wha Page 34 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

After Disappointing Campaign, Spanish Soccer Club Hopes This Koala Lounge Singer Will Cheer You Up
Getafe CF stunk up the joint in La Liga this year, with a 12-win, 8-draw, 18-loss campaign that put the squad on the cusp of relegation....

Lady Politician Kicked Out For Rocking A Jersey
Clare Curran, a member of the New Zealand Parliament representing Dunedin South, was asked to leave the debating chambers yesterday after arriving in a Highlanders jersey to show her support for the rugby club's original colors. The Highlanders have announced plans to adopt a green jersey, which h...

The Mystery Of The Mets Manbaby
At Citi Field last night, something...was....

Bulls Fan Learns The Shame Of The Giant Foam Hat
The giant foam hat is all fun and games until it is shown on the Jumbo Tron which is then shown on national television which is then uploaded to YouTube with ridiculing commentary and which then makes it to here, where we will shame your giant foam hat shame. What a world....

Of Pomp And Circumstance
Look, I know you're sick of this, but I think it's worth noting even for the millionth time just what kind of big, dumb spectacle we all watched slackjawed on our stupid televisions: an overhyped and overproduced orgy of excess and inexplicable weeping presided over by a pious relic that perpetuates...

This Is Omar Vizquel Singing A Goo Goo Dolls Song
This is old, but whatever. From this amazing album, in case you're wondering. [H/T Hardigree]...

They're Still Playing "Friday" At NHL Games, And At Least One Grown Man Is Enjoying It
We know that internet memes generally have a very particular shelf life, and we respect that Rebecca Black's "Friday" phenomenon might have worn out its welcome by now. When we first posted the video to accompany another meme, it had 200,000 views; it now has 61 million views and a dedicated Tumbl...

Was Scott Howard Actually Better Than Teen Wolf? A Statistical Investigation
This is Regressing, a numbers-minded column by our clever friends at the Harvard College Sports Analysis Collective. Over the past week, they've been applying rigorous statistical analysis to some of the finest basketball movies in the history of cinema (and also Hoosiers). The series concludes wi...

Calculating The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air's Usage Rate, And What It Can Tell Us About Ball Hogs
This is Regressing, a numbers-minded column by our clever friends at the Harvard College Sports Analysis Collective. Over the next few days, they'll be applying rigorous statistical analysis to some of the finest basketball movies in the history of cinema (and also Hoosiers). Today we have some b...

It’d Take Trey Parker A Million Years To Lose, And Other Statistical Oddities Of <em>BASEketball</em>
This is Regressing, a numbers-minded column by our clever friends at the Harvard College Sports Analysis Collective. Over the next few days, they'll be applying rigorous statistical analysis to some of the finest basketball movies in the history of cinema (and also Hoosiers). Today: The offensivel...

Compiling The Absurd Box Score For <em>Space Jam</em>; Or, Shawn Bradley Sucked Against Cartoons, Too
This is Regressing, a numbers-minded column by our clever friends at the Harvard College Sports Analysis Collective. Over the next few days, they'll be applying rigorous statistical analysis to some of the finest basketball movies in the history of cinema (and also Hoosiers). Today: Space Jam by t...

An Advanced Statistical Analysis Of Jimmy Chitwood's Basketball Performance In <em>Hoosiers</em>
This is Regressing, a numbers-minded column by our clever friends at the Harvard College Sports Analysis Collective. Over the next few days, they'll be applying rigorous statistical analysis to some of the finest basketball movies in the history of cinema (and also Hoosiers). Today: Calculating Ji...

Sabres Fans Tortured With Rebecca Black's "Friday"
If you haven't seen and laughed at this video yet, I don't think we can be Internet friends anymore. But a meme does not an arena anthem make; that's why it was so curious when our Buffalo correspondent texted to let us know that during last night's game against Carolina, the Sabres played "Friday...

This Is What It Feels Like To Be Almost Killed By A Baseball. Twice.
Freak accidents like the one Gunnar Sandberg experienced last year are a terrifying part of the game. I've been hit in the head with a baseball twice — once as a pitcher and once as a hitter, which is in the video you see here. These incidents occurred within 18 months of each other. The first tim...

Six Degrees Of NBA Separation; Or, Why Buddha Is The Center Of The Basketball Universe
This is Regressing, a numbers-minded column by our clever friends at the Harvard Sports Analysis Collective. Today: Connecting Blake Griffin and Charlie Parsley in eight easy steps....

A Brief Video History Of Physics Not Applying To Basketball
Last night, West Virginia upset No. 16 UConn in Morgantown, 65-56. Alex Oriakhi went to the line with the game tied and just a few minutes remaining the first half, and he took what was mostly a nice-looking free throw, especially for a big man. But the ball bounced around the rim a few times befo...

The Smart Way To Expand The NFL Season: 18 Weeks, Not 18 Games
This is Regressing, a numbers-minded column by our clever friends at the Harvard Sports Analysis Collective. Today: Why a second bye week makes sense....

How The NBA Ruined The H-O-R-S-E Competition
This is Regressing, a numbers-minded column by our clever friends at the Harvard Sports Analysis Collective. Today: The NBA's H-O-R-S-E competition was doomed to fail....

Connecticut Man Ordered To Publicly Apologize To Whale Mascot
Kevin O'Connell got drunk and went to the Connecticut Whale minor-league hockey game on Jan. 28. When he got there, he tackled and punched team mascot Pucky the Whale, who was greeting child fans. In court a few days later, he said he did so because of a bet....

The New Pac-12 Can't Have Its Domain Name Because 2Pac Lives, Obviously
Next season, Colorado and Utah will join the Pac-10 conference, making it the Pac-12 conference. Eventually the league's current domain name, a sensible Pac-10.org, will have to change by one character. But for all we know, 2Pac is alive and emerges every now and then to quench his thirst for "Hand ...