Bill) Sykes, heavyweights, at Rochster, NY. Taped from previous bout. [Versus] • College fo...