we Page 356 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Cubs Postpone Game On Account Of Rain; Rain Doesn't Show Up
After a disastrous opening night that saw fans peeing in cups to avoid enormous lines for the bathroom, the Cubs hauled in portable toilets in an effort to remedy the situation for future games. They didn’t get to try them out, however, because the club skipped their second game Tuesday night, post...
Drew Magary Won <i>Chopped</i> Last Night And It’s A Goddamn National Disgrace
So imagine my surprise when I logged onto Deadspin last night and found that serial child abuser Drew Magary was participating on Chopped. That due to some combination of threatening the producers with a kitchen knife and Shibbolethian fecal rituals, he had managed to convince them that he knew how...
OKC Players Confused About What "Controlling Our Own Destiny" Means
Last night, the Thunder suffered a blow in their struggle with the Pelicans for the final playoff spot in the West. While they were busy getting creamed by the Spurs, the Pelicans somewhat surprisingly knocked off the Warriors. The results leave the Thunder one game back in the loss column with four...
Records: Will Allen Tried To Dodge Being Served In Ponzi Scheme Case
The Securities and Exchange Commission* has accused former NFL cornerback Will Allen and a partner of running an approximately $31 million Ponzi scheme that lured in athletes from all four major American sports leagues. And as part of what will probably be an ongoing legal process, Allen and Susan ...
What If Roger Goodell Were President?
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we’re covering taco enemas, board games, wiping, and more....
Did Ex-NFLer Will Allen's Alleged Ponzi Scheme Prey On Jack Johnson?
The Securities and Exchange Commission has filed a complaint against Will Allen, a cornerback who played for the Giants, Dolphins, and Patriots—not to be confused with former Steelers safety Will Allen—accusing the NFLer of running a Ponzi scheme with a Florida woman. ...
The Rockies Are Going To Sock Some Goddamn Dingers This Year
Hey! The Colorado Rockies might be really fun this year. Take it from me, a Rockies fan who is super reasonable and not at all still riding the high of yesterday’s 10-0 victory over the Milwaukee Brewers....
Matt Stafford Traveled Through Time To 2005 And Got Married
Lions quarterback Matt Stafford got married over the weekend—congratulations to the happy couple!—and based on pictures that were taken at the event, it appears that he and his wedding party managed to travel through time and hold the ceremony in 2005, the last time trucker hats were a thing....
Kentucky Breakfast Stout: The Most Important Meal Of The Day
Saturday morning, my wife and I woke up without any particular plan, unless you count the plan to go the art museum, which my wife did in fact count due to the fact that I had agreed to the plan 18 hours earlier, but funny things happen to plans sometimes. So there we were, blissfully plan-free for ...
A Troubling Statistical Conundrum, From A Burger King Baseball In 1996
Reader Sully from Holy Cross wrote in this weekend with a question. ...
That's More Than Five, Chuck, & Ric Flair Is On There Twice
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Cheez Whiz And Grape Jelly: What's Your Weirdest Eating Habit?
Pickles and ice cream are for amateurs, man. Peanut butter and American cheese sandwiches, hold the bread—that's how you do vile food pairings in style....
Report: Mayweather-Pacquiao PPV Will Cost $99
Exactly one month from today, Floyd Mayweather and Manny Pacquiao will meet in the fight everyone wanted five years ago. You’d better start saving up now....
Hold On, Jim Caldwell Went For The Most 4th Downs Last Year?
Football Outsiders published its Aggressiveness Index results yesterday, and came back with a very weird result. Jim Caldwell went for a shitload of fourth downs....
WrestleMania Was Ridiculous And Amazing
Welcome to Deadspin’s irregular pro wrestling column, in which Tom Breihan and Ernest Wilkins will comb through the past month of superkicks, lariats, and 450 splashes in search of the greatest things that this most American of artforms has given us. ...
Robert Kraft Takes Stand In Aaron Hernandez Trial, Explains His "Work"
An under-the-weather Bob Kraft was called as a witness in the Aaron Hernandez murder trial this morning, and he had some trouble explaining to the prosecutor exactly what it is he does for the Patriots. ...
Brock Lesnar's <i>WWE Raw</i> Rampage, As Called By Wrestling Legend Jim Ross
Brock Lesnar, fresh off a commitment to WWE that earned breaking news attention on ESPN, was denied a title rematch on tonight's WWE Raw. It sent the former UFC fighter into a rampage that left announcers, bystanders and even "cameramen" in a wake of destruction. Since Raw announcer Michael Cole was...
Browns Fined And GM Suspended For Being Supremely Dysfunctional
Because it's only like the 16th most interesting thing to happen to the Browns in the last year, and because the Falcons are being punished—more harshly—at the exact same time, this latest Cleveland mini-fiasco threatens to fly under the radar. Do not let it. It's a perfect example of the team bein...