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Cowboys Receiver's Missing Dog Returned By Rapper Boogotti Kasino
Yesterday, Cowboys wide receiver Lucky Whitehead alerted the world to the fact that his adorable dog, Blitz, had been stolen from his home and was being held for ransom. Blitz was safely returned last night, but not before falling into the hands of a local rapper named Boogotti Kasino, who vehementl...

Cowboys Receiver Says His Dog Is Being Held For Ransom
Here’s a fucked-up story to ruin your Monday afternoon: Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Lucky Whitehead claims that his dog, a very cute pit bull pup named Blitz, has been stolen from his home and is currently being held for ransom....

White Sox Announcer: "We Have No Budget Left For The Second Half Of The Season"
While discussing how he bribed people to say nice things to color man Steve Stone on his birthday during the top of the first inning of tonight’s tilt against the Seattle Mariners, Chicago White Sox play-by-play man Jason Benetti admitted that the team had run out of money for the announcing team to...

KatyPerrysBootyHole And Wetbutt23 Broke The Jose Quintana Trade
The White Sox’s trade of starter Jose Quintana to the Cubs for four minor leaguers went down with remarkable secrecy, with no leaks and no rumors that the teams were even working on it. (It later emerged that Rick Hahn and Theo Epstein ducked backstage at the All-Star FanFest to talk business.) Wel...

White Sox Trade Ace José Quintana To—Oh Fucking Come On
The Chicago White Sox announced today that they have traded 28-year-old ace pitcher José Quintana to the fucking Chicago Cubs, who are basically worse than the St. Louis Cardinals at this point....

White Sox Writer Believes Team's First Half Was Not As Bad As It Could Have Been
The Chicago White Sox are 38-49; their last game before the All-Star break was a 10-0 loss to the Colorado Rockies in which they were two outs away from getting no-hit in the most hitter-friendly ballpark in the majors. The team is last in the AL Central. Pitcher José Quintana is on the trading bloc...

I'm Sick Of Dana White's Fat, Sweaty Head
Yesterday, Conor McGregor and Floyd Mayweather kicked off the Let’s All Pretend Conor McGregor Isn’t Going To Get His Ass Kicked press tour for their fight on August 26. The first press conference ended with the two fighters facing off and talking shit, which would have been fun to see if not for th...

MMA Reporter Ariel Helwani Says UFC Booted Him From McGregor-Mayweather Press Tour
Conor McGregor and Floyd Mayweather are embarking on a short world press tour to promote their very dumb fight next month, and it kicks off today in Los Angeles. UFC czar Dana White will be there, but the most prominent member of the MMA media will no longer be working the event for Showtime....

Steve Kerr: Warriors To Discuss Attending White House If Invited, Will Consider Going "Out Of Respect For The Office"
Warriors head coach Steve Kerr says that the team has not yet received an invitation to the White House, but they’ll have a group discussion about it if they do and will consider attending. ...

Blight Sox: Chyron Edition
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White Sox Pitcher Gives Up First Career Dingers To Three A's Rookies
James Shields took the mound today for the sad-sack White Sox, and in the course of pitching three brutal innings gave up a two-run dinger to Matt Olson, another two-run dinger to Franklin Barreto, and a solo dong to Jaycob Brugman. Olson, Barreto, and Brugman are rookies. It’s wild enough to give u...

Steph Curry Doesn't Seem Like He Wants To Go To The White House
Earlier this week, irresponsible and unfounded reporting claimed the Golden State Warriors will not be visiting the White House following their NBA Finals victory. That story was false; there’s still good reason to think that the team, or at least a few key members, might skip out on the tradition....

White Sox Announcer Rejects Fried Pickle
As the Chicago White Sox were beating the hell out of the Baltimore Orioles—a bullshit team favored by Deadspin staffer Laura Wagner and Gizmodo Media Special Projects Desk deputy editor Tom Scocca—play-by-play man Jason Benetti offered a fried pickle to color man Steve Stone, who refused to enjoy i...

White Sox Batter Attempts To Reach Base Using Novel Technique
Why the Chicago White Sox claimed Pittsburgh Pirates infielder Alen Hanson off waivers last week and then added him to their roster remains unclear. Hanson, 24, hit .205/.239/.261 in parts of two seasons in the National League; his minor-league record doesn’t suggest he has much to offer at the plat...

About That Warriors White House Visit
Barely hours after the Golden State Warriors won their second title in three season, a report claimed the team had already decided to skip the White House ceremony usually available to championship teams. It seemed plausible, but the claim had little proof supporting it....

White Sox Benefit From Series Of Cartoonish Errors And Misplays, Still Fail To Score
Willy Garcia was the very lucky recipient of one bad read, one fumbled catch and one airmailed throw on a fly ball he hit to deep right field tonight. Granted all of those advantages, he was then thrown out at the plate:...

How Did Umpires Declare This A Home Run?
Rays centerfielder Kevin Kiermaier’s defense has such a strong reputation that when he misplayed this fly ball in the first inning of Tampa Bay’s game Tuesday against the White Sox, umpires decided the ball must have struck one of Tropicana Field’s rings—and awarded batter Yolmer Sanchez a home run....

UFC All-Timer Demetrious Johnson Mocks Bald Clown Dana White<em></em>
Demetrious “Mighty Mouse” Johnson is perhaps the greatest MMA fighter of all time, and yet he’s not a star....

One Useless Man Is Called A Disgrace, Two Are Called A Law Firm, And Three Or More Become The White Sox<em></em>
And by God, I have had these White Sox!...
![Minor Leaguer Escalates Rowdy Brawl By Whipping A Baseball At Opponent [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/rby2ajarudngrppxe4dc.jpg)
Minor Leaguer Escalates Rowdy Brawl By Whipping A Baseball At Opponent [Update]
For a while, this basebrawl was suitably wild without exceeding the bounds of a typical melee. During a Sunday game between the West Michigan Whitecaps and the Dayton Dragons of the Class-A Midwest League, Whitecaps shortstop Daniel Pinero stepped on Jose Siri’s ankle after he stole second. Siri and...