week Page 41 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
If It's November, It Must Be SHOTY Time
• Welcome, 2007 SHOTY! • See Digger Phelps act. • A fun week for Aubrey Huff. • Look, the book has a cover! • Stephon Marbury fever. Catch it. • The Lambeau ... ow! • I - L - L! • Welcome "back," A-Rod. • Marching bands are cool. Really. • Down goes Oregon. • Barry. Barry. Barry....
Defying The Odds, Our Hero Makes It To Week 2
My Talking Dennis Miller Action Figure arrived in the mail today, and I'm happier than Wink Martindale on the Island of Topless Double-D Spokesmodels. Although on close inspection Talking Dennis more resembles the guy who sold me my term life insurance. So far I haven't been able to find the button ...
Tennessee Football Players Have It All
• Josh McNeil is living the American Dream. • Sox tickets are more expensive than they used to be. • Yum yum. • Maverick! • Unsilent did some good work on our day off. • How we missed Chris Henry. • We will never think of Rivers the same way again. • Choo-Choo. • Email aside, be careful of buying th...
Dennis Is Here! Rejoice!
So is it mere coincidence that Dennis Miller starts his new sports show on Versus on the same day that we open our Sports Human of the Year nominations? (lowers glasses, looks thoughtfully at reader). We weren't born yesterday, babe. Sports Unfiltered with Dennis Miller kicked off on Tuesday, and if...
So There's This Big Soccer Game Today, I'm Told
Okay. Take a look to the east. See the sun rising? Okay, look at the little blotch of land right below it. Don't see it? Here, use my binoculars. Hmm... you still don't see it? Okay, well look at this Mercator projection map. Right there. England. Located somewhere in that country, probably in that ...
Week in Review: Eff This Cursed Machine
⁊ Jon Kitna enjoys Halloween, then apologizes for it...
Boston Now Controls Everything. Beware.
• The Red Sox went to the World Series and then started kicking some ass. • One happy Kentucky fan. • We'll call this an agent screwup. • Heath Shuler, still awesome. • Ack! Jason Taylor robot! • Here comes Dennis Miller. • Larry King explodes. • Channing Crowder is smart. • Sorry: Still not worth i...
Memorial Stadium, Under The Lights
• Wait. You do it with Derek Jeter and some other lady, and you expect free parking too? Sheesh. • This is not the best way to intimidate Josh Beckett. • The Rockies are in the World Series. • See ya, Torre. • Mr. Lloyd, Mr. Aikman is on line two. • Bill Simmons, mo-capped. • Those diligent beat rep...
A Week Of Buggin' Out
• We really enjoyed the Jambaroo this week. • Favre, man ... FAVRE. • Don't let the door hit you on the way out, Roger. • ESPN will come after you even in death. • Jacqueline Gagne, hanging out with the ESPN Conversation folks. • Stanford! Holy crap! • The bleacher peeing lady. • Baseball video game...
Let Isiah Thomas Manage The Phillies!
• Soccer players are manly. • Much genius happening on the ESPN Conversation boards. • Please do not make noise, fan. • Tom Brady is selective about his in-flight movies. • Good week for Isiah. • Get after it, football fans. • Somebody tag Holliday. • How to win a starting job. • Goodbye, Walt Jocke...
You'd Think LeBron Would Be Accustomed To Being Surrounded By Nobodies
Like many of you since 1996, I missed Saturday Night Live last night, hosted by LeBron James, and have only the YouTubery offered up by NBC to go on. In this case, the monologue ("LeBronologue!" Oh, what whimsy!) was my favorite. There was also a High School Musical skit that had so much potential, ...
The Best Place To Enjoy The NL's Big Weekend? Buffalo!
• That ESPN Town Hall Meeting did not go well. • Weed! • This is not a good way to impress Jim Tressel. • Nobody is better at Photoshop than Russian topless dancers. • Brett Favre, champion of jorts. • The Isiah Thomas Case is almost over. Sad. • Erin Andrews is a diligent interviewer. • "Rememberin...
You'll Be Lucky To See This Post, Ever
• Jay Mariotti, blogger. • Isiah Thomas knows his race relations syntax. • Real or not, these are terrifying. • Bill Simmons' charming fan. • Adeus, Mourinho. • We'd patrol Chris Henry's house too. • MJD's new best friend. • The studly Rob Stone. • How to handle when your team wins behind enemy line...
Bill Belichick Is Always Watching
• Bitch, Isiah Thomas has a lot to say. • Shaq's bus sends some mixed messages. • What a huge day at RFK Stadium. • Jason Elam's kick was amazing. • The Smorgasbord returns! • Obey Belichick. • Gilbert Arenas knows how to deal with a lady. • Poor Greg Oden. • We tell you with whom to have sex. • Ski...
The Gay Mafia Invade The Mothership
Oh, hello there. We, the fine gentleman from Kissing Suzy Kolber, have been charged with guiding you folks through this, the very first weekend of the NFL season. And we could not be more excited. Not only do we get to watch football, we also get to rush to the computer every five minutes to do HTM...
Thank Heavens For The NFL
• Another reason never to get excited about anything. • Mark Mangino will kill you. • Scott Van Pelt had had it up to here with your Internet garbage. • The NFL actually started its season. • Jeff Reed! • Shush, Barber. • Boy, oh boy, Michigan. • Rugby players make great dads. • Enjoy your Sunday! •...
At The End, There Is Just Ned
• Alas, only Ned. • Mark Cuban, dancin'. • ESPN hires its fans. Well, no, but it pretends its employees are fans. Clever, you! • We'll never understand the President Of Red Sox Nation thing. • Vick pleaded guilty. You might have heard about it. • Mike Tyson's poop. • Dickey Simpkins, one good dad. •...
Hey, The CFL Ain't So Bad
So you just can't wait until the NFL starts up? The suspense is killing you? Well, in Canada it's been football season for quite some time now. And I'm not saying that in some kind of pompous "I mean real football, which you silly Americans call soccer" fashion....
Tom Brady has eight more bastard children to go if he wants to catch up to Travis Henry. The Denver Broncos running back "fathered" nine children scattered about the southern United States, using nine different mommies. Somehow that $25 million contract wasn't enough to write off his unpaid child su...