we Page 385 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Crazy-Ass Italian Sport Combines Rugby With Bare-Knuckle Fighting
There is a sporting event held annually in the Piazza Santa Croce in Florence, Italy. It is called Calcio Fiorentino, and it is an ancient form of football that is essentially rugby, but with a whole bunch of dudes just mercilessly beating the crap out of each other. ...

Patriots Screw Panthers, Claim Their Sixth-Round Rookie Running Back
Panthers running back Tyler Gaffney injured his left meniscus last Friday, so his rookie season's already done. Normally, Carolina would place him on injured reserve, but because teams still have 90-man rosters at this point of the season, injured players have to clear waivers before they can be shi...

Gordon Ramsay's Kid Will Host A Cooking Show, For Some Reason
Gordon Ramsay, professional emotional abuser of reality-TV cooks, has a 12-year-old daughter named Tilly. And Tilly has an ambition: to indulge a 12-year-old's desire for fame and adoration in the hopes that a cooking show starring a pre-teen will goose a certain famous TV person's flagging busin...

Little Boy Eats It While Trying To Run With Commonwealth Games Marathon
The Commonwealth Games are underway in Scotland, as representatives from all the territories of the Queen's realm battle it out in athletic competitions both Olympic and non-Olympic. ...

Small Child Runs With Kenyans, Falls Spectacularly
On Sunday at the Commonwealth Games in Glasgow, Scotland, one young fan wanted to Experience The Kenyans. And he did it! He was flying with some of the best runners in the world! Then gravity took over, crushing his dreams and skinning his hands. Fuck you, gravity, you dream-crushing hand-skinner. ...

Carlos Gomez Is A Dancing Ninja Turtle
Mark Reynolds was a guest on MLB Network's Yukfest Live with human balloon-from-the-supermarket-checkout-line Kevin Millar and Chris Rose Wednesday afternoon and got himself videobombed by Carlos Gomez. This was no run-of-the-mill videobomb, though, Gomez was dressed up as Leonardo the Teenage Mut...

Naked Burger Thieves On The Lam In Florida Beach Town
Listen. Sometimes it's 3:06 in the morning, you and a couple of your buddies are wandering around a beach town in various states of undress, and suddenly you have need of 60 hamburgers, three pounds of bacon, three red peppers, and, uh, a paddleboard. Immediately! And the grocery stores are cl...

Hockey Players Photobombed By The Queen Of England
Australian field hockey players Jayde Taylor and Brooke Peris are in Glasgow, Scotland, for the Commonwealth Games, and earlier today posted a photo with an unexpected guest to Twitter. They knew what they were doing, thus making it not a true photobomb, but we'll allow it. Watch out, ladies! She's ...


Jonathan Lucroy Saved The Brewers, Who Need Him To Keep It Up
Jonathan Lucroy was never supposed to be a star. He was a third-round draft pick; according to Baseball Reference, which keeps track of such things, he never made any of the major top 100 prospects lists; and entering his age-26 season, he had a career .260/.307/.366 batting line. ...

Crowd-Funded Brewery Campaigns Are Bullshit
Crowd-funding is a great hustle. Remember a couple weeks ago when some dude threatened not to make potato salad unless we bought him a solid-gold pony with diamonds for eyes, and we actually went for it? Of course, many professional bloviators saw this as the exact moment when society’s collecti...

Idiot's Apology To Erin Andrews: "15 Lbs. Heavier, She'd Be A Waitress"
WEEI/NESN personality Kirk Minihane apologized on-air today for calling Erin Andrews a "gutless bitch," only to immediately follow it up with the assertion that "if she weighed 15 pounds more, she'd be a waitress at Perkins."...

Warm Your Heart With A Supercut Of Kids Swearing In Movies
There's something disarming about a little kid swearing. It's shocking and delightful at the same time, even though it's not supposed to be encouraged. That's real life, though. This supercut of children cursing in movies, however, can be enjoyed without guilt. Embrace the profanity, especially "bun...

West Virginia's Starting Quarterback Has A Cool Thought About Women
Cool thought, Clint Trickett. Super cool thought....

Daughter-In-Law Of Nike Founder Arrested On Student Sex Charges
Melissa Bowerman, high school track coach and daughter-in-law of Nike founder Bill Bowerman, is again facing allegations of improper relations with a student. But this time the charges are serious and Bowerman is behind bars. ...


WWE's "Russian" Characters Referenced The Malaysian Airlines Crash
On last night's WWE pay-per-view, Lana and Rusev, playing Russians—or at least Russophiles; they're not totally clear on the details— made reference to Americans blaming Russia "for the recent current events." ...

The Seattle Sounders Make A Dream Come True
This was awesome. ...

Disabled Dachshund Named Anderson Pooper Runs In Weiner Dog Race
This is the sweetest goddamned thing. A Washington radio station holds an annual Wiener Dog rally and this year's race took place last Sunday. We don't know who won the race, but Anderson Pooper, chugging along in his little doggie wheelchair, has won our hearts. ...