whimsy Page 90 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Half-Court Shooter Wins $77,000; Dry-Humps Ape
Rhett Brown, 43, is a much richer man. But can that money buy his dignity back, since he made the shot under-handed? [With Leather]...

Now With Even More Rick Majerus!
If you have a chubby fetish or simply like your sports in extra-large helpings, here's the blog for you. (NSFW banner ad) [Chubby Sports]...

Shooting's A Sport, Right?
I mean, if biathlon is an Olympic sport, then surely this counts as sport-related. I have no idea where or why this video exists, but it does and we are all better for it....

We Are Currently Experiencing Technical Difficulties
The fancy on-screen graphics do-hickey at WECT-TV in Wilmington, North Carolina, broke down last night, so they had to do their local sports scores on a whiteboard. It's kind of adorable, actually. [WECT, via SportsCracklePop]...

Bango Goes Down!
Earlier we showed you the incredible true story of a basketball shot banked in off the crotch of Bango, the Milwaukee Buck. What you didn't see was the tragic aftermath of that horrible day....

Florida Panthers Announcer Has Seen "Wedding Crashers" A Few Too Many Times
I've always said that the Florida Panthers had a game better suited for radio—I've always said that—but I never realized just how entertaining it is to listen to their play-by-play man call games....

Dallas Cowboys Somehow Make Barbie Dolls Even More Sexist
Congratulations to the Dallas Cowboys and their famous Cheerleaders. They've won a prestigious TOADY award for teaming with the gold standard on unhealthy representations of female beauty and then taking it up a notch....

Finally, A Triathlon For Drunken Rageaholic Gamblers
Billiards and high-stakes poker are not exactly riveting spectator sports, but you know what would make them surefire TV entertainment? If at the end of each contest, players beat the crap out of each other....

Donuts And Erin Andrews Shall Sustain Them
Hunter Pless, 21, is the letter 'R' as he and his friends spelled out 'Erin Andrews' during the Krispy Kreme Challenge charity run at North Carolina State on Saturday. [WRAL]...

Without Eternal Vigilance, It Could Happen Outside Of Your City College Women's Softball Practice
Santa Barbara police arrested a "middle-aged male" for masturbating in the parking lot where the Santa Barbara City College softball team was practicing. Carl Monday is not amused....

Young Florida Fan Gets Preview Of College Life
Just guessing, but this is probably exactly how Michael Phelps acted during that South Carolina frat party. (Examines fingers) ... "Is this real life?"...

The Onion Sports Network Debuts
Tom Coughlin Retires From Family To Spend More Time With Team”Let’s steam things up.” [Onion Sports Network]...

Matt Cassel Got A Little Wet At The ESPN Party
For the most part, this Super Bowl XLIII party weekend seemed relatively tame compared to previous years. That is until somebody at the ESPN party peed on Patriots' quarterback Matt Cassel....

The Ballad Of Brenda And Kurtis The Stock Boy
Sports is a cold and cynical world, but its nice to know that uplifting tales of goodness can be found in the abyss. Oh, look... your mom just forwarded you an email from 1999!...

Man Who Walked On To Court During Providence Game Jailed Without Bail
Upset brother, Jonathan Xavier, violated his probation from a 2005 drug conviction when he walked on court to yell at ref. [ESPN]...

Jim Leyland Has a Lovely Singing Voice
The Tigers skipper belts out a couple bars of "Betcha By Golly Wow" during the team's recent visit to the Motown Museum. And people say smoking is bad for you....

Wistful for the Days of Unintentionally Hilarious PSAs?
Then how about some videos of past baseball greats trying to keep you off the crack and the coke?...

Jennie Finch's Son Being Groomed For A Life Of Separation Anxiety And Ass-Kickings
Saw this little tidbit in, of all places, SI writer Jack McCallum's "Bottom 10" list: Softballer Jennie Finch is positively distressed about taking away her son's pacifier and blanket....

Raise Your Hand If You Know The Lyrics To "Grab Them Cakes"
Writer with extremely large brain and embarrassing music collection does an amazingly thorough job analyzing the genius and nuances of "The Wrestling Album". [Mental Floss]...