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Here's Conor McGregor Knocking Down A Slice Of Pizza Wearing A Wig
Earlier tonight, aspiring boxer Conor McGregor lost to a heavy bag in a public workout so feeble and ridiculous that anyone watching had to wonder whether McGregor had some mysterious business reason for masquerading as a clown or just is one. Perhaps in response, UFC figurehead Dana White has poste...

Paulie Malignaggi Claims Conor McGregor And UFC Set Him Up To Look Bad
So, Conor McGregor’s idea of a suitable sparring partner in preparation for his upcoming fight against Floyd Mayweather Jr. is Paulie Malignaggi, a kazoo with a thick Brooklyn accent and boxing gloves. Malignaggi and McGregor have been battling in Las Vegas since mid-July, sparring on July 20 and ag...

Nicky Delmonico Makes White Sox Debut
In his sixth year as a pro ballplayer, Nicky Delmonico made his major-league debut with the Chicago White Sox tonight, striking out before a sparse crowd....

Yoán Moncada Carted Off After Nasty Outfield Collision With Willy García
Less than two weeks after he was called up to the major leagues, White Sox top prospect Yoán Moncada was carted off the field after colliding with teammate Willy García in the outfield during the sixth inning of tonight’s game against the Blue Jays. García was able to walk off under his own power, b...

Everything After Daniel Cormier Got Knocked Out Was A Disaster
There’s debate over whether the ref waited too long to stop the fight in Saturday’s light heavyweight championship bout between Jon Jones and Daniel Cormier, but maybe the real controversy should be over why a clearly concussed and struggling Cormier wasn’t allowed to immediately leave the octagon a...

White Sox Attempt To Lure Fans Using Cheap Cased Meat
Having only won a single game in their last 13, culminating in three straight losses to the Chicago Cubs, the Chicago White Sox are struggling to attract fans to the ballpark. Perhaps having intuited that a .111-hitting Yoan Moncada, Alen Hanson, David Holmberg, and Whothefuckis Thatguy aren’t going...

Things Anthony Scaramucci Said In The Interview Where He Talked About Steve Bannon Sucking His Own Cock, Ranked<em></em>
Anthony Scaramucci, a finance guy or something who doesn’t seem to understand anything about being a press flack, called the New Yorker’s Ryan Lizza last night and ethered every one of his White House enemies in one of the greatest and most surreal interviews in American political history. Here are ...

White House Alters Transcript To Clarify That The President Is Actually Really Good At Golf
During new White House flack Anthony Scaramucci’s introductory press conference, he bragged that his famously exercise-averse and bulbous boss was in fact a sports genius, capable of throwing “a dead spiral through a tire,” “swishing foul shots” in a suit, and sinking, uh, three-foot putts....

The Cowboys Might've Really Screwed Up This Lucky Whitehead Business
The NFLPA is gathering information on the truly bizarre Lucky Whitehead situation, with an eye on a potential grievance against the Cowboys for cutting the wide receiver following a shoplifting arrest and failure to appear in court—both of which, it quickly turned out, were bullshit. Whitehead wasn’...

White Sox Make Transaction
The White Sox have sent reliever Anthony Swarzak to the Brewers in exchange for outfield prospect Ryan Cordell....

Carlos Rodon's Start Was An Amazing, Confusing Mess
White Sox pitcher Carlos Rodon, making just his fifth start of the season after a lengthy DL stint, took on his team’s cross-town rivals at Wrigley today. Sox fans, I have good news and bad news....

You Don't Have To Be A Fucking Stooge
Yesterday, word started getting around that Cowboys receiver Lucky Whitehead had skipped a court date after being arrested for shoplifting at a Woodbridge, Va., convenience store. Shortly after that, Cowboys head coach Jason Garrett used his Stern Voice to tell reporters that the team was “gathering...

Cops Admit That Wasn't Actually Lucky Whitehead They Arrested
The Dallas Cowboys cut third-year wide receiver Lucky Whitehead yesterday after news surfaced that he had missed a July court hearing after being arrested for shoplifting from a Virginia convenience store on June 22. One big problem with that: It wasn’t him that had been arrested....
![Cowboys Cut Lucky Whitehead After He Skips Court Appearance [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/rkbnh44riz9tup7tcabg.jpg)
Cowboys Cut Lucky Whitehead After He Skips Court Appearance [Update]
On June 22, fringe Cowboys receiver Lucky Whitehead was arrested in the parking lot of a Woodbridge, Va. convenience store after a worker reported that he had shoplifted from the store. Police charged him with petty larceny for allegedly making off with less than $200 of merchandise....

And Now: Ken "Hawk" Harrelson & Steve Stone Discuss Hemorrhoids<em></em>
It’s late July and the White Sox are dutifully maintaining their position at the bottom of the American League. In other bottom-related news, here’s your White Sox announcing crew discussing hemorrhoids during the sixth inning of today’s matchup in Kansas City—one the team lost on a walk-off double ...

Trump's New Lackey Says The President Is So Good At Sports<em></em>
This morning, beleaguered and incompetent White House press secretary Sean Spicer resigned and went off to the great briefing room in the sky in protest of the White House’s hiring of hedge fund guy Anthony Scaramucci as communications director. Scaramucci gave his first address to the press today, ...

Watch Mikhail Prokhorov Do Insane Billionaire Gymnastics In His Technicolor Forest Dojo
Remember when Nets owner Mikhail Prokhorov showed up at a team practice and gave his players an unbelievably awkward demonstration of his wall-dribbling drills? As it turns out, those drills were not simply the invention of one man’s wealth-addled mind, but part of a martial art known as Tescao, whi...

White Sox Call Up Top Prospect (And Twinkie Lover) Yoan Moncada<em></em><em></em>
Yoan Moncada, the 22-year-old Cuban second baseman, will make his first major-league appearance for the White Sox tonight, acting in essence as the first ambassador for the Sox’s now extremely stacked farm system and offering Sox fans their first glimpse of a future the team has promised will have b...

White Sox Add To Prospect Stash While <em></em>Sending Todd Frazier, David Robertson And Tommy Kahnle To Yankees
The White Sox are sending all three of their most heavily rumored trade chips—third baseman Todd Frazier and relievers David Robertson and Tommy Kahnle—to the Yankees in exchange for prospects Blake Rutherford, Ian Clarkin and Tito Polo plus, uh, Tyler Clippard. ...

White Sox Announcer Who Rejected Fried Pickle Also Rejects Frozen Turkey
The Chicago White Sox are playing the Los Angeles Dodgers, who are pitching Clayton Kershaw, tonight. Let’s talk about what happened Friday night, when Sox play-by-play man Jason Benetti presented color man Steve Stone, who previously rejected a fried pickle, with a frozen turkey on his 70th birthda...