we Page 469 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Massive 12-Year-Old Too Big For Pee Wee Football, Too Bad At Football For Middle School Football
KDFW reports on the story of Elijah Earnheart, who at the tender age of 12 is already six feet tall and weighs nearly 300 pounds. Elijah wants to play football, but because of his size, he's been banned from his Mequite (Texas) Pee Wee team. Once you get the giggles out over the Fox screengrab of po...

Catching <em>Phantom Of The Opera</em> With Vince McMahon: More Wrestler Run-Ins
Inspired by the saga of "Wrestling Superstar Virgil," we continue with readers' encounters with the titans of the squared circle. If you've had your own run-in with pro wrestlers past or present, e-mail us, subject line "Virgilbag."...

Lax Bro Apologizes To Entire Southwest Flight For Acting Like A Lax Bro
Lax bros are one of the fastest-growing scourges to American society. They are members of a subculture that is composed entirely of privileged white kids with annoying names. Even worse, they are getting attention from the Boston Globe and stupid movies made about them....

Dictionary Researchers Credit Gary Carter With Popularizing "F-Bomb"
Once again, it's time for the word-lovin' folks at Merriam-Webster to add a few more selections to their growing collection of vernacular. This year, the word "F-bomb" will be included for the first time, along with sexting, energy drink, life coach, and 96 other entries today into its latest print ...

New England Patriots To Work Out Plaxico Burress
Deadspin asks and Bob Kraft delivers. Maybe. After biting on Jerry Jones's double move earlier in the week, Plaxico is finally making his first team visit of the year and may end up with a rival to his two most recent organizations....

Everything You Never Needed To Know About Rhythmic Gymnastics
We love gymnastics. It gets the highest ratings of any summer event. Every four years we fall in love with a new "America's Sweetheart." They get the Wheaties box. The team goes down in history....

A DeLorean Hovercraft Appeared At Last Night's Giants-Rockies Game
Our friends over at Productive Outs let us know about this, one of the more astounding things of the many bizarre ones we've seen in McCovey Cove. It's a DeLorean DMC-12 hovercraft, live and in action....

Everything You Never Needed To Know About Modern Pentathlon
Here's a great way to make some extra cash:...

Olympic Sailing Called Off For Lack Of Wind
Today was to have been the medal race in the 470 class and a consolation race in the Elliott 6m, but the weather in Weymouth was just too darn nice to waste a day sailing. After waiting more than six hours for the wind to pick up, and failing to sacrifice a goat to Aeolus, racing was called off for ...

Here's Video Evidence That Lolo Jones's Teammates Straight Up Do Not Like Her
When we last talked about the Lolo Jones backlash, it was easy to get the impression that the New York Times had gone rogue, drumming up an antagonism where none truly existed, and repackaging quotes from Jones's teammates and an "expert" to serve as a mouthpiece for their own gripes....

Steve Corino Beats Up A Juggalo: More Wrestler Run-Ins
Inspired by the saga of "Wrestling Superstar Virgil," we continue with readers' encounters with the titans of the squared circle. If you've had your own run-in with pro wrestlers past or present, e-mail us, subject line "Virgilbag."...

Jamaica Parties: Foreign Olympics News Bob Costas Couldn't Get It Up For
Deadspin and Gelf Magazine bring you the best (or at least the most interesting) foreign-produced journalism about the London Olympics. ...

Weightlifter Matthias Steiner Dropped 432 Pounds On The Back Of His Head, Somehow Got Back Up
German weightlifter Matthias Steiner claimed gold in Beijing, but faltered today in the most painful manner while attempting to snatch 196 kilograms, just over 432 pounds. While Steiner's cleared 200kg in the snatch easily before, he was unable to clear the weight today—leading to a moment so sca...

No, Boner Rower Does Not Have A Boner: A Gay Man's Remedial Guide To Penises For Straight Guys
Fact: the average straight person has sex about once every four years. (Except for 43-year-old divorced dads in New York City, who are having sex with every 26-year-old lady, all the time.) Fact: the average straight man has seen about 3.2 penises in his life....

That's Not A Boner, Says Boner Rower
Over the weekend, the American team took bronze in the men's coxless four rowing event. But at the medal ceremony, you could be forgiven for ignoring the first- and second-place teams, and indeed three-fourths of the U.S. team. Instead, all eyes were on Henrik Rummel. (Rummel and his penis are secon...

Daniel Gyurta Will Make A Copy Of His 200m Breaststroke Gold Medal In Memory Of Norway's Alexander Dale Oen
Norway's Alexander Dale Oen was considered a favorite in the 100m and 200m breaststroke at these London games. Dale Oen, however, died earlier this year due to a rare heart disease at the age of 26. To pay his respects and honor a friend, 200m Gold medal winner Daniel Gyurta of Hungary said he will...

MMA Fighter With Full Complement Of Arms Knocked Out By One-Armed Man
Nick Newell (no-relation) is now 8-0 in his MMA career despite only having one arm. He compensates by relying on his knees and legs and, as you can see above, it works out pretty well for him. The best part is the announcer, who sounds like he may be Ray Hudson's less successful brother, referring...

Everything You Never Needed To Know About Racewalking
Remember watching When Harry Met Sally, and thinking to yourself "What the hell are they doing?" as you watched Billy Crystal in spandex walking fast and funny through Central Park with Bruno Kirby? That was racewalking, son....

Vikings Punter Chris Kluwe Explains Why He Thinks Joey Porter Is "A Frothing Dingleberry"
There was so much goodness in our rollicking Chris Kluwe live chat from the other night that it almost seems unfair to single out just one of Kluwe's responses. But one answer in particular caught my eye and demanded some additional details:...

Two Golfers, A Kicker, A Lemonade-Lovin' Linebacker, And One Crazy Goalie: The Few Athletes Who Endorsed Chick-Fil-A
A rule of thumb: if you'd like to learn about the next culture-war shitstorm before it hits, you're best served by visiting sort-of Bruins goalie Tim Thomas's Facebook page. (I say "sort-of" because Thomas has announced he'll take next year off from the NHL.) Thomas weighed in on Obamacare and birth...