wood Page 72 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Daily Closer: You're A Good Man, Kerry Wood
Notes from a day in baseball:...

Tiger Woods Actually Offends Someone
After he failed to chase down Phil Mickelson in The Masters over the weekend, Tiger Woods told reporters: "I putted atrociously today. Once I got on the greens I was a spaz." We blanched when we heard him use the term "spaz," if just because that's pretty much what every grade school teacher calle...

That Was Not As Much Fun As It Should Have Been
Phil Mickelson is your 2006 Masters winner. There was no drama on 18, there was no big finish. The 18th was just a formality. Phil Mickelson bumrushed the field, or perhaps more accurately, let the field bumrush themselves, en route to an easy green jacket....

A 10 Unlike Any Other
Tiger doesn't look like he wants to be a part of it, but we're going to have quite a finish to the Masters anyway. Phil Mickelson continues to lead by one stroke. He's at -6, with Freddie Couples one stroke behind and Jose Maria Olazabal and Vijay Singh two back....

A Ponytail Unlike Any Other
For the moment, I'm going to ignore the people who would tell you that "The Masters doesn't start until the back nine on Sunday." I've been watching for almost an hour already, and there's no way that Miguel Angel Jimenez's fucking head is bothering me this much without the tournament having start...

Masters Morning Mayhem
Golf was on at 8 a.m. this morning, which was a pretty good way to ensure that I wouldn't be watching it. But I missed some compelling action, it seems....

Tiger Woods Successfully Completes High Five
As we congratulate Tiger Woods for finally figuring out the correct way to slap another man's hand with his own, we take a look at the Masters, which, for all its bluster and Carlyle Group vibe, is the one golf tournament we look forward to every year, even if it's just because it reminds us that ev...

Clipping Coupons At "Cold Pizza"
We know we pick on "Cold Pizza" a little more than we should around here; it's kind of an easy target sometimes, and besides, since we're here by ourselves all day, it's the only thing on. It's not as bad a show as, say, "Quite Frankly" or "Teammates," which is not to say it will ever be confused ...

Tiger vs. Phil. Without The Phil.
They were tied heading into the weekend at the Ford Championship at Doral, and they played together on Saturday. And, as has become traditional in such situations, it didn't work out that well for Phil. Since teeing it up on Saturday morning against Tiger, Tiger's only ahead by 8 strokes....

ESPN Hollywood Bites The Dust
Proving The Brushback's prediction a mere two months before it launched, several sources have confirmed that "ESPN Hollywood" is being cancelled by the end of the week. (The good folks at Sports Business Daily informs us the last day will be Friday, January 27, a week from Friday. This means "ESPN...

Eva Longoria Slumming It, Big Time
Gossip site EITM Online — imagine US Weekly with uncomfortable photos of Mischa Barton's, uh, monthly visit from a friend — has a picture they claim is of Eva Longoria (Spurs guard Tony Parker's lady friend and fellow terrorizer of Mexican police officers) and ... wait for it ... "ESPN Hollywood"...

Oh, We've Hit The Big Time Now
We've slipped on "Cold Pizza" and "Quite Frankly With Stephen A. Smith", but boy, today did we ever hit the jackpot: "ESPN Hollywood." We just received this email:...

The Kids, They Love Woody Paige
Did you know that ESPN dog food eater Woody Paige is a huge hit with the college kids? Did you know that he's the sensation that's sweeping the nation? Did you know that he can't walk anywhere on the streets of New York City without being mobbed by adoring fans? You didn't know that? Really? Well,...

"Cold Pizza" Now Lunchtime Treat
Over the weekend, our man Woody Paige — whom we swear we're not picking on; we're gonna cut down on Woody news soon, promise — wrote his last column from the Denver Post, saying he's now going to "stick it out in New York for a while." We have no problem with this; we live in New York too, we lik...

What You Wish Woody Would Say
While watching Woody Paige dressed up as Elvis on "Cold Pizza" this morning — because he's outrageous! — we decided to filter through our requested submissions for Woody's chalkboard sayings from our readers and thought we present you the best ones. This one might be our favorite, since it remind...

Woody Paige Sees All
On yesterday's "Around The Horn," our man Woody Paige acknowledges that the world is watching....

Tiger Woods: Mr. Cool
While skipping through The Sports Frog this morning, and we came across this photo of Tiger Woods' famous shot at the 16th hole at Augusta in The Masters this year....

More "Colbert Report" Than "After M*A*S*H*"
It is with much glee that we point out that the mad scientists at Yard Work — the brilliant satirical site featuring mock columns from ESPN luminaries, along with Rickey Henderson, Ozzie Guillen and countless others — have launched their first spinoff site: the affectionately named Hard Wood, whic...

Woody Paige Is More Serious Than You Think
You thought you knew Woody Paige. You thought he was the guy who ate dog food on the air. You thought he was the guy who threw temper tantrums because nobody invites his girlfriends to ESPN going-away parties. You thought he was the dope who wore stupid hats and called himself, inventively, "Profe...

Well, We Suppose It Was Inevitable
This morning, ESPN2's "Cold Pizza" featured several mock "battles" between the "actors" from the Medieval Times "restaurant" chain. Afterwards, sports "analysts" Skip Bayless and Woody Paige gave them all hugs. And that's all we have to say about that....